eFriend To Real Friend

NotCarrie:
I started to get nervous on Friday like I was inching closer to a date starting or something. I was more conscious of my outfit and how my hair looked, was my makeup okay, do I have things to talk about? Am I going to disappoint in person?

Let me back up a little...Champagne in the elevator? No, before that...

Meeting someone I've met online. I've only met one person from the internet before and he definitely lived up to his nickname, NotCreepyInternetBoyfriend (NotCIBF), so it's an adventure I had been hesitant to try again. But meeting a friend from the internet? Sure! Why not? So Friday night, I met up with NotMiranda in the city with plans to meet up with NotBarmaid later that evening. We had some time to waste so we spent most of it drinking: chugging the delicious nectar that is champagne in an elevator, Woodchucks at Busboys and Poets, and finally, being winos at the BYOB HR57.

I had a splendid time but hope that next time (yes, a second "date"!) there will be more wine and less volume-it was tough to get good conversation going with NotJazzyJeff blaring away on the sax and our long list of things to discuss: 90210, Uncle Jesse, dating, lack-of-dating, etc.

NotMiranda?

NotMiranda:
Like NotCarrie (or maybe not) I was a little nervous at meeting an online friend in person. Not only is the anonymous nature of this blog a comfort, like I've heard said again and again, making a new friend is a lot like dating. I had a great time hanging with NotCarrie and an even better time doing the friend "interview" with NotBarmaid. Fun, hot and sassy...any girl who can drop the f-bomb with such flair is a friend of mine! Even funnier were my post-get together thoughts. Did I come across as lame? Was I boring? Do you think she'll email again? Hahaha! No wonder I'm a picky dater and keep my group of friends small and tight-knit.

Hot Night Crash

So i got in a fender-bender today. NOthing serious, i just wasn't paying attention and rear ended the car in front of me. I didn't make any marks on their car.
The lady in the car was UBER nice, I mean she joked about it like "you wrecked my mercedes" as she wiped some dirt off the back bumper of her honda.
But why couldn't it have been a hot guy? I mean seriously. We would have both pulled into the CVS parking lot, locked eyes, and then traded a bit more than insurance information... if you know what I mean.
This weekend I'm going to New Jersey with NotHusband, which I am looking forward to. What I am not looking forward to is us going to a bar in NJ and him collecting all of my attention so I can't flirt with hot mafia guys and make them buy me drinks.
Last Saturday we went to my place of business so I could change my schedule for said trip, as well as flirt with the cute guys there. Before we went in I go "make sure you don't act like my boyfriend" and he was like "alright, but I never do..."
I didn't feel like explaining to him that when he's with me, it's like we're a couple because that's just how he acts.
He proceeded to stay as far away from me as possible in the store and I believe I bruised his ego, but oh well.
Then he furthered my annoyance at him. As we left, I told him which one NotElvis was and he was like "oh. him? hm." and made a face.
That little fucker.

I know I complain about him a lot and I'm sure you ask yourself "NotCharlotte, then why are you friends with him and hang out with him constantly?"
Because honestly, I have a good time with him when:
a. there are no men around
b. we do what he wants to do
c. i drive the car.

i'm kidding. I just have to accept that he, like quite a few of my friends, is very self-centered. He just happens to fit that category more than most.

Step In When...

My sister and I were talking last night about certain behaviors we never want to have while in a relationship. I hesitate to list them for fear of offending someone but I'm going with the trusty "to each their own" mantra. Just know that most of these behaviors are ones that become obnoxious at a high level or when combined with other annoying things.

1. Always Having To Touch Him/Her: I say him/her because I not only will not constantly have to have a hold on my boyfriend, but if he tries to do that to me, it's over. I had a FRIEND once (friend, not even my boyfriend) who was so possessive like that and would always have to be in contact with me. I don't look at it as being sweet, I find it annoying. (And as a note to any future beau, do NOT touch my sides, I will freak out. And do not, under any circumstance, tickle me. Ever. EVER!)

2. Having To See Each Other All The Freaking Time: This is mostly a complaint my sister has since she lives in a dorm room and feels the direct effects of this. It's like when someone loses their own identity because they're so busy just being where their sig. other is. (Can I just say that whenever I think "significant other" my mind first thinks "sig fig" as in "significant figures" a la way too many science classes...anyway.)

3. Obnoxious Pet Names: I've never been given a pet name from a guy and it's something I am very okay with. The closest is probably the drunk slur of my name NotRoger used to say but I tried to ignore those. Letting a "honey" or "Sweetie" out every once and awhile doesn't bother so much as "Hey Schnookalumpagooshypants!" or "Oh, Sugarlips..." do. "Boo" is on the fence for me. I call everyone boo but have always clearly defined the difference in calling a friend, boo, and a boyfriend, boo. I do believe I have helped the word "boo" to infiltrate the vocabulary of most everyone I know including my mother, my father, my boss, and my coworker who is in her 50s. I am proud of my achievements but am not sure I could call my boyfriend, boo, without vomiting.


4. Excessive PDA- Nevermind the fact that I totally want to *christen* the backseat of my car, I'm not a fan of crazy public displays of affection. (Besides, I plan on it being night and very dark and possibly on the most secluded road ever when my backseat is *christened*.) This one can kind of go hand in hand with #1 if the sig fig other constantly has to be touching the other and really seals the deal with letting every person in the area know that, yes, I can stick my tongue down his/her throat! This is another fine line area and I'm not sure how to define where it starts to become very annoying to me. Maybe when I start to wonder if I'm watching porn, or when I feel like I might have syphilis. And I've totally been guilty of PDA in my time, so maybe I shouldn't talk but my moments in public (parties don't count) are few and far between and most often with strangers so I really can't be blamed as it's just not safe to makeout with strangers in private areas. I prefer the public arenas where yelling for help, if needed, would be followed by actual help and not my own voice bouncing off the dingy motel's walls. But I kid, I'm a kidder. I'd never go to a dingy motel room with a stranger. (The Wyndham is considered nice, right? Ha, a story for another time, perhaps.)


So yeah, those are just a few things on my list. My sister has strict instructions to stage an intervention if I start down these lonely paths of desperation.

Breathless

Do you ever has those guys you don't know but see every now and then? And every time you see them they make your heart race and you get a little breathless? I have one of those. I don't know his name or anything about him. I just know that I see him all over both D.C. and Fairfax. We lock eyes...my heart races. My cheeks are like two rosy mood rings betraying my interest. I saw him again last night and have decided it's about time I go in for the kill.

Subconscious Kissing

I keep having first kiss dreams. The kind where the subconscious scene is what would make the near perfect reality. Where it's perfect but awkward at the same time and there is the moment where someone leans in and somehow it works. And after a moment someone finally breaks away because it's too soon to know each other's subtle kissing cues. But just for a quick reassesment because neither person wants it to end and maybe this time the other person leans in.

I keep having these first kiss dreams and they're the kind where I not only remember them clearly the next day but I swear they're haunting me. Why can't I just have a sex dream like normal people and wake up and say, "Hmmm, I just banged Mr. JT" and then go on with my day and forget it before I remember to tell anyone. But no, I have to dream of these perfect little moments and then relive them all day long because for some reason everything reminds me of them.

And the worst part is, I'm not dreaming of some celebrity or of a person with a nameless face. That wouldn't be a big deal. That wouldn't stick with me all day long. But no, my subconscious kissing partner keeps being the same face and each time I have this dream (we're going on a handful of times now) it's like throwing a wrench in an otherwise well-working operation. I know it sounds melodramatic to be making a big deal about these first kiss dreams but it's like my resting mind is mocking me and calling me a liar. "You can't be over him! You're dreaming about him!" and then I wake up and go through my day wondering not only what my dreams mean but also what those kisses would mean in real life and are they ever possible and would they be as perfect as in my dream and then...and then I realize the wrench has been thrown and all bets are off and I have to give in and be a girly girl for awhile and daydream and let myself wonder.

Wondering sucks. Wondering is like pressing your nose against the window from the wrong side of the party.

To Hell in a Handbasket...

I think I'm done with the dating bit. Right now I can't get over the hangups I've got and I can't get me together enough to be happy or even interested in the guys I'm dating. So far there have been four.

NotAtAllAttractedTo: He was just physically unappealing, however, for the sake of looking deeper I accepted date number two, only he didn't bother to call for it and I had decided to call it off based on sound advice from NotMiranda and NotCharlotte.

NotClosetedHornyCatholic: Pious and a dom. Willing to go to confession and want to strip me naked in the same breath. Maybe I was the reason he needed to go to confession. I'll do ten Hail Mary's and not call him in the morning.

NotObsessedwithTennis: Great conversation, lots to talk about and two weeks later, "I'm not ready to be there for someone like the way its supposed to be". Scratch that, great conversation and an overwhelming sense of reading way too deep into a first date.

and finally,

NotRum: Able to start conversation without introducing himself first. Able to be funny and manage to hold my attention for large periods of time, but falling short *way short* in my height requirement department. And his most cardinal sin to date...being late after asking me to make time to see him today.

So at this end of this 2 months of venturing into the dating world via the online personal ad, all I can say is that while I did get a nibble or two I was overall very disappointed.

This jaunt was shot to hell in handbasket and I can't even begin to drum up the enthusiasm to try it again. Maybe being single is a better strategy.

So here's my dilemma, is it better to just date and hope that love happens along, or should I continue to look for it in what I'm coming to see are all the wrong places? A little advice everyone if you would.

S.O.S.

I shoulgd nota be allowed tod rink on mayo de cinco.
happy mayo de cinco to evryboody
in theclubbge tting dipsy.

:-)

i wentto a pornshop with notmsantha. and oht husbnad. it wasnitntersting. he wasbulshing.

i nedd too sleep and rpobyaly delte this tomorrwos.

A Well Hung Pharaoh

Have you ever seen a better headline than, "King Tut's Penis Rediscovered"? And it's not only one of the greatest headlines ever but the article is a stand out piece of work too.

"At first look, Burton's pictures may seem to indicate that King Tut could have been a little better endowed. But according to mummy expert Eduard Egarter Vigl, the pharaoh was normally built."

First of all, Poor King Tut is totally blushing in the afterlife at this embarassment of his endowment size being guessed to be merely normal. King Tut was a total stud, I'm sure, back in the day c. 1333 B.C. and now he's being compared to Otzi, the IceMan who is described as having, "an almost invisible member" due to mummification and dehydration.

"All was normal in King Tut. The penis is a highly vascularized organ and shrinks when it is mummified. Actually, King Tut has been flattered by the embalmers' work. There is no comparison with Ötzi's penis," Egarter told Discovery News."

OK, so sure, there's no comparison with IceMan but as the stud he was and mummifiably is (haha, I made up a word?), he deserves better!

So I, NotCarrie, am starting new slang. "My boyfriend is a total King Tut" is now the equivalent to, "Hot Damn, my boyfriend, Clive Owen, is a total man-beast in the bedroom!"


(Although I'd never, ever say something like that outloud. I like to respect Clive's privacy)

Is that a Venti in your pocket?

So this morning on my way to work I decided to stop by a local Starbucks for something caffienated. I walk in and there's this hot guy working the bar, so I turn on the charm and smile at him.
Apparently, the lady in line before me had spilled something all over the counter. I didn't think much of it and proceeded to order my drink.
The hot guy was mopping up the counter with a towel, looks at the other girl behind the counter and goes "Don't make her pay for it, there's a mess on the counter." Then he smiled at me with his baby blues sparkling and I told him I'd be back again tomorrow.

Also, at the other Starbucks near my work, there's a guy that works there (too old for me, not cute) that gives me free espresso shots and also doesn't make me pay full price for venti drinks.

It's all in the power of a smile.

Maybe I'm in the wrong line of business...

Feelin' the spurs

Not sure you'll recall, but leading up to my 30th birthday I decided to make some bold moves. Unfortunately, months later I am now left questioning my judgement in such a strategic decision. NotCowboy was the 40-something heartthrob I lusted after for months. We had clicked early on through our work on a mutual work project. So...upon realizing I was about to enter what I officially considered real "adulthood", I called and left a message on his machine explaining I enjoyed his company and was interested in getting to know him better outside of a work environment. I was really interested in jumping his bones, but tact, at least, kept me from saying that. I never heard back from him and pretty much let it roll right off my back. After all, it was only lust and the work project we shared was wrapping up. So, why bring this up now? I found out a little over a week ago that there was a big media event for the project we had partnered with his company on. Normally, this is the kind of event we would have helped plan and would definitely have been there. However, did I even know about it? Did he call me or email to ensure I was in the loop? Hell, no. Is this something he would have normally done pre-friendly message? Hell, yes. It now appears that my decision to be forthcoming about my feelings will effect my position on a work project. Sigh. Sad to learn even older men still retain the immature gene.

The Right Amount

I think I had my perfect number of drinks Saturday night. Enough so I had a little buzz going but not so many that I started telling secrets and coming onto my guy friends. I even avoided the dreaded drunk depression that I absolutely loathe yet tend to get when I have a fast drunk that wears off even faster. You know the kind: woe is me, I'm all alone, noone loves me. But I did SO well Saturday! And I had fun...

I met up with NotRebecca who was in town and we started off the night with drinks and gossip-one of my favorite activites! We discussed it all: mutual (ex)friends who somehow found significant others, the creepy old men at the bar who kept staring at us, what current friends are up to, etc. Then, NotMiranda, NotJason, NotRachel and her hubby joined up with us. I always get nervous bring newer friends to this bar since it's the one I've gone to since I turned 21 many years ago. I worry they won't have fun or that some ex-makeout buddy will come in and totally embarass me by bringing up the past. But nothing embarassing happened much to my relief. Had a good time. Not a great* time but a good time with friends. And it was refreshing because the group was a little different than normal which is always fun. Mix it up a little. It's nice to have a good time out, not spend TOO much money and to wake up without that feeling of "Oh shit, what did I do and why did I keep drinking?"

Here is to more nights out! (and soon!)


*Great would = kissing some hott guy

Even the over 50 set has No Sex & the City

This may come as a shock, but I NotSamantha have a mother.

A mother who is currently getting more play out of her online dating than I am. *Here is where the irony of me joking about how I sometimes feel like the parent rears its ugly head.* However, even with her getting dates that are successful there are some pitfalls for her too. And since I truly believe that while we are not total byproducts of our environments, we are influenced by them heavily.

NotBettyBoop (my mother), was just recently asked by the guy she was dating NotTidewater, if she was "clingy". She recounted this to me in a recent phone conversation and I was shocked, because of all the people in my family she's not what I would call clingy. If nothing else she's the mother bird that pushes us out of the next and lets us fall or fly. She's there to pick us up if we get to bad off, but for the most part any mistakes we make are our own.

She continued that while she did feel particularly attached to this guy, she didn't think she was too clingy, and then she said he asked her if she was "needy", both bad signs to any dater. At this point she said she was ready to cut her losses and move on. But this left me with several questions...

1) Does age and maturity not count for anything in the dating world or are we doomed to have the same issues no matter how long we struggle with the opposite sex?
2) How can you assess the level of dependence of one person on another given two dates?
3) Is this what I have to look forward to if I don't find 'the one'?

The conversation finished with her saying she had written a letter and planned to send it out today "for closure". Unfortunately, she just opened a whole new can of "huh?" for me and this dating thing.

Would You?

Would you date a best friends' ex? I don't know if I would or not but the recent Denise Richards/Heathler Locklear love triangle made me think about it. My initial reaction is to say, "No way, I would never betray a friend like that if she wasn't okay with it." But then the Devil's Advocate part of my brain says, "Maybe the best friend's ex could be an even better best friend AND the love of my life." Hmmmm.

But hoes before bros.

Chicks before dicks.

What's a girl to do!?

I tried to think of the exes of some of my best friends and if I would date them but quickly realized that my friends and I (for the most part) have much different taste in guys. A best friend from high school though, now that I think about it, has always had boyfriends I couldn't help but have crushes on. I would never do anything more than just be a little jealous and now that I think about it, I'm not even friends with them anymore (most were mutual friends of mine). Hoes before bros.

But if one of my best friends came to me and said she had fallen in love with an ex of mine...would I be okay with it? Damn, that would be hard. It could potentially be so difficult to be as good of friends then but I guess sometimes the happiness of two people is more important than one.

I haven't had much experience with this...Have you? Would you date your best friend's ex? I guess the big clarifier is if he was indeed an ex or if he cheated on you because that is a whole other topic.

Confirmed clinger?

So I took the sleep test to find out what my ideal sleeping position is in a couple..

Find your own pose!

What the hell? I've always considered myself an independent, free thinker, but this has me looking clingy and needy. Alright, if I dig deep down, I know I'm pretty needy in a relationship, but come ON. I know I'm not like that. Am I?

Lack Of Funds

I know I'm not the only one out there trying to save some money and reel in the spending but dude, it sucks! I've never really rolled in the dough and been a big free spender (contrary to popular belief) but I'm about to make a large purchase and need to save, save, save so my usual habits of buying new clothes here and there, picking up the latest CD releases, and eating out when I want have all been cermoniously stopped. (The ceremony being my realization of how much stuff really does cost and that it actually adds up;)

It's really not that hard to save during the week. I ignore those pesky sale emails from GAP and Jcrew and pack my lunch each day while looking around for change to pay for my morning coffee (as opposed to just swiping the debit card). The weekends are when it gets tough and except for staying at home I've had a hard time getting out there while still saving money. The past few weekends I have stayed home more than usual both out of money concerns and scheduling problems but it's not a trend I want to continue. I don't believe that weekend nights out are the only time to meet new people (specifically guys although there are a few fellow bloggers I/we've been trying to catch up with) but I'm never going to meet someone sitting at home (especially since I took my profile off that online dating site.)

But where does one go to be around people her own age (plus or minus a few years) while keeping the night relatively cheap? I need assistance, my dear blogger friends...I need Lack Of Funds Nights Out ideas!

Fools Rush In

It's time to introduce NotElvis.
He's a guy I work with. Who bears a small resemblance to the hip shaking crooner of later years, minus the white fringy jumpsuit, penchant for peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and gigantic gut of his later years.
This guy, while not model gorgeous, is cute. And TALL! He wears huge aviator prescription glasses, but dare I say he pulls them off.
Anyway, this is the guy I currently have a crush on. He's not what I would normally call "my type," but the attraction level is certaintly there. He makes me laugh and I feel completely comfortable around him. This is ground-breaking because most of the men that I choose to like make me feel nervous, shy, and stand-offish.
Now I need to tread carefully though, since we do in fact work together and even though I only work two days a week at this job, he seems to work the same days I do and it would be bad if things took a turn for the worse.
It also doesn't help that someone who is very close to me happened to tell two of the biggest of big mouths at this store that I have a crush on NotElvis.

Now I just have to wait for the shit to hit the fan.

More later, I just wanted to get this out on "paper."

I can't stand the rain...

But I'm about to meet up with the guy that I stood up because he didn't respond to my email when i told him where and when we could meet.

This was the most random and fun of starts to a date.

I was driving home from work, fully intending to rent movies, get chinese and sit in front of my tv, kvetching with myself about my work day, but instead, I'm on the highway and I get a phone call from NotRum, and he immediately starts a conversation with me, no ice breaker, no "hi this is...and I've been trying to meet up with you..." just a conversation...

And he's here so I'll update in a sec.

*several hours later*

Its seems to be raining short men for me right now.

Met NotRum in the person, right now he's the oldest of the guys that I've gone out on dates with. He's funny too, which is in his favor. And during our impromptu coffee date, which managed to last another three hours, I have to admit that I'm being surprised the the guys I'm getting.

Of the three dates that I've actually had, the guys are really well versed in the art of dating and conversation. Again no lags in conversation...in fact this one was fun in that we surfed the net on my laptop and built a custom laptop on my favorite computer website voodoopc.com. I like this guy because he went toe to toe with me on my issues about living in NOVA, mainly the cost of living, the commuting, the usual gripes one would have living here.

I've also become aware of the fact that these guys aren't thrown off when they ask me what I look for in a guy physically and what I describe to them, isn't themselves at all. And in this case its the polar opposite. This date was a good way for me to get my feet wet again, and just like last Sunday's it gives me hope that there is a male population out there worth seeking out for dates.

Just to make sure I'm going to shake the online personal add tree one more time to see what falls out. And with my unbrella up, I'll be able to deflect any toxic/pathetic raindrops and let the truly well developed ones fall (for) me.

Puma...really?

According to a recent article in the New York Post, I just might be a puma. What, pray tell, is a puma? A puma is a woman in her 30s who has a penchant for younger men, outmatched only by the more aggressive urban cougar (40ish women picking up younger guys). I use the word might because (1) I'm barely 30 and (2) the only reason I seem to go for younger men is that they seem to be the only single men I happen upon. I don't have a particular thing for picking up younger men and using them for their bodies (not that I'm against that). In fact, at the moment I'm developing a small (but growing) crush on a man* a couple of years older than myself.


*more on him later

Marriage Proposal

I just got a marriage proposal!

I just ran into NotTaylor downstairs and after our usual small talk conversation he said how's he's leaving tomororw for Vegas. He joked he was "going to get married" to which I got really excited and said how I'm only going to Vegas if I come back married. I totally want to get married in a Vegas drive-thru. Anyway, he laughed and as he was walking away he said, "So, you available to go?"

Your Name is NotFreak, right?

Last weekend began on Thursday for me. My jobbiejob give its employees Good Friday off, so I spent the day prepping for the marathon date weekend. This included the female ritual of hair and clothing that must be tampered with and purchased for the pretense of showing myself off to the fullest.

I was originally scheduled for 3 dates, one on Friday night, one on Saturday afternoon and one on Sunday evening. Things were starting to look up, I felt optimistic for the first time in two weeks about this whole dating bag and then...just as I was strolling along in pre-date bliss, I got smacked with the 2 by 4 of a reality check.

Date #1 that didn't happen was NotClosetedHornyCatholic: Nice guy. We had great conversation on the phone, the emails were a riot and as I had explained to NotCharlotte and NotMiranda the night before at our hangout of choice, the opportunity for making out with this one was high. So high in fact that I had forgone my usual predate engine starting and had cleaned my bathroom and swept the carpet in my bedroom, in preparedness for some carpet burns to be had the following night. But alas, it was not meant to be. 1 hour before the fun was to start my cell phone rang and it was NotCHC asking me if I had gotten his email.

*raised eyebrow*

No, I hadn't and why did I need to. I proceeded downstairs with him on the phone and opened up my email account to see that he had emailed me and in my ear he droned as I read the message that he felt lame for canceling on my because of how the previous date had gone with my 'poof'er. Basically, he's Catholic (no big deal), and since it was Good Friday, his mom had called him and reminded him that he needed to go to Mass that evening, which he had totally blanked on. Also, he felt quite the overwhelming need to strip me naked when he actually did get to meet me (his words not mine), that he also felt that a trip to the confessional was in order as well. So, in short, we wouldn't be going out tonight and he felt really bad about it.

*sigh*

So, that left me dateless and horny on a Friday night. SO, what did I do. Sit and sulk for about an hour and then headed out to meet NotMiranda and NotCharlotte for a very bad attempt made by yours truly into the forays of knitting. Can girlfriends help one forget about being horny and lack of makeoutness...no, but they can keep me from dwelling on yet another bad date.

The really sad part about this date never happening is that I was turned on by the idea of the ripping off of clothing or at least some mild/wild groping...sad I know, but still a guy who wants me that much and this is just from phone conversations and emails. Of course he could have a hairy back and then where would I be....

The weekend took a slight dip after that. I cancelled again on the previous week's date and finally faced up to the fact that I didn't want to meet up with him because he set off little alarms in my head. *Yay for gut instinct!* To which proved to be right, when I got a literal "fuck you" email from him after I sent him a message begging off for the evening and letting him know I wasn't sure if I would reschedule.

However, Sunday's date, which I was very explicit about him calling to let me know that we were still on by at least 4pm, otherwise I wasn't going to show, was very surprising.

For one, he was ontime.
Second, he was very engaging.
Third, he was easy on the eyes.
Fourth, we managed to have a great conversation (with no dead air) for three hours.

This was what I had always expected when going out on a date. Someone I could talk to. Now if it wasn't for the fact that I kept getting his email mixed up with another guy I had been corresponding with via email...

The date ended with me letting him know that if he wanted to get together again, than he could call. And me having had some faith restored in the male species and the who notion I had about dating. In fact he capped it when not ten minutes after I had driven off he called me to let me know how much of a great time he had had.

Tearing off my clothes was not even necessary, this was peace of mind.

If The Shoe Fits

I have these situations where I guess I get bored or something and I create a crush. Obviously, since I created it and it's not really backed up with true feelings, it's not a big deal. It probably shouldn't even be called a crush. And before you think it, No, I am not leading people on. It's more of like a way to pass time while bored or when trying to get over a real crush. It's a true NotCrush. So I guess I'd have to call it a NotNotCrush.

NotTaylor is a NotNotCrush. Sure, he's probably really hott to some girls and I bet those same girls would give anything for some attention from him but I have no interest really. (OK, a quick makeout session in an empty office maybe but that's more because I NEED a MO session ASAP). If someone asked if I have a crush on him I would honestly say no.

NotButler is another NotNotCrush. Someone who is attractive and there and really stands out against the blah that are the usual coworkers. But do I have a real crush on him? No way. Outside of work I might not even notice him. He's a cool guy, don't get me wrong, but not someone I sit around daydreaming about.

Anyway, I guess one could say my weekend was super unexciting since all I have to write about are NotNotCrushes. Soon...SOOOOOON the excitement will be back. It will. April is a crappy month, I don't expect much from it.

Happy Black Day

Apparently, today is Black Day, an informal day in South Korea when singletons get together to "commiserate" their lack of mate. I must thank Wikipedia for bringing this to my attention and also for having links to other articles about the day I have been missing out on for twenty-some years. Maybe we're missing out by not "celebrating" our own day by eating noodles with questionable black stuff on them. I like the idea of having a day to go out and drink though. I can always participate in a holiday involving alcohol.

So for today, here is to all of us singletons! Have a drink! Cheers!

Someone Must Get Hurt

So this thing with NotMarine is a no-go. I had a realization this week that i'm just not that into him.
How "no sex in the city" of me.
So i emailed him cancelling plans for Thursday. I didn't hear from him for a bit, then realized he took me off his friends list on myspace. I then started wondering what the hell was wrong with me, that he'd start ignoring me.
I'm such a hypocrite, but it's true.
I was getting ready to break it off with him, then when he does the ignoring thing that i'm famous for, i get pissed off about it!

I'm such a bitch sometimes.

Anyway, he's talking to me again and now i feel bad because inevitably, i don't want to go out with him again. I don't have a reason other than the fact that i can't see myself in a serious relationship with him. And i know that he can. It sort of scares me, that after only 3 dates he wants a "serious relationship."

Such is life.

Speak To Me

I think if I had an accent I could take over the world. I think this because I bet a man with an accent could take over my world. What is that strange power of the accent? Why and how does it make him ten times hotter? It's not a talent or a characteristic or even an indication of the type of person he is but I swear, I hear a man with an accent and I find myself swooning. Hot men with accents:

Tony Blair- Have you ever watched British Parliament? I have. Tony Blair (never mind how you feel about his politics! Keep that out of here) is hilarious and has a hott accent. If there was a twelve month calendar of hott politicians it would be his month all year long. (Besides, who else would you put in it? Yelch!)

Sean Connery- The man is OLD but he speaks and I swear he's my age again. ("The Rapists for $1000!")

Hugh Grant- What prostitute incident? Apologies with accents count more, I think.

Colin Firth- Has any living woman out there not fallen in love with this man in one of his movies? He's really not that attractive but he has an accent and I think it makes his characters sweeter and hotter.

Anyone Scottish, really- I have a slight (ok huge) thing for anything Scottish. Blame my ancestors who came over here a few generations ago but if I hear that glottal stop sound I pretty much just get a smile on my face.



This topic isn't totally random, though. Many of my favorite bands are from the UK and one of my favorites things is when a person's accent come through in the song. So you can imagine my absolute DELIGHT when last night I got to see one of them live! Up close and personal. Not personal enough though...it took a lot of will power not to be "that girl" with the band. (Although, had one asked...it would have been iffy that I would decline;) I couldn't help but let my mind wander during the show and think about one of them coming up to me after the show and asking if I wanted to "hang out". Would I? Ha, probably! Hell, a proposition with an accent? How could I say no? And really, these men (yes, MEN) aren't your typical cute indie boys. These are burly men with full beards and the obvious effects of too much beer but I won't lie: I found them incredibly attractive. Was it the accent? The guitars? The honest lyrics? I don't know but I wanted to go in back and do bad things with them. I really did. I wonder how my name would sound with an accent...

I think the odds are against me...

Okay, after two dates using yet another online method, I'm o for 2...If I were a betting woman, I would say to quit now before I get in any deeper, but I'm trying to be optimistic about this so I'm going to give it another go.

Last Friday, turned out to be spineless guy night. I met the guy at an area that had a used bookstore and I saw him before he saw me and the first thing that jumped out was how much shorter he was, like his shoulder was 2 inches below my shoulder short. But, I'd made the committment and figured that at least there would be interesting book conversation. So we proceeded with the date and the book shopping was slightly interesting. Then the shop closed 20 minutes after we had arrived, the thunderstorms rolled in (literally), and we decided to move the date to the nearby superbookstorechainofdoom.

I dashed to my car, he ran to his and we drove out. Note I did not actually see him leave or what car he drove due to the downpour. I got to the store, went in and started looking at books near the center aisle so that if he came in he wouldn't have to search to hard for me.

Ten minutes go by and I'm in fiction.

Twenty and I'm in Scifi.

Thirty and I've moved to Graphic Novels.

By this point I had started to do that whole look up everytime someone walks by and I was starting to get irritated. But trying to give him the benefit of a doubt I walked up front just to see if he had been hovering at the door or outside looking for me. Not there.

*sigh*

So with that, I decided that I would get some coffee and if he hadn't made an appearance I would chalk this one up as a learning experience and go home.

Got coffee AND a pastry (again giving more benefit of a doubt), went to the front looked left, looked right, still no date, and kept walking to my car.

Now, I've never gotten stood up mid date...had someone not show at all, sure, but to meet and then do a poof on me? So for a while I was annoyed with myself and down about my looks and trying to figure out how he saw me and what would have made him run. Then I just got plain mad...what his deal. I would have gladly cut the date short if he had decided that maybe we weren't a match. No use wasting a night on something that you think isn't going to turn out right.

As I did the rehash the next day with NotASong, she was flabbergasted and said it was just rude and her bf NotAClipper said the same. So its not me, its him...and I'll just add this cliched date into the "learn from" category and move forward....

Lost My Game

I think I've lost my game.


NotMiranda, NotCharlotte, and I stopped by NotCheers (a bar) on Friday night and I didn't talk to a single guy. NOT ONE! And just to show how odd this is, let me point out that NotCheers is where I had my Night Of 5 Kisses, where I was "that girl" and also where at least three of my guy friends have asked me to sleep with them. Don't misread that like I'm a slut, I'm not, at all. I just got a lot of reception to my flirting there and I know how to work it with the guys at that bar.

And it's not only at NotCheers that I've been feeling like I'm striking out. A bar in Fairfax and I didn't talk to anyone? Night's out in DC and I don't meet anyone new?!

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GAME?!

I was actually thinking about this yesterday and may know the answer. I think my strategy (aka game) and my goals are different now. Sure, a few years ago I was all about the random making out in a bar and I knew how to get it. But now I think I'm leaning more towards the quiet, not crazy, nice guys and I have no idea what to do. And forget that "be yourself" bullshit because I've been myself for over 25 years now and just sitting around being awesome (aka myself) doesn't bring them in. Dating is like marketing sometimes and I need to somehow update my sales pitch for me. I need new game!

Revealing Too Much

So this evening I decided to go to a play with NotHusband. Before the play started, we were flipping through the pictures on his phone. He was like "this one is Mary, this one is Becky, blah blah blah" then we get to one of a fully erect penis. His face, manohman, it was the best face i've ever seen.
I started laughing hysterically just because I thought it was a random penis that someone sent to him.

Then I looked at how red his face was and it hit me..."Is that YOURS?" I asked him. He nodded his head.
I almost died.

But at least I can say I finally saw my husbands package. And it honestly wasn't anything to sneeze at.

When a woman takes control

I'm a pretty upfront girl with my feelings, preferring to eventually bare all rather than twist in the wind. If anything, the back and forth with NotGraceful only demonstrated this further. However, this in-your-face blunt girl has been known to play her share of games in the battle of the sexes. For years, my relationship with NotEnough* has been one long tease, each of us playing and playing off of the other. Within the past couple of years, I actually feel like I've gained the upper hand. I know I'm not supposed to view my relationships with other people that way, but it is what it is. I discovered that NotEnough is your classic type who wants what he believes he cannot have. By being disinterested, I've taken control of the situation and can pretty much guarantee he'll make the first move. He also has a tendency to increase contact when he's on the outs with his current girl or when he's at the point in a relationship when tough decisions about the "relationship" need to be made. Yes, I'm that girl. Consider a recent email exchange after 3-4 months of no contact (my read in italics).

NotEnough: Looks like your old abcnews.com client is moving to Today. There is change afoot with the current girl, so I'm looking to re-establish a connection.

Me: Interesting. I'll have to read the article when I get a chance. Having problems are we? Well, I'm not about to seem interested in picking up where we left off.

NotEnough: So, how have you been? What's new in your life? Are you still with XXX? I won. He had to cave and show interest first.

Me: I've been good. Life is fun. I'm still with XXX, can't believe it has been almost five years. I'm getting antsy and looking for a change, though. Anyway, I have to run. That's all your getting for now! I don't need you, and right now I'm so busy living life that I can't even fill you in on how great everything has been.

NotEnough: In this day and age, I wouldn't consider five years antsy. Anyway, I'm still with XXX. NotFlorida has been living with me since October and just got a job a day ago - boutique law firm downtown. She starts next Tuesday and is then going to look for her own place. We should get together for a drink sometime. There could be trouble in paradise. Regardless, let's do drinks and makeout like we always do.

I would say that maybe I'm reading him wrong this time, but I haven't in the past. He's pretty consistent in his patterns. I haven't responded to the last email yet. Maybe I'm tired of playing the game. I can't say the satisfaction of a makeout session doesn't sound good, but then I'd just be that** girl again.


*...because for the life of me I can't remember what name I've given him in past posts.
**a future post by NotCarrie and me about how we've been that girl before.

It's Getting Hot In Huuurrrrrr!

So let me reiterate: I am NOT interested in NotTaylor. I'm not. But with that said, it's a lot of fun to flirt with him! Yesterday our paths crossed quite a few times (on purpose perhaps?) and we had a few fun exchanges. At one point he called me honey with his thick southern (hick?) drawl which was a first. I showed him where the receptionist's secret chocolate stash is and later he told a coworker I "fed him chocolate" (hmm, a slip for what he hopes to happen? haha). I need to figure out his in-office schedule though so I know which days I need to look my best. Oh and how could I almost forget-he and I were randomly assigned to the same group for an office project thing. Should be interesting.


I'll keep you posted!

What You Don't Know...

8th and Ocean, on MTV, is my new "guilty*" pleasure. It is definitely MTV's answer to America's Next Top Model but strangely, there is hardly any modeling in it. It's okay though, I am fascinated by the twins and how bitchy the one is to her sister. So anyway, the last episode I saw they were having a Girl's Night and one said that she wished to be a virgin again, like Britt. After everyone freaked out for a moment she explained that Britt didn't have anything to miss since she had never boned. It made not getting some not a big deal.

Last night, on one of my infamous long drives home where I overthink everything, I was thinking about what I'm missing and (sorry for the rhyming) it's kissing. I probably, as a female in her mid-twenties, should be missing something more exciting but I'm not. I just want to freaking kiss someone...and soon. It would be so much easier to go without it had I never done it in the first place. Hahhaha, just kidding. I would never wish to have not kissed. How tragic! But really, soon please.



*I don't believe in guilty pleasures because why should I feel guilty for liking something?

Shallow end of the Dating Pool

I’ve decided against doing date #2 with, NotMyType.

My main reason; its useless to prolong something that I know I’m not going to move forward with. And the reason behind that: I’m just not interested. I mean not at ALL. Upon further discussion of this with NotMiranda, NotCharlotte, NotRachel and NotVoiceofReason I discovered that I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that he wouldn’t be what I wanted, great conversation aside and gentlemanly attributes aside.

To be honest I wanted him to walk right past when he pulled up in front of me and got out of the car. When I placed the ad I put up two pictures of myself that showed exactly how I looked. One was a full face shot and the other was a full body shot. Both clearly displayed that while I am not petite or slender, I am quite curvy and in my opinion striking. His picture came back a little fuzzy and didn’t show him from head to toe, but I just took it in stride and decided that I would see the full package in person. However, I was quite shocked when I did meet him in person, remember that I wanted him to walk by me. So now I’ve run headlong into being shallow because I immediately discarded him from my cache of dating material because of his looks. And this is not to say that he was horrid to look at, no, not at all. He was however twice my size and several inches below 6 feet.

I am an average height of 5’7” tall and for this date I wore 3 inch heels, for me they’re a judge of height when I’m on a date as I would typically like to look up at my date. Now while the height for me isn’t a hard and fast dealbreaker, they can be something that I would be picky over if I had the choice. Lets just say this gave him a bad start to a date that was already dying in terms of being a success.

But we all know by my lack of dating that I have no right to be picky, though I can and do have some absolutes that I adhere to and for NotMyType, the weight is one that I couldn’t let slide.

I don’t want to date someone who wouldn’t be capable of satisfying my sexually, and while my appetite isn’t overwhelming, at times it can be voracious. And I know that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. Also, I have no interest in seeing him naked and I know I wouldn’t be able to get excited about the idea of doing anything remotely sexual with him.

So where does that leave me, besides questioning my own prowess as a dater. Well, to start, I have to admit that I’m shallow. In dating, I want someone who meets or exceeds certain physical attributes that I find attractive, and when I go on a date with someone who I thought would fall within them and then doesn’t I’m disappointed and my whole judgment system is thrown into a tailspin. I don’t give him the benefit of a doubt because I was caught off guard by something I didn’t expect. Namely, that he would be so much larger than I am.

At first I felt bad about how I had totally discounted the date itself because of how he looked and then I rationalized to myself that most men do the same thing. So in the name of equality of the sexes I’m entitled, to do so as well. And as NotASong reminded me, "You're just getting back into the game, he was a test run and you got your feet wet." Hopefully, in getting my feet wet I don't end up drowning here in the shallow end.

And the irony of the entire situation, despite the fact that we had already agreed upon date #2, he hasn’t called me at all.

Rites of Spring

Well, the second date went really well.
NotMarine decided to take me to the Melting Pot for our second date, which in NotSamantha's words means "he really likes" me.
We went to the one in Reston, however I got lost. The second I told him this over the phone he offered to "come find you" which was a bit odd, but I told him no and found it myself. I am an independent woman!
Anyway, we finally get there and he looked really, really good. He wore khakis and a button down shirt, which made my jeans and silky top feel very casual, but he didn't care. He got me 1 dozen pink roses, which made me melt just a little.
We sat down to dinner and had a really nice time. There was never really a break in conversation (again) and this time our conversation progressed more into the "serious" type of conversation.
We talked about his Iraq tour and he informed me that if I put his name in a google search, I would come up with an article about his accident. This intrigued me to no end and at that moment I wished I had a sidekick (NotMiranda, I thought of you).
He then surprised me by asking if I was seeing anyone else. I told him no and he had the same answer.
He was SO incredibly nervous the whole time, when he made compliments towards me (silly ones, like "I like your ears" and "Your hair is so pretty") he wouldn't make eye contact with me. He made a few "interesting" comments, like the fact that I will "eventually see [his] tattoos... I mean, well, if there are more dates." I didn't feel sketched out at all by some of his more inappropriate comments, probably because he didn't seem to want them to occur right at that moment.
The other day we had been talking online and I told him that the Melting Pot was too expensive. His only reply was "don't worry about it." Last night he told me that when I said that to him, his only thought was "perfect."
He's playing the "serious relationship" card though, I'm pretty sure. He asked me what I'm looking for right now and to be honest, I told him I was looking for a relationship. He agreed and we left it at that.
But honestly, are you supposed to talk about that on the second date?
We had more interesting conversation, including the quite modest fact that he wants a "disease-free relationship" to which I replied "well, i'm disease-free, that's for sure." The second date, i'm quite positive, is not the time to bring up my V-status. I'm not even positive the third date (which will occur) is the right time to do it either...
So we finished up dinner (with free chocolate dessert, thanks to the fact that the waitress loved that we were on our second date) and walked outside. He got all blushy and then grabbed my hand. He has such nice hands. I made a stupid comment "I like hands" and he walked me to my car and turned towards me. I knew that he wanted to kiss me, but was acting all flustered, so I went in for the kill. It was just a quick peck, but it was enough. I gave him a hug and then we went our separate ways.
I immediately went home and searched his name. The article on him was pretty good, he received a purple heart for his duties in the war and I couldn't help but feel proud that I'm dating this guy.

Friday Oddities

Uhhhh, NotTaylor sorta just asked me out. Usually our conversations are the same:

NotTaylor: "How are you?"
NotCarrie: "Good, How are you?"
NT: "Good"
NC: "Cool"

Today I decided to change it up a bit:

NC: "Yo, sup?" (Seriously)
NT: "How are you?"
NC: "Good, you?
NT: "Good"
NC: "What are you doing this weekend?"
NT: "I don't know yet, you?"
NC: "I don't know yet, either"
NT: "Well, when you know, let me know so I can be there, too."


Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....OK, So he didn't really ask me out but WHAT?!

Pleasing to the eye

I'm in the mood to cause trouble this morning or, at the very least, stir up an interesting conversation. What goes better with mornings and trouble than porn? I don't usually have porn on the brain and don't consider myself an aficionado (even a regular viewer). It's just that it seems like so many of my friends* are all about the "perfect" porn these days. NotCharlotte has been on this hunt for "indie" porn she read about recently and even downloaded some classic German porn to check out. She has been all about the arty stuff and claims the German piece had even received critical acclaim. NotSamantha seems to have a predilection for anime porn (not judging) and probably many others I'm unaware of. Of the Nots, she has taken the most active interest in visual stimulation. Did you know she discovered a Netflix-type place that just does porn?! Who knew! My own porn experience has been fairly limited. I've only seen a couple of what I would call "hard core" (the stuff someone has to rent and that shows everything). Other than that, my only other run-in with porn is catching the occasional late night offering on Cinemax. I don't really consider myself a porn kind of girl. I just don't need it. However, I have been curious about all the crap I constantly hear on how porn needs to be done differently for women. Women need an more of a plot line. Women need to emotionally connect with the characters. Is this crap actually true? Maybe I don't get to answer since I don't consider myself a "porn" girl, but when I think of porn and the select times I've watched it, isn't the whole point of even viewing it to get off? Are there women out there who really get into the plot? Maybe I need to see "good" porn to get this, but anything I've caught that appears to be making an attempt at an actual story looks even more ridiculous. It's like the worst kind of B movie. I would compare myself to a guy, just looking for the visual, but I don't think that's fair assessment given that I'm not really a "porn" girl.

Baby Fever!

Is it just me or are couples emerging from their winter hibernations with news of babies at an alarming rate this spring? Babies are everywhere! My relatively small office now has two pregnant women, both due in the fall and my coworker was telling me how she has no fewer than four friends all due in September. Apparently, December through January was a busy month for getting it on and fertilizing things. The only thing I fertilized in December was my poinsettia and really, who am I kidding because that thing died a horrible death while sitting on my desk.

I'm certainly not jealous of these women or wishing to be preggers myself, don't get me wrong. My mother probably wishes I felt differently right now as her eyes are really getting the "I Want To Be A Grandmother" glazed look more and more often when she sees the babies. I do want kids, I definitely do. Just not right now. Especially since the interviews and magazine covers would get to be a bit much since for me to have a baby right now it would have to be an immaculate conception and I'm reallllly too busy right now to be giving birth to little miracle babies.

Sadly, I already know the name for said miracle baby, but I digress.

Focus on the Roller Coaster

So this weekend was fantastic.
I met man #2 from the Onion. NotMarine. We started talking on Monday and by Wednesday night we had already decided to meet. His pictures were cute and our conversation (via IM and phone) was interesting. I told him to come by my work on Thursday night to say hi. Due to some mixup, he went to the wrong location. Instead of feeling stood up, I oddly felt okay with it. Friday he sent me an email apologizing so I immediately called him and scheduled a "hang out session" for Saturday.
We met at the movie theater and I'll admit that my first impression of him was just ok. He's taller than me, which is a plus, but he's got really, REALLY short blonde hair and his glasses were big and round. But he smelled good and his smile was great. Every time I talked to him before our meet up, he said that he would make it up to me for not showing on Thursday. And he did. Even after copious amounts of complaining, he still paid for my movie ticket and dinner afterward.
We were sitting there, waiting for the movie (V for Vendetta) to start, and he said he was so nervous. Turns out I was his first online meet. I then told him that a movie might not have been the best idea for our first date because we had so much to talk about, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind to do. The movie was 2 hours long, but it was really good so I paid attention to it instead of leaning over and whispering questions like I should have done. He kept looking over at me throughout and I thought it was cute.
After the movie I ducked into the bathroom to give NotMiranda a text update and when I got out he suggested dinner. Which is a good sign!
We talked straight through some Chinese food, not so much as a pause in conversation. He asked me what I was passionate about and of course I said music and art. When I asked him the same question he said something about learning everything he can about interesting subjects. He then went on to explain that that's the reason he was asking me so many questions.
Then, on the drive back to my car, I asked him if he was still nervous. He told me that he was going to be nervous for the next few times because I was so pretty. If it was just a line, I fell for it. He's so sweet.
There was no parting hug or kiss, but I think we were both okay with that.
I spoke with him yesterday and he's still as intrigued as ever about me, so I'm breathing a sigh of relief that our meeting went well.
And for the record: there is attraction and there will be a second date.
This gives me hope :-) Let's just hope that by writing about it, I don't jinx it...

Back seat rules for the front seat...

I think I've become a geeky guy magnet, either that, or someone has pasted my picture in the personals section of PC Magazine (as if such a thing exists). I also seem to attract men who have roaming hands that move faster than the latest gaming pc chip. Tonight was my first date with NotAlbert one of the few guys who I struck up an actualy conversation with via email after he responded to my twoliner that I placed on an online personals page.

The ad has my picture and with most of my responses I had hoped to also get a picture in kind, which he did provide. After we had talked via phone and he passed the "I don't sound like a girl on the phone and I can have an intelligent conversation" test, we agreed on a simple movie and dinner date. Since he lived in DC he suggested a nearby theatre and I met him outside of the restaurant we would be eating at after the movie. When he pulled up, I'll admit it was a shock. He was definately larger than I anticipated, and shorter than I thought he would be, especially since I wore 3 inch heels to measure his height by. Me, superficial, you bet; him unwilling subject to my physical demands for a partner, you got it in one.

He didn't measure up to what I was looking for as far as body type for a guy at all. Although neither did NotSkippy. And while I chastised myself for two seconds about judging him based on his looks, I decided to continue to go along with it because he may surprise me.

Surprisingly, he didn't.

He was polite, attentive, and paid for everything, he was funny and surprised by my ability to hold my own dealing with conversations about sex, porn and computer sites (this is the only thing that knowing NotSkippy helped with). He was a NICE GUY (and every male that reads this blog just ran screaming into the darkness) But he just didn't do it for me. He touched my hand and I felt nothing, he didn't give me one of the LOOKs, or if he did, he didn't do it when I was paying attention so I missed it totally.

Now berate me all you want for holding him accountable for some ideal of the perfect man, but its my ideal and I'll keep if I want to. So where does this leave him. I know where he is mentally right now. He's probably happy that the date went okay and he got the go ahead for date two (this time I'm cooking since he seemed to be keen on the fact that I like to cook, which is true), and he's now probably trying to figure out exactly how to get me out of some of my clothing the next time we get together, since in the car after we had arrived back at the train station (he insisted that because of the late hour he didn't feel right about me taking the train back to my car, so he drove me to it), he tried to get me out of my sweater and my shirt and hopefully my bra. All under the careful guise of a massage...

Will someone please explain to me the deal with geeky guys offering the massage deal on the first date. Is this some sort of parlor trick that they all are given upon certifaction in whatever computing language they choose? It was very funny watching the play of emotions across his face when I asked him point blank if he was trying to get me out of my clothing. And then remind him that this is the first date and he's only eligible for knowing where my tattoo is and seeing it.

But, I digress.

In the spirit of it being the first date, and the high probability of me putting him in the "F" file under Friend or Failure (haven't decided which moniker to use for him yet), I decided to go along with this. And was surprised that even in this he had no appeal to me.

I'll put a tick mark in my check box for geeky and trying, but he needs to get a little bit more of something before he'll see anymore of me other than in the platonic sense.

"How YOU Doin'?"

NotTaylor is getting to be very annoying here at work. This is the "hot guy" of the office who knows it and saunters around like he owns the place. For some reason he has taken to staring at me and asking me how I am about 489032 times a day. And no, it's not because he's interesting in me. (And even if he was, I'm not interested in him.) I'm not bothered by his behavior in a sexual harassment kind of way but more because I can't fight back how I want to. If we weren't in the work setting I would totally be "flirting" back and teasing him and catching him in his lines. (Again, not in an "I'm interested" way but this is the only way to deal with him.) But I can't because I'm at work and I need to just fly under the radar and not get the "She's a crazy ho" attention on me.

Get Naked...or Free my Mind?

Recently, the thoughts of vulnerability and the ability to reveal all (ie get naked) have come up. I've been thinking about how I hold a part of myself back, even here on the blog where I feel that I am free to cut loose about any and everything that I wish to discuss either in relationships or in my personal life.

One of the reasons I don't reveal much of myself is the vulnerability that feel with each revelation and the trust I have to bestow upon those that I'm revealing myself to, and in cyberspace that's any and everyone who cares to peruse this blog. I don't know anyone who's that trusting. I know I'm not, but if I take this blog in the manner in which I mean for it to be received which is the muddling through of what is on my mind, then I think I'll be fine.

I've always prided myself in accepting people as they present themselves to me, I try to have no preconcieved notions about how they should act in regards to who they are, but I'm human and when I can I recognize what I've done and try my best to correct it, but it doesn't always work.

When I apply this same idea to relationships, I realize that for me this is a big part of why I'm probably not in one. I accept people, but I'm usually not willing to trust them, for years, I've held fast to the idea that if I ever married, I would already own my home and it would remain in my name throughout the marriage. For my married friends that I've shared this with, I'm usually met with a "why" and then a "don't you trust him" and my response is always "I trust him, but I don't trust him to not do me wrong". This question of trust is what trips me up in just about every relationship I've had (and they are few and far between because I often don't let them develop into a full relationship).

I don't assure myself of the fact that they will meet any of my expectations, this way I can keep myself from being disappointed when they don't meet my goals. My own protective shell if you will. The people who I've seen in relationships that are truly happy, have that glow of acceptance, trust and belief in their partner.

I can't help thinking that I won't be able to find that person to trust completely, and for me that's the saddest thing of all, and is part of the reason I can't get naked in a relationship, because even when stripping down physically to do the horizontal tango, I still keep my mental barriers up. I don't expect that person to be what I want because I don't have any expectations because I don't trust them at all and if I don't have anything that I'm searching for then I won't be disappointed, right?

Bride

I have a subscription to Bride.

I read it each month cover to cover, noting the gowns and ideas I like, and then forward it along to my sister. I'm not quite to Monica Gellar levels of having a notebook of Wedding Ideas 1-5 but my sister and I always end up playing The Wedding Game on long car rides. It's fun! Nothing wakes up a tired car like describing bridesmaid dresses and and picking out reception foods. It's great because it's like MadLibs but you fill in every blank spot except for the groom's face. (Okay okay, I make substitutes for the time being- Clive Owen, Brad Pitt, Michael Vartan, etc.)

Now, I'm not a crazy girl looking only to get married and making church reservations five years in advance but, I can't help but enjoy talking about things like wedding gowns and rings! And I'm not going to be a Bridezilla when/if the time comes and insist that everything be how it is in my daydreams or anything. Puhlease! Remember that I'm the girl who really wants to get married in a drive-thru in Vegas with my witnesses in the backseat. With that said...let's play!

Month: November!
Bridesmaid dresses: dark red
Ring: platinum emerald cut (my sister has strict instructions to let any future serious boyfriend know that I really really really really like the emerald cut)
Veil: undecided, it's traditional but do I really want to cover my hair and end up with some dent in it? Hmmm
Dress: It would be easier to tell you what I don't want but I've got to say I loved Gwen Stefani's with the pink on the bottom. I bet dark red on it somewhere would look like blood though, huh? Yeah, maybe not a good idea.

Hmmm, what else?

Do you all think I'm crazy now?

I'm Lonely (And I Love It)

Got a response from NotBeast.
He's not interested in a relationship.

Back to the drawing board... but with no regrets!

She Sends Kisses

So last night NotMiranda and I met up with one of my girlfriends from my second job, NotVCU and we tried to make the most of our St. Patrick's Day. NotGay was having a party, but that was all the way at Capitol Hill and we sat at a cafe for about 30 minutes talking ourselves out of going (drive too far, no good parking, metro ride hell). So instead we went in search of cute boys to look at. We ended up at a bar off of Main Street Fairfax that has a small stage, where many local bands tend to play. For only 5 bucks we got to stand there and watch George Mason University win against Michigan(?) and give eye sex to the cute bouncers. I kept making eyes with this one guy so I decided to write my phone number down and was going to pass it to him on our way out.
I chickened out. Much to NotMiranda's disapproval. But I do believe I completely made up for it.
After we dropped NotVCU off at her car, NotMiranda and I headed to my house for cheesecake, Bailey's and "What Not to Wear" (I <3 Stacy and Clinton), but before we could bask in the glow of learning what goes with neutral colored pants, I decided to do something BOLD.
I sent NotBeast an email telling him about the crush I have on him. It was a fairly well written 2 (short) paragraph email explaining why I hadn't told him this sooner and also asking him to dinner. The hardest part was pushing the "send" button, but I did it.

Now I must wait. Which is agonizing for me already. Thanks to stupid Gmail Notifier, every time I see the little envelope at the bottom righthand side of my screen, I get all nervous.

Believe me though, you guys will be (close to) the first people to know what(if) he replies.

For my sake though, let's hope it's soon!

Luck O' The (Not-So-Much) Irish

I have a date with McDreamy (does that make him Irish;)?) tonight.


Ahhhh, Patrick Dempsey, how I love thee.


Allergies/Cold-not so much.


So it's St. Patrick's Day and while every other year I'm sporting my "Kiss Me" shirt and drinking beer, this year I'm camped out on the couch with my tissues and Grey's Anatomy DVD (I love you, too, Netflix!). It's kind of hard to not go out and even though I have a good reason, I'm feeling kind of like a nerd. But besides drinking a lot, I've never gone out on St. Patrick's Day and come home with some cool story of snagging a guy (not that it is always my intention when going out but when it's the night of "Kiss me, I'm (not-so-much) Irish", then kissing seems to be the goal).

The past few years I celebrated by going to Kegs and Eggs in the morning and then being exhausted by the night. (Note: Kegs and Eggs is NOT the best place to meet people, it's the time and place to drink.) One year in college I passed on going out with my girl friends to instead go to another friend's place to hang out where my crush would be. Ahhh, what a fun (in the 'not-at-all' way) night. Another friend ended up drinking an entire bottle of Jack Daniels because he was upset about a girl and we almost had to call 911. It was so scary (and stupid) and I even went to the restroom in front of him because he was so gone. The only action I got that night was when my crush passed out, holding onto my leg. (Just for giggles, it was NotRoger, ha!)

So yeah, this St. Patty's Day is all about McDreamy but that's ok. I'll live vicariously through Meredith (this is season 1, remember).

Depressed, Discouraged and Back at Square One or What's Your Sign?

Dating in and of itself has many foibles, I've discovered. But what about when the dating is over, the relationship is done and you're back to the place where you're started (I call this Square One). Going with that analogy I liken this to some sort of weird ritualistic dance that we go through in the quest for another date. To begin to look for that person again, that supposedly we would like to spend time with for a night, a day or in some cases the rest of our lives.

But I digress...

I don't mind the dating, though at times it can challenge parts of me and bring up dealbreakers I never thought existed, its the getting there that always gets me down. I try to make it into a fun adventure, full of cool people and exotic locales, but usually what I come up with is Joe Blow Wanna Do Nothing and the 'burbs...*sigh*. Which has lead me to my latest idea for those of us who are fed up with trying to decipher the body language and unknown signals of the dating pros and dating inept (you chose which category you belong in, me I'm in the proinept category). How about a sign? It can be as large as you want, just as long as it displays exactly what you're looking for in your significant other, be as honest as possible and remember this is your sign, how's that for you reader's of "Blink", you'll be able to make that snap judgement lightening fast.

Because while its interesting to try and wade through the many many people we meet and would possibly want to date, its also discouraging, especially when paired with the inconsistencies of what a person says and what they mean or what they're really trying to intimate and what they're assuming you know. Its just too complicated. KISS(Keep it Simple Stupid)...

Now, in keeping with my own advice, here is my sign:

SF, slightly neurotic, oversexed and possible sub seeks, strong male to interact with. Must have prerequesite height of at least 5'10' in socks, length of manpart should be of above average and suitable girth. Man bears need not apply. Muscles are prefered, but will be overlooked for ability to move heavy things. Ability to match clothing, shower regularly and tell a great story are mandatory. Must have sense of humor, be openminded, but not a carpet. Please feel free to approach, especially if I look at you more than once and smile with teeth. No I am not a shark, but I will bite if you ask nicely.

So, I've put it out there...now show me your sign.

Am I the only one who watched it all?

I'm a smidge confused. I know I can't be the only one out there who has made it through Sex & the City (the entire series). It was a hit with legions of followers. That's why I get really confused when I read things that talk about how Carrie and the girls would be so disappointed at a single girl saying she wanted a relationship or wanted to settle down. I've heard this casually dropped in various places, but I was moved to write by reading in Judith Strauss's Unhooked Generation. Near the start of her book, she's weaving a tale of her singlehood and mentions she eventually reached a point in her life where her career and independent lifestyle just weren't doing it for her. When she paused for a moment she would find she was lonely and unfulfilled. She went on to say she had been ashamed of this feeling and that the Sex & the City girls would be sneering at her. Huh? Maybe she didn't get obsessed and buy the entire series like I did, but did she at least watch season 6? Agreed...the girls were strong singles who embraced life and sometimes the closest wang. However, the girls let their vulnerable sides show throughout the series. They were all on a quest for the right one, going through several "right one for right nows". Even Samantha's revolving door snagged a couple of true loves. That final season saw each of the girls reaching that point, that place of truly knowing where your heart should be. I cried way too much at the raw humanity in the last few episodes. One thing was clear to me even through my tears. This single woman we all adored and some wanted to be...she was just like the rest of us searching for that final piece of the puzzle.

Love And Memerade (?)

From the lovely Barmaid who somehow knew I love a good survey:

My nickname: I don't think anyone has ever had a 'pet name' for me. Friends call me "Boo" but only because we all declared it was not a term of endearment. My mom calls me "Lovey", does that count? I hate when couples have pet names, but maybe I'm just jealous.

My hometown: I was born in Leesburg

My team: The Heteros. (ha)


My theme song: A few spring to mind: "Closer"-Nine Inch Nails, "Everlong"- Foo Fighters, or maybe "Always" by Bon Jovi because I am unable to get over people and love them 'always'

My drinks: Champagne. or Gin and Tonics for the old man part of me.

My occupation: Heartbreaker


My spare time: Lusting, Overanalyzing, Flirting, Not-Kissing (apparently), Drinking Champagne

My hiding spot: With guys who want to "just be friends"

My books: Damn you Sweet Valley High! I want to BE Jessica!

My [fake] heroes: Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Garner


My [real] heroes: Carrie Bradshaw and my hair guy, NotGeorge.

My tags: NotCharlotte, NotSamantha, NotMiranda-Feel free to leave answers in the comments:)

The First Five Times

Saturday night involved me, NotMiranda, and NotHusband making porn in a playground.
Well, not really. I did take some rather interesting pictures though.
NotHusband had to make it an early night, which left NotMiranda and I alone to venture the streets of Fairfax in search of something to do. Driving at night is one of my favorite things to do, as long as there's good music and interesting conversation.
We started talking about relationships, and how bad we want them. I started thinking about why I'm so hesitant to actually tell someone I like them and I think I hit the nail on the head. I'm afraid of rejection, yes, but I'm also afraid of the "three date rule" that seems to be prevalent in this day and age.
I am a virgin. A 22 year old virgin. It's not something I'm proud of, but then again I sort of am. But honestly, 22 years without sex, I am 100% positive once it's done, I'm going to be like "why'd I wait so long?"
Regardless. I'm afraid that the moment will come with someone I really like and we're in this compromising position and I blurt out that I'm a virgin. That's going to be the moment of truth and the more I think about that, the more I realize that this is the reason that I can't be more self confident in my boy-snagging skills.
Making out is one thing, but that's fine for a bar hookup or a casual date. I am definitely NOT a casual dater, so if I were to date a person it would probably mean that this will come up in conversation.
I'm thinking waaaay too much about this. But I'm convinced that this is the reason I'm still single.
I guess it's a good thing that i'm not a "hook up girl" then. Sex is going to mean something more to me than just a physical need fulfillment. I'll just be on a mission to find someone who I trust with that information.

Smoochless

The Nots don’t exactly go out on Man Hunts with the only intention of meeting guys, but it’s probably safe to say that we are always up for it! So Friday night the four of us, plus one, headed out after our anniversary dinner for some drinks and pool. Now, maybe my memories are skewed, but in the past, going out for drinks and pool was synonymous with meeting people and flirting. So, I’m not too sure what was up with Friday night and Bungalows but the feeling I got was that people were actually there to play pool. (!?) The atmosphere just seemed way too tame so after a horrific round of pool (none of us are quitting our day jobs) we decided to head off on other adventures. Ah well, so Bungalows isn’t great for meeting new people;)

Saturday night was dedicated to guys I already know as I had dinner with one and then met up with another at a bar later in the night. NotCharming was my bar buddy and I’ve got to say, I would have made out with him in a second. But besides the night he was drunk and asked me to sleep with him (I did not), we’ve never done anything. Usually one of us is way drunker than the other so the flirting just doesn’t mesh well.

Oh well, the weekend wasn’t a total bust as I generally don’t gauge them on the amount of lip locking I do. If that were the case I would give up entirely on Friday-Sunday, haha! But really, between you and me, I’d REALLY like to up the levels on the smooch meter. Ha, maybe my first step should be to stop saying things like “lip locking” and “smooch meter”;)

How I got here

If life had worked out the way I had planned, I'd be married right now. We'd have a cute apartment in the hip part of Austin and would host intimate dinner parties on the weekend. We would do it every night and sometimes in the morning, too. I always loved having you be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. Instead, I have trouble committing to men. You cemented what my father started. Opening myself up to hurt is often not worth the effort, and the fact that you still haunt some of my fantasies doesn't help matters. I'm different without you. Even though you're no longer a part of my life, people would be able to see your shadow flitting across this site if they knew about you. I want them to know about you because to know about you is to know me. The baggage I've packed away is a part of me.

NotSteve was the one. I know so many of us don't believe in the one, but I'm sure he was the bees knees. I was young and impressionable, but NotSteve was the one I grew up with. Friends for years, the transition to significant other was subtle. There were so many stolen days spent skipping class and exploring each other on his parent's couch. (My heart wants to escape my chest even as I type this.) I remember the post-graduation trip with NotBlondie and thinking how I was most excited about seeing him again when I got back. That first night that he and I were an official 'us' was the night I got back. Sitting beside my car on that back country road and looking up at the stars . I knew I'd finally let him kiss me that night. That kiss was far from perfect, but I love how I knew he was someone I wanted to work with. I love how that became our phrase for 'wanna makeout' after that night.

We were probably doomed from the start, two emotional people who burn the candle at both ends. Those kisses did get better. Oh God, how they got better. We were each other's first nearly everything, and we spent so much time laughing and learning each other that we forgot other people existed. I chose him over school that first year, losing all my scholarships. It didn't matter at the time. He was more important than sleep or studying. I was all wrapped up in his goodness. Roadtrips and weekends away were just more of us in our own little world. I still remember the night he "kind of" proposed and the night I "kind of" said yes.

Somehow it slowly unraveled. These things always do, though for the life of me I don't know how. I was jealous of his time away from me, and he was still harboring resentment for the fact that I had strung him along for so long before admitting I liked him. We were working through some of our issues or so I thought. I haven't really ever been more wrong. No one wants to walk out to their car on a beautiful morning and see the note. I got dumped via note (good thing email wasn't as prevalent in those days). I remember operating in a fog over the next few days. My survival instinct kicked in, and I didn't cry and didn't call him. The part of me that doesn't trust told the part of me that had learned to love I told you so. I think I may have handled it wrong...letting my instinct to cut my losses and run take over. Maybe he wanted me to fight for him. Every now and then I wish I had.

I don't blame him for all the baggage I haul around with me when trying to meet men. I don't blame him for the fact that, up until I learned of his marriage a couple of years ago, I carried around the hope that we'd wind up as each other's emergency contacts. I don't blame him because my life is good. I think that us being apart has helped me become the woman I'm meant to be. I don't blame him. It's just how I got here.

You're Beautiful

I am certainly not the first person to blog about this song, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, and I am probably not the last. The first time I heard it, I hated it. I hated his voice. But then I saw the lyrics typed out somewhere and really read them. I imagined myself on the metro and seeing someone who took my breath away with their being but knowing that at an upcoming stop we would go our separate ways. What a romantic notion, to experience so much in such a short span of time when no words are exchanged and strangers remain strangers with just a look to connect them.

See, right now you might be thinking, "But NotCarrie, that's not what the song is about!" And you are right. Today, on Oprah (shut up), he explained how the song is very personal and is about a time he saw an ex-girlfriend on the subway (tube?) and she was 'with another man'. He sang the song so well and even though you know he has probably been singing this thing every day for months, you could see he was sincere with the words.

I don't really have a point to all of this, just that I enjoyed his performance. I really love how so much is expressed in the few minutes of the song. I do think I need to stop listening to all of these "break-up songs" though. Ha, I should at least wait until I HAVE a break up!

Sophomore Slump

So... this weekend was NotSamantha's birthday extravaganza.
Someone was there (NotBeast) that I hadn't seen for awhile. I just looked through our past posts and couldn't seem to find anything on him, which is weird.
ANYWAY, I can't stop thinking about how good he looked. And how patient he was with NotMiranda's drunken rolling on the ground/holding onto his leg.
Oh and NotSamantha, I don't know if you remember this, but this conversation did in fact occur:
NotSamantha: *NotSkippyologue* "NotBeast, you're cute but you're waaay to short."
NotBeast: *nods in his quiet, stoic way*
NotSamantha: "I only get ONE night a year to do this... *more NotSkippyologue* Oh, and NotCharlotte, you can sleep with NotBeast if you want.

Ahh... gotta love friends. And thanks, NotSamantha, I'm glad I've got your approval now :-)

Historical post on NotBeast later, for now I must do homework (*sigh*)

Together Is Enough

So my job has weekly staff meetings that NotMiranda calls, "Touchy Feely Meetings" because we do these workshops on things like leadership qualities and how to be a team player. Usually I am paying more attention to keeping my eyes open than on the lesson but every once and awhile something gets through to my brain. Today it was when the speaker on the video said that "in great relationships, the joy of being together is enough." Now, don't go crazy on me because you have to take these statements with a grain of salt. There will always be extraneous factors to nullify this statement. For example, if he's cheating on me then being together isn't really enough, right? I'm going to want to kick him in the face instead. Or, if he's stealing my money then hanging out is not going to be high on my list of things to do.

But taken simplistically, I really like this statement and even found myself relating to it. When I wrote about cheating on a crush I mentioned that there are only two people I would even consider to be in that highest level of crushes. Well, during my meeting I realized that both of them could also help prove the statement about great relationships. Even on our just friends levels, both of those guys are people I just wanted to be around and enjoyed spending time with. With them I am content to just sit there and honestly just want to be near them. Not in a needy, weird way but in an honest-to-goodness, 'I enjoy you as a person' way. It makes me happy to enjoy people just for who they are and not for how they are entertaining me or necessarily how we are interacting (even if, at the time I wish it was snogging).

I hope that future relationships arise from friendships like these. It's a sweet thing to just want to be with someone.

Building a love shack

Don't ask me why I was even thinking about whether or not I would shack up with a boyfriend when the current prospect has just flown the coop. I actually think it was spurred by a friend who was talking about wanting to move in with her current boyfriend (bf) in order to save on rent (not the best motivating factor, if you ask me). Anyway, the whole conversation got me thinking about whether I would ever shack up with a bf. I used to assume (and you can blame this on my conservative upbringing) that I would never live with bf outside of marriage. Talk about taking away the mystery, the allure that makes being married something different. I would also be afraid of the whole "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" phenomenon. As I thought more about it and moved past the auto response that has been programmed into me for so long, I realized that my opinion on the subject of shacking up had indeed changed. The thought of having to live with someone as husband and wife without trying it out for at least a little bit terrifies me. I can't imagine living on my own up until my wedding day and then suddenly having to learn to cohabitate, too. I realize that, whether you're shacking up with a bf or moving in with your husband, there will still be the initial shock of living alone one day and together the next. I just think it might be kind of nice not to have to wrap my mind around the emotional issues I'll have being someone's wife and having to live with them on the same day.

Making a graceful exit

I feel like I need to close the loop on the NotGraceful debacle. As if he were reading this blog, the email standoff ended at 4:26 pm on February 26, when I finally received a response to my "let's put all cards on the table" email. He said much more than I expected or even wanted. The gist of the email was that he wasn't interested. I got to hear how he was a laidback guy who felt put on a stage and that I somehow expected so much of him. Can I make one fucking thing clear here? I may air my neuroses on this site, but I do NOT display them for public consumption. The most he ever got from me was a tendency to ignore him. Maybe my neuroses cling to me like the stench of sour milk, but I don't think so. I also consider myself pretty self aware and got several signs that he might be interested in something more than friendship. Screw it. I can move on and do the whole friendship thing with him. In fact, that's what we've been doing since then. After a bit of initial ackwardness the first time we saw each other, he joked about the email, and I laughed and called him an asshole. Friendship can begin at asshole. It's what I do...I keep rollin'. The friend I am doesn't think about how hot it is that he played guitar and sang his own material in the wee hours of the morning at NotSamantha's party on Friday. The friend I am convinces herself that it's normal for him (a friend) to grab my (also just a friend) hand and hold it just a little bit. I just keep rollin'.

And my birthday wish for me...

I blew out candles on a stack of cupcakes for my birthday on Friday, and although today is the actual day, I made my wish then. Usually, I never make a wish on the candles, their symbolism just doesn't strike me at all. But this time I'd decided to let myself be caught up in the moment. I wished for love...and more importantly I wished for the courage to let it happen to me again and this time, to recognize it, accept it and not overanalyze it to death.

So, in lieu of that, I placed another personal ad online. And I put some pictures with it. And I got several emails this morning...and I've decided I'll email responses back to at least three and see where it goes.

Talking while Drunk...there's a law about this right?

Alcohol or liquid courage, as I like to think of it has an interesting way of making me philosophical.

I made my debut Fridy night into the world of dating philosophers, during the surprise birthday party the Nots planned for me.

Here are some of the questions I was left pondering before I tried to strip out of my party pants and passed out in blissful birthday liquored up confusion...

Why are we (both male and female alike) so terrified of giving just a little in a relationship? or why do we give so much? Where's the happy medium? is it like a Happy Meal at McD's you can only get one if you're a kid?

During what NotCharlotte has termed my *NotSkippylogue* I realized that I gave way too much power to someone who wasn't giving anything back. I've also had relationships where I've given too little. And now I'm left craving the happy medium meal.

So I'm hoping that third times the charm and I'll give just enough and get just enough and well...I'll let the guy worry about his own drunkenly discovered neuroses!

Maybe

Met with NotDavid1 tonight (does not get a real name until deserves it). Have decided that I am in fact a "first impression" kind of girl. This first impression was not good.

Have realized that NotDavid2 gives GOOD email.

Had a good time with two of the Nots(Samantha and Miranda, respectively), at our favorite NotPlace, trying not to hit on the cute waiter. I am still waiting for him to call.

Lots to do tomorrow, let's hope I don't go crazy.

Breaking The E-Ice!

So a few days ago a friend asked me to check out her online dating profile to see how it looked. Well, those online dating sites are pretty smart because in order to view her profile, I have to join. And after putting stats like my email and name in I figured, "What the hell?" and added a hott picture and completed my page.

So, all of a sudden I am in the online dating world.


And what happens? A GUY I USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH FOUND ME! Great, just great. So then I feel the need to write to him to break the e-ice because even though HE is the one who found ME, I'm worried he's going to think I'm a loser for being on there. (Not that online dating is bad...it's not, I just don't think it's for me.)

However, as a silver lining to having my profile out there: Tons of hott guys have been checking out my profile! I'm not going to lie, it is totally rocking my self confidence. I was worried when my first "wink" was also my friend's first "wink" but his creepy profile is long lost now in my list of men who have "viewed me." I'm going to wait to see what my ex-friend says back but I'm not sure how long I can stay on that site.



Don't forget to vote for your favorite Not post for our One-Year Anniversary!

All of these Not names are clouding my feeble mind

I can't believe we've been blogging for a year over here at No Sex & the City. NotSamantha hit upon the idea that it would be fun to have people nominate their favorite Not posts. Hell, I'd like to take it a step farther and ask that everyone (1) nominate your favorite Not post from the past year (don't fear the archives) and (2) send us a link to a favorite dating/relationship/single life story from your own site. You can post links to your favorites in the comments or shoot me an email. There aren't any prizes for participation, but we thought it would be useful to reminisce and to also hear people's stories from their sites. I keep hearing we learn from our past, so why not walk down memory lane.

In order to kick it off, each of the Nots spent some time perusing our posts over the past year and each picking three of our favorites. I can't speak for the other girls, but reading those posts really made it clear how much we've all grown and even what issues we still need to work through. It was nice to be able to chuckle as I remembered the great Sex Spy gig of 2005 and to realize all of the Not names we had to make up. We still have trouble keeping some of them straight. Anyway, check out our favorites and remember to send us links to the ones you enjoyed!

NotCarrie
Just Put Your Lips Together And...
Circles and Squares
Lay Into Me

NotCharlotte
We'll Show Each Other Where It Hurts
Reason #551 That I Will Never Be a Lesbian
The Land of Wine and Roses...

NotMiranda
I'm a Sex Spy, Baby.
The Winding Road to Smitten
Addicted

NotSamantha
Face the Nation or Why I Wear the Mask
Chick Lit Is Not a Square of Candy-Coated Gum
Ten Commandments of Me