Thursday, January 11, 2007
Bid Wars
Ladies, head on over to The Not Girls Charity Auction and pick up a man in the name of charity. Get your bid on!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I never promised you a rose garden
This is going to be a long post, and you probably won’t read it. I don’t really care. I’m writing this for me because I have to get it all out somewhere. This is 6-8 months worth of posts, people. This is the story of NotGeorge.
Maybe you’ll recall several months ago that NotGeorge appeared on my list of crushes. What started out in a “typical” blogger relationship, reading each other’s posts and commenting, developed into an online friendship. We began instant messaging each other and talking on the phone. There would be times I’d look up at the clock and realize we had been talking for 6 hours without pause. When a bottle of wine was involved, we would jokingly refer to these as “dates”. There was the obligatory exchange of pictures and my declaration that we were just friends. Still, there was minor flirting on both parts, and he wormed his way in. My crush developed. This is someone I would talk to every day. He got in, made it past my firewall.
There were warning signs that I think I wanted to ignore. Despite the flirting, this was no relationship. He made mention of other women, and I was busy kissing him and him. Eventually the inevitable happened, and a job interview brought him to DC and a weekend with me. As it got closer and closer to our actual meeting, I confessed I had developed a bit of a crush and was tired of hearing of these other potential women, particularly the body builder*. We had what I think was a frank discussion on the potential chemistry we may or may not have, and I began to get nervous about actually meeting him.
Meeting any fellow blogger for the first time is unnerving, but imagine meeting one you had developed a bit of a fondness for. I felt like I was being forced to take a midterm I couldn’t study for. Waiting to face someone at the airport who is supposed to stay with you for the next four days is unnerving. Oh wait, did I say supposed to stay with me? The first wrench in what could have been a smooth meeting was tossed in by me. Circumstances outside of my control dictated that he couldn’t stay at my apartment, so rather than tell him about it in advance, I arranged other accommodations. This is not the kind of information to wait to impart to someone you just met and that has just stepped off an airplane. It’s something I’m still living down.
Once we got past the fact that he would be staying in a motel, the weekend went ok. I was definitely a bundle of nerves that first night, but the first full day was better. After his first round of interviews, we met up for some legal reception and later his friend for drinks. Alcohol definitely helped the cause, putting everyone more at ease. Honestly, at this point I was still trying to figure out if we had “it” but was thinking maybe we did. Nerves made my emotions so difficult to sort out.
That night I stayed at the motel with him, and talk about awkward. I had no idea what to do with myself (no…not like that). I was supposed to be the aggressive one. That’s the way our online conversations played out, but how can you be sexually aggressive with someone you’ve just met. I guess you can’t really if you’re me. What ensued was quirky at worst, sweet at best. There was the back scratching thing**, the minor wrestling thing, and the cuddling/spooning/trying to sleep thing.
Stress levels were back up the next day because my birthday party was that night, and he was going to meet a good number of my friends, including all of the Not girls and some of the characters like NotGraceful*** and NotBeast***. To keep this as short as possible, let’s just say that on my birthday I got drunk, became obsessed with NotSamantha’s flogger and made a number of sloppy passes and the statement, “I don’t want to want you.”****
I woke that Sunday morning to be told that he was glad I (the sober, sane one) was back and that he had started not to like me last night. Despite hearing I’d made such an ass of myself, what ensued was an endearing day of napping and talking on the couch with some Amazing Race that night. At one point, NotGeorge shoots me a look and when asked what it was for, he says he is considering jumping me. When I ask why he doesn’t, the subject is changed. A bit later I look at him and tell him I want him to kiss me. His response is that part of him wants to kiss me, too. I ask about the part that doesn’t and what ensues is a confusing conversation about his being afraid if we took that next step we’d eventually lose the friendship and closeness that we have. In spite of the conversation, kissing did occur, and I’m really having a hard time describing it. Was there the chemistry that told my brain I’d die if he ever stopped kissing me? No. It was nice…and sweet…and I could have gone on kissing him for a long time. However, I sensed him holding back.
As I was driving him to the airport the next morning, I had wrapped my mind around the fact that we were destined for friends-only territory and had already decided it would be a goodbye hug at the airport. And then he kisses me goodbye. When I return the kiss somewhat platonically, his response is, “that’s all?” We kiss again with a bit more passion, and I say something about the fact that I think I’m going to miss him. I surprise myself by shedding a tear as I drive away.
At this point, I’m completely confused and becoming a total girl. Wtf? Are we friends? Are we more than friends? Rather than confronting this issue head on, I do what any girl would do…I analyze…and analyze. He’s back at home and things go somewhat back to normal. I think that perhaps I’ll see him when I go home for the holidays and things will get sorted out then. In the meantime, we continue to chat online and on the phone.
Flash forward a couple of weeks, and I get an email asking if I would be willing to drive from Austin to San Francisco with him and help him move after Christmas. Always up for an adventure, I agree. In a follow-up email, he writes this (among other things):
“We could spend a romantic new year’s eve in some motel! J”
What? Was he joking? My stomach flipped a little and the girl in me thought maybe. The warning signs were still there, though. I should have been taking off the rose-colored glasses and busting out a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. There were comments like, “I wish I had a girlfriend to…” I knew clarity had to be gained on the road to San Francisco.
(This post is really too long. Sorry!)
So, two weeks ago I travel to Austin and set out to help this man move from Austin to San Francisco and see a little bit of the country in the process. Moving is stressful, but it’s been a while since I’ve fought with someone as much as we bickered at the beginning of that trip. He would get frustrated and bark at me, putting me on edge and making me get snippy back. We weren’t communicating or were (quite literally) not hearing what the other person was saying. I sobbed that first night after a misunderstanding***** that had us sleeping in separate cars at a truck stop in Van Horn, TX.
On the road the next day, I knew we needed to talk (and soon). I, at least, had to clear up the whole relationship issue. That night we stopped for sushi in Phoenix, and I decided to strike******. I brought up the airport and explained how it completely threw me, how I had been ready to be ok with friends and that it made me think and hope there was something more. He reasoned that (1) it was just a kiss; (2) after such an intense weekend, it had felt appropriate; and (3) he had also been a bit confused at the time. I think I made it clear that I don’t kiss my friends or sleep/cuddle with my friends. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when he responded by saying if he had wanted to be more than friends, he would have felt me up. Hmmm…insulted. This was turning into a positive trip. Once back on the road, I kept thinking I should cry, that I should be more upset. It didn’t happen though. Maybe the stress of our arguing had drained me of any emotion. Maybe I just wasn’t that into him. I don’t know. That brings us to this post.
(This is where I play amateur psychologist.)
There was more tension, more stress, but things did get better, especially once the moving and unpacking were done. We were more open about what frustrated us in the other. The days that followed were sightseeing and domestic errands. It’s odd how quickly you can lull yourself into a routine. I found myself developing a deeper bond of friendship with him through everything we had gone through. There were moments like New Year’s Eve when I wanted to kiss or walking down the street when it would have been nice to hold hands, but in general, it moved beyond that. On the way to the airport on Thursday, I had to bite my lip to keep from crying, managing not to cry until I was on the plane. While I had wanted to bail at different points in the trip, I was truly sad to go home. Leaving was hard, and it’s up to me to figure out why. Why did I feel a little incomplete that first day back? Why am I not angry at some of the things he said or the way the situation turned out? Why does a small part of me still want to make out with him?
*His story, not mine.
**His story, not mine.
***Both of whom happen to be in the charity auction.
****I did want to want him. I just didn’t want to want him if he didn’t want me.
*****The misunderstanding wasn’t the cause of us sleeping at a truck stop, but I don’t want to write the sentence differently.
******So the wrong word, since it took me forever to get out, and I basically reverted back to my 12 year old self.
Maybe you’ll recall several months ago that NotGeorge appeared on my list of crushes. What started out in a “typical” blogger relationship, reading each other’s posts and commenting, developed into an online friendship. We began instant messaging each other and talking on the phone. There would be times I’d look up at the clock and realize we had been talking for 6 hours without pause. When a bottle of wine was involved, we would jokingly refer to these as “dates”. There was the obligatory exchange of pictures and my declaration that we were just friends. Still, there was minor flirting on both parts, and he wormed his way in. My crush developed. This is someone I would talk to every day. He got in, made it past my firewall.
There were warning signs that I think I wanted to ignore. Despite the flirting, this was no relationship. He made mention of other women, and I was busy kissing him and him. Eventually the inevitable happened, and a job interview brought him to DC and a weekend with me. As it got closer and closer to our actual meeting, I confessed I had developed a bit of a crush and was tired of hearing of these other potential women, particularly the body builder*. We had what I think was a frank discussion on the potential chemistry we may or may not have, and I began to get nervous about actually meeting him.
Meeting any fellow blogger for the first time is unnerving, but imagine meeting one you had developed a bit of a fondness for. I felt like I was being forced to take a midterm I couldn’t study for. Waiting to face someone at the airport who is supposed to stay with you for the next four days is unnerving. Oh wait, did I say supposed to stay with me? The first wrench in what could have been a smooth meeting was tossed in by me. Circumstances outside of my control dictated that he couldn’t stay at my apartment, so rather than tell him about it in advance, I arranged other accommodations. This is not the kind of information to wait to impart to someone you just met and that has just stepped off an airplane. It’s something I’m still living down.
Once we got past the fact that he would be staying in a motel, the weekend went ok. I was definitely a bundle of nerves that first night, but the first full day was better. After his first round of interviews, we met up for some legal reception and later his friend for drinks. Alcohol definitely helped the cause, putting everyone more at ease. Honestly, at this point I was still trying to figure out if we had “it” but was thinking maybe we did. Nerves made my emotions so difficult to sort out.
That night I stayed at the motel with him, and talk about awkward. I had no idea what to do with myself (no…not like that). I was supposed to be the aggressive one. That’s the way our online conversations played out, but how can you be sexually aggressive with someone you’ve just met. I guess you can’t really if you’re me. What ensued was quirky at worst, sweet at best. There was the back scratching thing**, the minor wrestling thing, and the cuddling/spooning/trying to sleep thing.
Stress levels were back up the next day because my birthday party was that night, and he was going to meet a good number of my friends, including all of the Not girls and some of the characters like NotGraceful*** and NotBeast***. To keep this as short as possible, let’s just say that on my birthday I got drunk, became obsessed with NotSamantha’s flogger and made a number of sloppy passes and the statement, “I don’t want to want you.”****
I woke that Sunday morning to be told that he was glad I (the sober, sane one) was back and that he had started not to like me last night. Despite hearing I’d made such an ass of myself, what ensued was an endearing day of napping and talking on the couch with some Amazing Race that night. At one point, NotGeorge shoots me a look and when asked what it was for, he says he is considering jumping me. When I ask why he doesn’t, the subject is changed. A bit later I look at him and tell him I want him to kiss me. His response is that part of him wants to kiss me, too. I ask about the part that doesn’t and what ensues is a confusing conversation about his being afraid if we took that next step we’d eventually lose the friendship and closeness that we have. In spite of the conversation, kissing did occur, and I’m really having a hard time describing it. Was there the chemistry that told my brain I’d die if he ever stopped kissing me? No. It was nice…and sweet…and I could have gone on kissing him for a long time. However, I sensed him holding back.
As I was driving him to the airport the next morning, I had wrapped my mind around the fact that we were destined for friends-only territory and had already decided it would be a goodbye hug at the airport. And then he kisses me goodbye. When I return the kiss somewhat platonically, his response is, “that’s all?” We kiss again with a bit more passion, and I say something about the fact that I think I’m going to miss him. I surprise myself by shedding a tear as I drive away.
At this point, I’m completely confused and becoming a total girl. Wtf? Are we friends? Are we more than friends? Rather than confronting this issue head on, I do what any girl would do…I analyze…and analyze. He’s back at home and things go somewhat back to normal. I think that perhaps I’ll see him when I go home for the holidays and things will get sorted out then. In the meantime, we continue to chat online and on the phone.
Flash forward a couple of weeks, and I get an email asking if I would be willing to drive from Austin to San Francisco with him and help him move after Christmas. Always up for an adventure, I agree. In a follow-up email, he writes this (among other things):
“We could spend a romantic new year’s eve in some motel! J”
What? Was he joking? My stomach flipped a little and the girl in me thought maybe. The warning signs were still there, though. I should have been taking off the rose-colored glasses and busting out a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. There were comments like, “I wish I had a girlfriend to…” I knew clarity had to be gained on the road to San Francisco.
(This post is really too long. Sorry!)
So, two weeks ago I travel to Austin and set out to help this man move from Austin to San Francisco and see a little bit of the country in the process. Moving is stressful, but it’s been a while since I’ve fought with someone as much as we bickered at the beginning of that trip. He would get frustrated and bark at me, putting me on edge and making me get snippy back. We weren’t communicating or were (quite literally) not hearing what the other person was saying. I sobbed that first night after a misunderstanding***** that had us sleeping in separate cars at a truck stop in Van Horn, TX.
On the road the next day, I knew we needed to talk (and soon). I, at least, had to clear up the whole relationship issue. That night we stopped for sushi in Phoenix, and I decided to strike******. I brought up the airport and explained how it completely threw me, how I had been ready to be ok with friends and that it made me think and hope there was something more. He reasoned that (1) it was just a kiss; (2) after such an intense weekend, it had felt appropriate; and (3) he had also been a bit confused at the time. I think I made it clear that I don’t kiss my friends or sleep/cuddle with my friends. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when he responded by saying if he had wanted to be more than friends, he would have felt me up. Hmmm…insulted. This was turning into a positive trip. Once back on the road, I kept thinking I should cry, that I should be more upset. It didn’t happen though. Maybe the stress of our arguing had drained me of any emotion. Maybe I just wasn’t that into him. I don’t know. That brings us to this post.
(This is where I play amateur psychologist.)
There was more tension, more stress, but things did get better, especially once the moving and unpacking were done. We were more open about what frustrated us in the other. The days that followed were sightseeing and domestic errands. It’s odd how quickly you can lull yourself into a routine. I found myself developing a deeper bond of friendship with him through everything we had gone through. There were moments like New Year’s Eve when I wanted to kiss or walking down the street when it would have been nice to hold hands, but in general, it moved beyond that. On the way to the airport on Thursday, I had to bite my lip to keep from crying, managing not to cry until I was on the plane. While I had wanted to bail at different points in the trip, I was truly sad to go home. Leaving was hard, and it’s up to me to figure out why. Why did I feel a little incomplete that first day back? Why am I not angry at some of the things he said or the way the situation turned out? Why does a small part of me still want to make out with him?
*His story, not mine.
**His story, not mine.
***Both of whom happen to be in the charity auction.
****I did want to want him. I just didn’t want to want him if he didn’t want me.
*****The misunderstanding wasn’t the cause of us sleeping at a truck stop, but I don’t want to write the sentence differently.
******So the wrong word, since it took me forever to get out, and I basically reverted back to my 12 year old self.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Renew Years
While I was traipsing across the country this past week, plans were being hatched to redo New Year's Eve with me present. So, feet firmly planted on the ground in Virginia, NotCharlotte, NotCarrie and a host of other characters whisked me off to the quaint town of Fredericksburg to a bar that feels like home. What transpired was truly another quintessential "Fred" night. We quickly picked up a couple of guys to add spice to the evening and hopefully provide the midnight kisses for our "renew" year's celebration. One was a friend of NotCarrie's, NotDreds, and the other we'll call NotShy. NotShy quickly ingratiated himself to the Nots by telling us how hott we were and offering to round up a bevy of boys for our choosing. Unfortunately, NotShy proceeded to hit up the sketchiest of patrons as we tried to shrink into the shadows. Several drinks later, NotShy still continued to entertain us by dancing, taking our pictures, etc. Things got hilarious when he hung a dollar out of his pants and told me it was my mission to find someone to get it. I'm such a bad friend because the first thing I did was gesture to NotCharlotte and tell him I'd try the blonde. Turns out NotCarrie isn't that great of friend either because we both hazed NotCharlotte until she used her pearly whites to grab that dollar. Yes, I did catch it all on film. NotShy must have suffered from some kind of Cinderella syndrome though because he completely disappeared a few minutes before the witching hour. Seriously, he vanished. Was he a figment of our hyped up imaginations? Perhaps he was just bummed he lost his last dollar to NotCharlotte.
Want to find someone new to celebrate your own Renew Year's with? Want to help out a worthy cause? Bid on one of our eligible bachelors in the first Not Girls Charity Auction. Browse the goods here*, and come back January 11-13 to put your money where your mouth is.
*Like the site? It's all the handy work of Dan. Web designers turn you on? He's up on the auction block on come January 11!
Want to find someone new to celebrate your own Renew Year's with? Want to help out a worthy cause? Bid on one of our eligible bachelors in the first Not Girls Charity Auction. Browse the goods here*, and come back January 11-13 to put your money where your mouth is.
*Like the site? It's all the handy work of Dan. Web designers turn you on? He's up on the auction block on come January 11!
Friday, January 05, 2007
Secret Sharer
I've been hooking up with NotGraceful for the past 2 months. Since our fateful night at the Halloween party, we've discovered more of each other than sequins on David Bowie's pants. These are all alcohol-induced hookups, which makes me realize that perhaps there's nothing to them. Of course, me being a girl, I've been tending to think otherwise.
How is someone to know the status of a hookup? Are there rules? Am I, for example, expected to "forget" each night and treat each new one as just that? It's very hard to do that when both parties remember what the other one likes.
I wish I could go into more detail, but I'm not, for fear that he reads this. If that's the case, then so be it. Let's figure this out, either way, so I can stop overanalyzing it.
Readers, I need advice.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Creating Opportunities For Love
A friend of mine has a 2007 goal to fall in love. My first thought was You can't make someone fall in love with you, but then I thought Why not? It's not about taking over someone's mind and forcing them to have feelings for you, it's about making things happen, which TA-DA, is one of my things to remember to do this year.
For example, how likely is it to fall in love while sitting at home watching Netflix movies? Hmmmm, not very likely, eh? How likely is it to fall in love while being antisocial at a party? A little more likely only because other people are involved, but how many guys want to talk to the girl in the corner?
I think the 2007 Fall In Love goal is completely feasible if looked at from the mindset of creating the opportunites to fall in love and for others to fall in love with me. I think it's about being out there and being myself and being absolutely fabulous. Who wouldn't want to fall in love with me? I just need to give them the opportunity!
I love 2007 already!
For example, how likely is it to fall in love while sitting at home watching Netflix movies? Hmmmm, not very likely, eh? How likely is it to fall in love while being antisocial at a party? A little more likely only because other people are involved, but how many guys want to talk to the girl in the corner?
I think the 2007 Fall In Love goal is completely feasible if looked at from the mindset of creating the opportunites to fall in love and for others to fall in love with me. I think it's about being out there and being myself and being absolutely fabulous. Who wouldn't want to fall in love with me? I just need to give them the opportunity!
I love 2007 already!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Hello, Two Double Oh Seven
I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, but since this is my alter-ego of sorts, I'm going to make some. New Years Eve was a lot of fun and since I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting to know what happened I'll tell you. I didn't have a kiss as hott as some recent years, but I'm not complaining about the cheek kisses I did give and receive. I also had a lot of fun and woke up the next day feeling okay both physically and emotionally as I knew I had not done anything to be embarassed by. And isn't that just as good as kissing some strange person? I mean, even better. Ha!
Onto the things I would like to keep in mind in Two Double Oh Seven:
1. Not that I get a lot of date invitations, but I want to be more open to the idea of new people.I think I am definitely the type to build a relationship from a friendship, which is something I should probably expand upon. There are gazillions of people out there and I need to not be afraid of encountering them in a romantic setting.
2. I don't want to let other people's negative moods to affect me. Sometimes it's like a club to join or something, but it's more important for me to remain positive. I'm an optimist, I really am. No negativity!
3. Floss more.
4. I won't wait to see what happens. I will try my best to make things happen.
5. I will not come home from my cousin's wedding without finding a fiance of my own.
Okay, kidding on #5. I might add to this later, but this is my concise list for the moment. Things to keep in mind.
Onto the things I would like to keep in mind in Two Double Oh Seven:
1. Not that I get a lot of date invitations, but I want to be more open to the idea of new people.I think I am definitely the type to build a relationship from a friendship, which is something I should probably expand upon. There are gazillions of people out there and I need to not be afraid of encountering them in a romantic setting.
2. I don't want to let other people's negative moods to affect me. Sometimes it's like a club to join or something, but it's more important for me to remain positive. I'm an optimist, I really am. No negativity!
3. Floss more.
4. I won't wait to see what happens. I will try my best to make things happen.
5. I will not come home from my cousin's wedding without finding a fiance of my own.
Okay, kidding on #5. I might add to this later, but this is my concise list for the moment. Things to keep in mind.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Cherry Stems
I just told NotCharlotte that I am going to stand around tomorrow night tying cherries stems into knots using only my tongue so the guys in the room know I mean midnight business. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a prude bitch who isn't into the New Years lip-locking festivities because I so am.
I most certainly do not believe in the silly belief that the midnight kiss determines one's luck in love for the next year, but I do believe in the awkwardness that can be created when it seems like everyone else has paired up. I hate that. And really, it's never happened that everyone around me has paired up and I'm left standing there in what I wish would turn into quick sand to swallow me up. Although, if I'm looking on the bright side of things, which I am, I could say that there are two things in this world that I love: champagne and kissing and if I can't be guaranteed the one, I'm going to go all out with the other. Bubbly for me...yes, have some.
Have a super fantastic New Years!!!!
I most certainly do not believe in the silly belief that the midnight kiss determines one's luck in love for the next year, but I do believe in the awkwardness that can be created when it seems like everyone else has paired up. I hate that. And really, it's never happened that everyone around me has paired up and I'm left standing there in what I wish would turn into quick sand to swallow me up. Although, if I'm looking on the bright side of things, which I am, I could say that there are two things in this world that I love: champagne and kissing and if I can't be guaranteed the one, I'm going to go all out with the other. Bubbly for me...yes, have some.
Have a super fantastic New Years!!!!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Muddying the waters
I don't even really know where to begin. I could begin at the beginning, but that could take awhile and time is not on my side. Soon, my pretties. Right now...a preview. I'm traveling across the southwest with a man my mother is afraid I'm boning. She has little to worry about because clarity has finally been achieved in what was once muddy waters. There will be no boning on this trip. No kissing, no spooning, no cuddling. I was ok with this until I looked at his back last night in bed. Right then I just wanted someone's arms around me, telling me it would be ok.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Frankie Says Relax
If you are anything like me, you are anxiously awaiting the start of our auction, and I promise you, it's coming! Actually it's coming up pretty quickly so calm down on the after-Christmas sales so you'll have the dinero ready to bid on some of the awesome guys we have for you chicas out there. Right now the Nots are all still busy with family and friends and our many jobs. I have a feeling that New Years Eve will inspire a post from all of us and after that it will be time for the auction so, keep checking back in and we'll get the details out asap.
In the meantine, what are your NYE plans? I'm still unsure of mine and right now I'm on the fence with going out and not drinking at all so I can get home or planning to spend the night out. If there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it's that I'm not drinking a drop if I plan on getting in a car to drive. The cops are going to be out in full force that night and with other crazies on the road, it will be essential to be uber-alert. Now, with that in mind, I'm still sure to have a grand evening with friends so no worries there. What are you guys going to be up to?
In the meantine, what are your NYE plans? I'm still unsure of mine and right now I'm on the fence with going out and not drinking at all so I can get home or planning to spend the night out. If there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it's that I'm not drinking a drop if I plan on getting in a car to drive. The cops are going to be out in full force that night and with other crazies on the road, it will be essential to be uber-alert. Now, with that in mind, I'm still sure to have a grand evening with friends so no worries there. What are you guys going to be up to?
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Poppin Fresh
Recently, I have acquired a new job at a bakery. I absolutely love it because it not only gives me baking experience for when I own my own bakery one day, but this new place of employment has a plethora of hot men.
I have decided to find me a bakery boyfriend. I have a few in mind already and have already started to make my move. The bakery manager is a 26 year old tall drink of hottness and every chance I get, I make witty comments and flash a patented "notcharlotte smile" his way. Sadly, I have to go by facial features only, as our pure white uniforms do nothing for the female figure. During the times I realize that boning/flirting with managers is a big no-no, I mosey on over to the bread section, where the biggest concentration of highly attractive males lies. I work at 5am and there's nothing like sleepily stumbling over to the men kneading the big balls of dough and asking them to get something for me that's "just too high for me to get."
I think I've started roping a couple in. Just the other day, I was invited into an interesting conversation about music and its' relationship to emotions as I was making my way to the freezer.
Just call me the bakery whore. I just hope I can recognize who's who when I see them without their uniforms on...
Do any of you have work "boyfriends/girlfriends?" Doesn't it make work a slight bit more bearable?
I have decided to find me a bakery boyfriend. I have a few in mind already and have already started to make my move. The bakery manager is a 26 year old tall drink of hottness and every chance I get, I make witty comments and flash a patented "notcharlotte smile" his way. Sadly, I have to go by facial features only, as our pure white uniforms do nothing for the female figure. During the times I realize that boning/flirting with managers is a big no-no, I mosey on over to the bread section, where the biggest concentration of highly attractive males lies. I work at 5am and there's nothing like sleepily stumbling over to the men kneading the big balls of dough and asking them to get something for me that's "just too high for me to get."
I think I've started roping a couple in. Just the other day, I was invited into an interesting conversation about music and its' relationship to emotions as I was making my way to the freezer.
Just call me the bakery whore. I just hope I can recognize who's who when I see them without their uniforms on...
Do any of you have work "boyfriends/girlfriends?" Doesn't it make work a slight bit more bearable?
Visions Of Sugarplums Were So Not Dancing In My Head
Last night, while everyone else was dreaming of sugarplums and Sandy Claws, I was having one helluva dream about the most unlikely person. Without reading into who this dream was about (don't even ask), I must comment on how perfect it was plot-wise. I had a level of comfort in the dream that is something I think most of us are looking for. Even though I am now getting some of the details blurred, I remember he and I going on a short trip and taking opportunities when they arose to steal kisses. It was so sweet. I woke up feeling a little bad about having such a dream on Christmas Eve, when I should have been dreaming about what I would find in my stocking and under the tree, or really, I guess, about peace on Earth and good will to men, right? Ha!
And I know I'm being a bit secretive about who I was dreaming about, but it left me seriously perplexed when I woke up. 1) While I used to have a crush on this person, I no longer do, nor have I in awhile. 2) He's not the type to be in a situation that involves "sweet kisses."
I left the dream dictionary alone on this one and instead went about my day having a very merry Christmas and spending time with the family. I hope you had a good one, too.
And I know I'm being a bit secretive about who I was dreaming about, but it left me seriously perplexed when I woke up. 1) While I used to have a crush on this person, I no longer do, nor have I in awhile. 2) He's not the type to be in a situation that involves "sweet kisses."
I left the dream dictionary alone on this one and instead went about my day having a very merry Christmas and spending time with the family. I hope you had a good one, too.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
This Charming Man
I went out the other night to meet up with my college friend, NotCharming, and some other people I know through him. I always look forward to nights out with him because he really does live up to his name as he is one of the most charming people I know. He's the type of guy who will know everyone in the room, but you still feel like you're his #1 there.
We have an interesting history. It's gone from barely knowing each other, to me having a weird, big crush on him (during college), to use flirting incessantly, to him asking me to bone, to us becoming good friends. He lives out of the state now, so I don't get as much of his charming personality as I would like, but I always make sure to meet up when he is home for holidays.
The other night was weird, though, at karoake. His ex-girlfriend was there and I got the feeling he's still into her. She was cute and all, but she was one of those Professional Karoake-ers-you know who I mean. The ones who sing with vibrato, do dance moves, and always choose the songs that will best showcase their 'voices', ha! The one time I did karoake, I sang Bootylicious in a redneck bar in the southside of Richmond. It was God-awful and as soon as the song was done, I set down the microphone and left the bar.
I, surprisingly, have never kissed NotCharming. In the almost seven years I have known him, I can't believe this fact. There's just something in the stars that always puts some weird clause on us when we're hanging out even though the flirting has gotten pretty crazy at times. I'm not saying I want to or expect to ever have something with him, it's just weird nothing has ever happened. He's a good friend, though, and I am glad for that.
We have an interesting history. It's gone from barely knowing each other, to me having a weird, big crush on him (during college), to use flirting incessantly, to him asking me to bone, to us becoming good friends. He lives out of the state now, so I don't get as much of his charming personality as I would like, but I always make sure to meet up when he is home for holidays.
The other night was weird, though, at karoake. His ex-girlfriend was there and I got the feeling he's still into her. She was cute and all, but she was one of those Professional Karoake-ers-you know who I mean. The ones who sing with vibrato, do dance moves, and always choose the songs that will best showcase their 'voices', ha! The one time I did karoake, I sang Bootylicious in a redneck bar in the southside of Richmond. It was God-awful and as soon as the song was done, I set down the microphone and left the bar.
I, surprisingly, have never kissed NotCharming. In the almost seven years I have known him, I can't believe this fact. There's just something in the stars that always puts some weird clause on us when we're hanging out even though the flirting has gotten pretty crazy at times. I'm not saying I want to or expect to ever have something with him, it's just weird nothing has ever happened. He's a good friend, though, and I am glad for that.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
The nitty gritty
Alright, boys and girls. I know you've been waiting with bated breath to find out a few more details about our upcoming charity auction. I've included some of the basics below, and as we build out the auction site*, we'll continue to feed you more information and do our best to keep you jazzed. Also, if any of you boys out there still want to volunteer for the auction, it's not to late. Just like Uncle Sam, we need YOU!
What: The Not Girls Charity Auction
Charity: V-Day
When: January 11-13, 2007
Items up for bid: 19 men (12 DC-metro area, 1 LA, 1 SF, 1 Atl, 1 Chicago, 1 UK, 1 NYC, 1 AR)
Ladies, it's quite a nice selection we've amassed, so start saving now!
*Special shout out to one of our guys being auctioned who is building it for us! Yay!
What: The Not Girls Charity Auction
Charity: V-Day
When: January 11-13, 2007
Items up for bid: 19 men (12 DC-metro area, 1 LA, 1 SF, 1 Atl, 1 Chicago, 1 UK, 1 NYC, 1 AR)
Ladies, it's quite a nice selection we've amassed, so start saving now!
*Special shout out to one of our guys being auctioned who is building it for us! Yay!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Do You Hear What I Hear?
There have only been a few times that I have been the subject of some salacious gossip. The time the rumor went around that I was found in the downstairs part of a bar with another girl's boyfriend who had his pants down*, the time everyone was talking about what I was or was not doing with NotRoger after parties at his brother's place, and the time my guy friends wouldn't believe that I had not had sex with their friend after giving him a ride home.
It's weird, though, because never have I been in a social circle that gossiped so damn much as the one I am a part of now. I, admittedly and thankfully, provide very little of the info that gets passed around, but I sometimes wonder if it's a sign I'm turning into an old fogie or am just a boring prude. It would be hypocritical of me to say I would never hook up with someone at one of these parties I seem to never be able to go to, but I cringe sometimes when I hear the stories of the night before. It makes me glad to have spend the same night sober and with no one's tongue but my own in my mouth. Is it a phase I outgrew? Is it a sign I'm just looking for more than random kisses? I'm not sure, but until I figure it all out, I'm going to continue staying OFF the gossip radar. What I do is no one's business but my own...and you guys, of course.
*We only madeout and I had NO idea he had a girlfriend I swear to Allah. All pants remained ON the entire time.
It's weird, though, because never have I been in a social circle that gossiped so damn much as the one I am a part of now. I, admittedly and thankfully, provide very little of the info that gets passed around, but I sometimes wonder if it's a sign I'm turning into an old fogie or am just a boring prude. It would be hypocritical of me to say I would never hook up with someone at one of these parties I seem to never be able to go to, but I cringe sometimes when I hear the stories of the night before. It makes me glad to have spend the same night sober and with no one's tongue but my own in my mouth. Is it a phase I outgrew? Is it a sign I'm just looking for more than random kisses? I'm not sure, but until I figure it all out, I'm going to continue staying OFF the gossip radar. What I do is no one's business but my own...and you guys, of course.
*We only madeout and I had NO idea he had a girlfriend I swear to Allah. All pants remained ON the entire time.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Neologism at its best
A lot of good shit has been going down in my "no sex"life, but since I'm still not sure which end is up, I will defer to a topic that I have been enlightened of while hanging out with my college friends.
Through one of my closer college buddies, NotHarley, I have gotten to know NotKidA. She's a cute 21 year old with short, short hair and a confidence problem. She and her boyfriend of several years recently broke up and she's been after another of our mutual friends, NotBYU. He's a sweetheart and completely clueless about her wanting him.
Last week, we all went to a pub and as I watched the two of them interact, I got the feeling that he just wasn't that into her. Sure, they sat together and she teased him the entire night, he bought her beer, but his attention wasn't fully being paid to her. As my friend said, "He doesn't like her as much as she deserves.
So our evening ends and everyone leaves, except for the two of them. I don't think much of it, but when I talk to NotHarley later, she tells me the two of them (NotKidA and NotBYU) boned.
This sort of shocks me, mostly because I don't know either of them that well and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
NotHarley then goes on to tell me that NotKidA is probably on another one of her Trampages (pronounced like rampage, but with a t in front of it). I look at her quizically and NotHarley tells me that NotKidA, in her freshman year at NotHarvard, slept with pretty much every guy she came across. In other words, a Trampage. I became completely enamoured of this new word and wondered if she was the only one who had come across it. Then at breakfast one morning, I heard another one of my close college friends, NotShortie, use it as well. "So you two didn't bone, even after hanging out for 6 hours and him cooking dinner for you?" "Oh no way, that was before my Trampage."
I have not been on a Trampage yet... but I feel, especially with recent events, that I could be bordering on one. Have any of you been on a Trampage before? I guess for men it would be called a... Manage? hahaha.
Through one of my closer college buddies, NotHarley, I have gotten to know NotKidA. She's a cute 21 year old with short, short hair and a confidence problem. She and her boyfriend of several years recently broke up and she's been after another of our mutual friends, NotBYU. He's a sweetheart and completely clueless about her wanting him.
Last week, we all went to a pub and as I watched the two of them interact, I got the feeling that he just wasn't that into her. Sure, they sat together and she teased him the entire night, he bought her beer, but his attention wasn't fully being paid to her. As my friend said, "He doesn't like her as much as she deserves.
So our evening ends and everyone leaves, except for the two of them. I don't think much of it, but when I talk to NotHarley later, she tells me the two of them (NotKidA and NotBYU) boned.
This sort of shocks me, mostly because I don't know either of them that well and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
NotHarley then goes on to tell me that NotKidA is probably on another one of her Trampages (pronounced like rampage, but with a t in front of it). I look at her quizically and NotHarley tells me that NotKidA, in her freshman year at NotHarvard, slept with pretty much every guy she came across. In other words, a Trampage. I became completely enamoured of this new word and wondered if she was the only one who had come across it. Then at breakfast one morning, I heard another one of my close college friends, NotShortie, use it as well. "So you two didn't bone, even after hanging out for 6 hours and him cooking dinner for you?" "Oh no way, that was before my Trampage."
I have not been on a Trampage yet... but I feel, especially with recent events, that I could be bordering on one. Have any of you been on a Trampage before? I guess for men it would be called a... Manage? hahaha.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
What Makes It A Date?
Have you ever gone out with someone of the opposite sex* and not been sure if it was a date or not? Now, this hasn’t happened to me recently (as far as I know), but recent events got me thinking about it. My friends and I tease all the time about an evening being a date if someone pays for the other or if the male and female sit on the same side of the table. Obviously, these are ludicrous qualifiers for what makes it a date, but what does make it a date?
It’s not exactly customary to request one’s company by saying, “Would you like to spend an evening with me? I have romantic intentions for you.” Sure, it would make for a less ambiguous time, but invitations just don’t go like that. At least, none that I have received. A male friend of mine recently was invited out by a woman and was unsure if the night out was one of old friends or one where a goodnight kiss was expected and hoped for. How was he to have known? Yeah, there are signs to be seen during the evening, like positive body language or eyefucking**, but it’s not always obvious when the question is posed.
I wrote once about going on a non-date with my guy friend and how, from the outside, it looked like we were on a real date. We both knew, though, that we were just hanging out. Another time, years ago, a guy friend of mine invited me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Looking back, I should have known better, but he told me that he had a coupon and needed to use it by its expiration date. Does this sound like a date invitation to you? The night really is material for a blog in itself, but the evening that I thought was just about friends taking advantage of using a coupon turned into him trying to stroke the back of my neck and convince me to come inside.
Whoa, awkward.
So how does a person know when it’s a date and when it’s just two people hanging out as friends? One thing I do know (get ready for shameless plug) is that all dates won in our CHARITY AUCTION (see button in the sidebar to the right), will be properly clarified before they happen.
*Or same sex, if you swing that way.
**I stole that from the lovely Barmaid.
It’s not exactly customary to request one’s company by saying, “Would you like to spend an evening with me? I have romantic intentions for you.” Sure, it would make for a less ambiguous time, but invitations just don’t go like that. At least, none that I have received. A male friend of mine recently was invited out by a woman and was unsure if the night out was one of old friends or one where a goodnight kiss was expected and hoped for. How was he to have known? Yeah, there are signs to be seen during the evening, like positive body language or eyefucking**, but it’s not always obvious when the question is posed.
I wrote once about going on a non-date with my guy friend and how, from the outside, it looked like we were on a real date. We both knew, though, that we were just hanging out. Another time, years ago, a guy friend of mine invited me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Looking back, I should have known better, but he told me that he had a coupon and needed to use it by its expiration date. Does this sound like a date invitation to you? The night really is material for a blog in itself, but the evening that I thought was just about friends taking advantage of using a coupon turned into him trying to stroke the back of my neck and convince me to come inside.
Whoa, awkward.
So how does a person know when it’s a date and when it’s just two people hanging out as friends? One thing I do know (get ready for shameless plug) is that all dates won in our CHARITY AUCTION (see button in the sidebar to the right), will be properly clarified before they happen.
*Or same sex, if you swing that way.
**I stole that from the lovely Barmaid.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
C'mon boys...
I know these are boring posts, and you want details of nights of debauchery. However, this week we're going to be all about the NPR-style of telethoning.
What are we asking for? Ah, how short your memory is. We need single, male volunteers for our charity auction.
Who does it benefit? V-Day, the global organization fighting violence against women. I would also argue it benefits our male volunteers, allowing them to give of themselves, and our potential female bidders, allowing them to also give and buy a date!
Read the original post here, and email notmiranda@gmail.com to volunteer for the auction.
Stay tuned for more details!
What are we asking for? Ah, how short your memory is. We need single, male volunteers for our charity auction.
Who does it benefit? V-Day, the global organization fighting violence against women. I would also argue it benefits our male volunteers, allowing them to give of themselves, and our potential female bidders, allowing them to also give and buy a date!
Read the original post here, and email notmiranda@gmail.com to volunteer for the auction.
Stay tuned for more details!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Budget Bidding
While planning for this auction, I have noticed myself daydreaming about spending all of my money on bids and then traveling around the country going on dates with our male volunteers. I know I was there the day we learned about sharing in Kindergarten, but it’s going to be difficult to remember how to do it once the auction has begun and I am presented with so many attractive choices. I can’t give out many details just yet (they’re coming, though), but, like I said, it’s going to be difficult to hold back. Maybe I should make a budget before the bidding starts.
And guys? We’re still accepting volunteers…It’s for a great cause!
And guys? We’re still accepting volunteers…It’s for a great cause!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Sprung
Sitting down in front of my computer was a dangerous idea on a Saturday night. Rather than working on that proposal my boss was waiting on, I found myself catching up on blogs I love reading. Of course, if my evening had stopped there, then it wouldn't merit a post here. Instead, I dreamt of wireless signals for people far away. Sprung. Googling sprung, I discover I sometimes meet the definition.
Something else I discovered I'm sprung on tonight...Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. Forget that kiss (you know the one I mean). I'm talking about the "speech"...
"I've been married twice before, and I'm a recovering cocaine addict and I know that's no woman's dream of a man or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you want to run, I understand, but you'd better get a good head start because I'm coming for you, Jordan."
That is how you tell a woman you want her. Danny Trip** stole my heart tonight.
**Studio 60, folks. Keep up.
Something else I discovered I'm sprung on tonight...Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. Forget that kiss (you know the one I mean). I'm talking about the "speech"...
"I've been married twice before, and I'm a recovering cocaine addict and I know that's no woman's dream of a man or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you want to run, I understand, but you'd better get a good head start because I'm coming for you, Jordan."
That is how you tell a woman you want her. Danny Trip** stole my heart tonight.
**Studio 60, folks. Keep up.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
'Tis the Season
The holiday season is supposed to be one of giving, helping those less fortunate. Well, the girls here at NSATC have decided that we, too, would like to give this holiday season. It is in the spirit of Christmahanukwanzaakah that the Not girls ask for your help. How so? We are in the process of organizing a charity auction in which the items to be auctioned off are dates with all of those hott, single male readers (commenters and noncommenters alike). One thing we've gathered in blogging here is that there are a lot of single men and women out there just trying to figure out how to hook up*. What better way to spread love, introduce you all to new people and raise money for charity than to hold an auction?! Guys...this is where your help comes in. We need all you single, male readers out there to volunteer to be put up on the auction block. Think of all of the benefits of selling yourself like a piece of meat: (1) giving to a good cause; (2) the opportunity to meet a potentially cool girl; and (3) an ego boost when bids go high. All you need to do is send me an email at notmiranda@gmail.com and provide the following information:
*indicate your willingness to participate
*city/state where you are located
*name
*blog (if applicable)
*photo
You have until December 15th to volunteer! And, ladies, don't think we've forgotten about you. We will post details soon about how the auction will work and how you can get a look at the eligible dates. Just know that we're working hard to bring you the best and have a few surprises up our sleeve. We've currently got our fingers crossed that a certain, hot celebrity blogger will participate ; )
*i.e., meet someone...not "hook up".
*indicate your willingness to participate
*city/state where you are located
*name
*blog (if applicable)
*photo
You have until December 15th to volunteer! And, ladies, don't think we've forgotten about you. We will post details soon about how the auction will work and how you can get a look at the eligible dates. Just know that we're working hard to bring you the best and have a few surprises up our sleeve. We've currently got our fingers crossed that a certain, hot celebrity blogger will participate ; )
*i.e., meet someone...not "hook up".
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