Af-KEG-istan

Over the weekend the Nots and I helped everyone celebrate their 21st birthdays all over again. There was a keg, of Yuengling hereby known as "Das Keg."
We only drank about half of it because the party ended early. Because, well, we were hammered. There were keg stands, Never Have I Evers, robot cupcakes, and lots of crazy flirting going on.
But I digress.
What does one do with half a keg? Specifically, half a keg that has been sitting in one of our friends' living rooms since Saturday night, with the tap still in it?

That's right kids, you drink it.

A select number of individuals came to my house last night in order to "Kick the Keg." NotCarrie, me, NotGraceful, NotCurly, and a new person, NotVeryMature (who was invited simply because she had retrieved said keg) sat on my deck, feet on the bucket holding the keg and played games like Chug the Jug, Flip Cup, and Beer Pong. The beer was slightly flat, but still tasted alright, especially once it was chilled enough. The sky darkened early, especially for 7pm, when we started on Das Keg. It was 9pm when we were drunk off our asses, smoking 15 cigarettes at a time and taking inappropriate pictures. At a certain point in the evening, NotVeryMature decided to start throwing up everywhere and spent the rest of the evening either in my bathroom or leaning over the balcony, spewing her brains out. Lightweight.

Beer drunk is completely different, in my opinion, than liquor drunk. I got a buzz a helluva lot faster than when I drink my staple rum & coke and it seems to stay with me a lot longer. As the pictures proved, our inhibitions ran rampant as we viewed photos of pantless, boxer-clad skinny boys, massively close group hugs, and artsy shots of Das Keg at varying angles and exposures.

I wish I could say the rest of the evening was uneventful, but it wasn't. Most everyone left around midnight and after shoving the empty keg into NotVeryMature's car and saying goodbye to everyone, I found myself across the street, walking my dog and having a very interesting phone conversation with NotGraceful. After going to his house and having NotVM follow him home, he calls me and for the next 15 minutes we discuss reasons as to why he should come over.
He finally does, after saying "You'd better be ready to do whatever I want..." pretty much like he does every time.
This, of course, excites me in my drunken stupor and I try not to fall asleep while I wait for him to come over.
He finally does and we make idle chatter in my basement, watching random reality television, then he turns to me, pulls me on top of him and proceeds to...
I'll leave details out, but it was good and I was satisfied (and we didn't bone). I backed off of him and see that he's still ready for something good so I help him out a little manually.
This appears to upset him, so I ask what he wants me to do. He sputters the word "mouth" and I start to balk. I associate oral sex with "taking it to the next level," aka "being more intimate than laying vertical on a couch with the lights on."
He notices this. Proceeds to get perturbed.
He then goes on a tangent, spouting out sentences that really made me glad I hadn't gone for it. He says things that include "you're so young" and "what do you want, a relationship?" and my personal favorite, "I guess this makes me an asshole then, huh?"
This was all said with half closed eyes, still laying on the couch, pants unzipped and belt on the floor.
All I can do is shake my head at him. He gets up, gathers his belongings, and pretty much storms out of my house.
Leaving his guitar. If any of you have a use for an acoustic guitar missing the top string, let me know. Or, if you have any good ideas as to how I could dispose of it, let me know as well.

I know some of you are like "jeez, finally NotCharlotte, you learned your lesson!"
I think my Not ladies understand my predicament, and why I kept coming back to him for late night rendezvous. Hell, I had even made out with him on NotCurly's deck the weekend before.

But no more! I need to stop analyzing it over and over again and just drop it. I would say I'd do the "out of sight, out of mind" thing, however we both hang out with the same people and the next few weeks provide plenty of opportunity for interpersonal exchanges that involve alcohol, getting drunk, and celebrating graduations.

I think the only way to resolve this is for me to get really drunk and punch him.