You know that scene in The Notebook when they kiss in the rain (details not given for those who haven't seen the movie)? Why is it that rain seems to make a moment so much more romantic and hott? I'm not sure why I started thinking about this earlier (ok, maybe it's because I'm in a kissing drought so my thoughts immediately go to water...) but the last time I kissed someone in the rain it didn't really add to the moment in a positive way. What is did add to was the frizz in my hair and my worry about running mascara. I mean, at the time I was secretly excited to be getting my "kiss in the rain" but now that I think about it, I might want to keep that one on my list.
What list?
Oh just a few things I always say I want to do: "christen" the back seat of my car, get married in Vegas, kiss in the rain, etc.
Maybe I should try combining all three. Too bad Vegas is in the desert, might be hard to time my shot-gun wedding with rain while my car waits to be "christened". And how can it be shot-gun when we'll have to drive there from DC?
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Valentine's Day, a recap
I had such a funny, girly day today that I feel a little retrospective is in order even before the body is cold.
Things that made v-day 2006 memorable:
Things that made v-day 2006 memorable:
- making eyes on the metro
- cupcakes from Cakelove
- champagne (period)
- spilling champagne all over NotCharlotte's car
- drinking said champagne from a coffee cup while at work
- being propositioned for two dates
- turning down two dates (minor issues with snaggle teeth, drunk breath, 5'2" and crazy)
- hearing all about how NotBigMouth made NotElliot whack his pube bush
- talking about and learning just how far they go in a brazilian bikini wax
- NotaManager calling this Black Tuesday
- learning that the best way to ensure a happy marriage to marry someone with a similarly shaped head
- posting a Missed Connection on Craigslist
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Can I whine for just one second...
I want a Valentine...
*end of rant we now return you to your regularly scheduled valentine's day smooching, groping, etc.*
*end of rant we now return you to your regularly scheduled valentine's day smooching, groping, etc.*
Bonus Day
Valentine's Day is the bonus holiday. I've never understood getting "down" about not being able to celebrate it. (Well, I do celebrate it but I've never really had a significant other to get all lovey-dovey with.) To me, getting depressed over Valentine's Day is like getting depressed about not being able to celebrate Hanukkah if you're not Jewish or Bastille Day if you're not French.
If you do have a significant other, then Valentine's Day can be an extra special day for you. It's a bonus for being in love. To use my previous analogy, if I were to marry a Jew (pleasepleaseplease), then it would then be a bonus to get to celebrate Hanukkah. Until that time though, I'm not going to get depressed when the menorahs and dreidels start coming out. In the same way, I am not going to get depressed by the influx of red and pink and heart shaped boxes of candy.
There are so many thoughts of Valentine's Day:
-love should be expressed every day of the year
-it sucks
-it's a Hallmark holiday
They are all valid opinions on the day but it depends on your attitude if it's going to affect your mood. I'm not a cynic when it comes to relationships and love, so I'm not going to spend my day being jealous of my coworkers receiving flowers or damning all men to hell for not realizing how awesome I am. I'm going to spend February 14th like most any other day (except maybe with a little more chocolate thanks to some sweet coworkers). I encourage those not celebrating this bonus holiday to put things in perspective and realize that it is seriously just another day. it's not the end of the world if you aren't celebrating Hanukkah, I mean Valentine's Day like what seems to be the majority of people out there.
HAPPY (BONUS) VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
If you do have a significant other, then Valentine's Day can be an extra special day for you. It's a bonus for being in love. To use my previous analogy, if I were to marry a Jew (pleasepleaseplease), then it would then be a bonus to get to celebrate Hanukkah. Until that time though, I'm not going to get depressed when the menorahs and dreidels start coming out. In the same way, I am not going to get depressed by the influx of red and pink and heart shaped boxes of candy.
There are so many thoughts of Valentine's Day:
-love should be expressed every day of the year
-it sucks
-it's a Hallmark holiday
They are all valid opinions on the day but it depends on your attitude if it's going to affect your mood. I'm not a cynic when it comes to relationships and love, so I'm not going to spend my day being jealous of my coworkers receiving flowers or damning all men to hell for not realizing how awesome I am. I'm going to spend February 14th like most any other day (except maybe with a little more chocolate thanks to some sweet coworkers). I encourage those not celebrating this bonus holiday to put things in perspective and realize that it is seriously just another day. it's not the end of the world if you aren't celebrating Hanukkah, I mean Valentine's Day like what seems to be the majority of people out there.
HAPPY (BONUS) VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Stoppin the Love
I'm done with NotHusband.
Recently, he's been doing more than his fair share of pissing me off and today marked the end of my letting it hurt my feelings.
On my birthday, we all decided to play Kings, the game where you each pick a card and each one means something different. So NotRachel picks up a card that happened to mean Categories. She decided her category was "Places I've had sex."
We get to me and I pause. Someone goes "Oh, it's just because all of the places that have been named you've done it in, right?" And just as I was agreeing, in butts NotHusband with "No, it's because she's never done it AT ALL."
I was shocked. Number 1, it's no ones business but my own whether or not I decide to tell someone I'm a virgin. Number 2, it's REALLY not his job to announce to the entire party my sexual status. I got so mad at him I yelled at him 3 times in the course of 2 days. Thing is, he really didn't seem to feel that bad about it.
So lately I've been distancing myself from him, with good reason. Apparently he went to a gay club one weekend, hooked up with a guy, and now they're dating. WHAT the fuck is that? Tell me, why is it so much easier for a gay man to find and keep a mate? Honestly.
So I have to hear him talk about this guy constantly. I won't even give him a name because honestly, with the way NotHusband goes through men, he won't last long enough for us to even remember what I called him.
He is the most self-centered man I have ever met. I mean honestly. Every single conversation we have he centers around himself. If there's something wrong with me and I happen to tell him, he will change the subject so it comes back to him. I'm serious! I've been starting to think about why we're actually friends.
I know he takes my advice to heart. I talked him down off the ledge of moving up in the company he works for, NotHomeDepot.
But I digress.
Tomorrow, as many(all) of you may know, is Valentine's Day. Awhile back NotHusband and I had a conversation that involved us going out to dinner and celebration this (stupid ass) holiday together.
Color me surprised when I find out, via his Livejournal, that he has decided to go out with his other girl friend (NotOrange) and celebrate the fact that they are single and happy. This bothers me for several reasons:
1. Um, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Did he, or did he not say we were going to have dinner on that night? (NotMiranda, back me up on this...)
2. I cannot STAND NotOrange. He could have picked anyone else to go with, I mean seriously.
3. When I left a few "snarky" comments on his LJ, he proceeds to IM me and say "Gee, thanks for making me look like an ass on my LiveJournal."
I shouldn't get this upset about it, but honestly, with the way things are going in my "love" life, you'd think that I'd catch a break on the one holiday that usually sucks for me. I think it's very unfortunate that this consumer-driven holiday can make me so depressed, but it does. Even a fake date was better than nothing.
Every day NotHusband slips farther and farther away from best friend status and that saddens me to no end, but honestly, am I really at fault?
Recently, he's been doing more than his fair share of pissing me off and today marked the end of my letting it hurt my feelings.
On my birthday, we all decided to play Kings, the game where you each pick a card and each one means something different. So NotRachel picks up a card that happened to mean Categories. She decided her category was "Places I've had sex."
We get to me and I pause. Someone goes "Oh, it's just because all of the places that have been named you've done it in, right?" And just as I was agreeing, in butts NotHusband with "No, it's because she's never done it AT ALL."
I was shocked. Number 1, it's no ones business but my own whether or not I decide to tell someone I'm a virgin. Number 2, it's REALLY not his job to announce to the entire party my sexual status. I got so mad at him I yelled at him 3 times in the course of 2 days. Thing is, he really didn't seem to feel that bad about it.
So lately I've been distancing myself from him, with good reason. Apparently he went to a gay club one weekend, hooked up with a guy, and now they're dating. WHAT the fuck is that? Tell me, why is it so much easier for a gay man to find and keep a mate? Honestly.
So I have to hear him talk about this guy constantly. I won't even give him a name because honestly, with the way NotHusband goes through men, he won't last long enough for us to even remember what I called him.
He is the most self-centered man I have ever met. I mean honestly. Every single conversation we have he centers around himself. If there's something wrong with me and I happen to tell him, he will change the subject so it comes back to him. I'm serious! I've been starting to think about why we're actually friends.
I know he takes my advice to heart. I talked him down off the ledge of moving up in the company he works for, NotHomeDepot.
But I digress.
Tomorrow, as many(all) of you may know, is Valentine's Day. Awhile back NotHusband and I had a conversation that involved us going out to dinner and celebration this (stupid ass) holiday together.
Color me surprised when I find out, via his Livejournal, that he has decided to go out with his other girl friend (NotOrange) and celebrate the fact that they are single and happy. This bothers me for several reasons:
1. Um, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Did he, or did he not say we were going to have dinner on that night? (NotMiranda, back me up on this...)
2. I cannot STAND NotOrange. He could have picked anyone else to go with, I mean seriously.
3. When I left a few "snarky" comments on his LJ, he proceeds to IM me and say "Gee, thanks for making me look like an ass on my LiveJournal."
I shouldn't get this upset about it, but honestly, with the way things are going in my "love" life, you'd think that I'd catch a break on the one holiday that usually sucks for me. I think it's very unfortunate that this consumer-driven holiday can make me so depressed, but it does. Even a fake date was better than nothing.
Every day NotHusband slips farther and farther away from best friend status and that saddens me to no end, but honestly, am I really at fault?
Sunday, February 12, 2006
The Avalanche
I have decided to stop getting my hopes up for weekends.
I have also decided to not talk about what I want to happen. I should just keep my mouth shut because apparently when I speak these wishes out loud, they immediately do NOT come true.
Ooooh, I'm magical. :-)
I have also decided to not talk about what I want to happen. I should just keep my mouth shut because apparently when I speak these wishes out loud, they immediately do NOT come true.
Ooooh, I'm magical. :-)
Turn your cab light on
I saw a book at the bookstore today about how we can't expect to get a man unless we have our "cab lights on". It's all about sending the right signal. Maybe this is one place I'm running into trouble with NotGraceful. Whatever forcefield that surrounds him throws my signals completely out of whack. I find I become neurotic and seem to have lost the ability to function like a normal person. Does anyone have the antidote for crush-itis? Let's examine my symptoms.
When we last left off, I had failed miserably to invite NotGraceful into my lair. Utterly crushed by my own pitifulness, I did what any girl with a blog would do. I sat down and immediately emailed him, a few simple sentences sent by me asking him to come back and keep me company. Not a boy prone to email (should be warning flare #1), he didn't get the email until the next day. His response, however, was nearly perfect. No fear was expressed, only a desire that I should have asked him to come up while he was still there. My head hovered in the clouds even though he wasn't going to join us (a few Nots plus NotGay) out on Friday.
Saturday NotCarrie and NotJason met me for dinner, and as I was leaving my part-time job, I slipped NotGraceful a note with my phone number on it and the offer to hang out once he got off. Nothing. Again, I was left to wonder if I was reading him all wrong.
This past week was truly the pinnacle of my neuroses and the up/down of this faux relationship. A typical interaction for us is lots of staring and eyes and very little words. When left alone, the conversation flows. For once, the early part of this week seemed different. We talked around other people. We continued to have real conversation when they left, and I actually managed to keep my wits about me to not turn 3 different shades of red. He even arranged to take his break at the same time as mine one day (he works at where my part-time job is). These were the highs. Neurotic NotMiranda also took up residence in my head during part of the week as well. Sunday I decided I was going to "test him". He passed; I was ecstatic. However, when I suddenly lost my mind and came up with another lame scheme, I found myself walking home alone on a cold winter night. NotRachel kept me sane when I declared myself done and talked me into realizing part of this was my fault. She convinced me to be cool and give the boy a chance to make his move. Easier said than done. Being cool forced me back into shy mode. I didn't know how to act and proceeded to have a crappy week. When NotGraceful bailed on joining the gang this Saturday, I almost bailed on this whole crush thing entirely. The problem is that you can't just wash that man right out of your hair, no matter what the song says.
I came to the conclusion that, while I am so not a cool girl, I can convince myself to step back and keep my options open. I flirted my ass off on Saturday at work and had a hell of a time. I also managed to shine a little in front of NotGraceful today, too. If he wants this girl, he's going to have to come get me. At one point, I felt like we were almost there, but my obsessing took over. The obsessing is stopping while the flirting continues. I'm not giving up...he's still the one I want. I just need to give him a chance to realize he needs to give a little, too. My cab light's on. We'll see if he decides to hail me.
When we last left off, I had failed miserably to invite NotGraceful into my lair. Utterly crushed by my own pitifulness, I did what any girl with a blog would do. I sat down and immediately emailed him, a few simple sentences sent by me asking him to come back and keep me company. Not a boy prone to email (should be warning flare #1), he didn't get the email until the next day. His response, however, was nearly perfect. No fear was expressed, only a desire that I should have asked him to come up while he was still there. My head hovered in the clouds even though he wasn't going to join us (a few Nots plus NotGay) out on Friday.
Saturday NotCarrie and NotJason met me for dinner, and as I was leaving my part-time job, I slipped NotGraceful a note with my phone number on it and the offer to hang out once he got off. Nothing. Again, I was left to wonder if I was reading him all wrong.
This past week was truly the pinnacle of my neuroses and the up/down of this faux relationship. A typical interaction for us is lots of staring and eyes and very little words. When left alone, the conversation flows. For once, the early part of this week seemed different. We talked around other people. We continued to have real conversation when they left, and I actually managed to keep my wits about me to not turn 3 different shades of red. He even arranged to take his break at the same time as mine one day (he works at where my part-time job is). These were the highs. Neurotic NotMiranda also took up residence in my head during part of the week as well. Sunday I decided I was going to "test him". He passed; I was ecstatic. However, when I suddenly lost my mind and came up with another lame scheme, I found myself walking home alone on a cold winter night. NotRachel kept me sane when I declared myself done and talked me into realizing part of this was my fault. She convinced me to be cool and give the boy a chance to make his move. Easier said than done. Being cool forced me back into shy mode. I didn't know how to act and proceeded to have a crappy week. When NotGraceful bailed on joining the gang this Saturday, I almost bailed on this whole crush thing entirely. The problem is that you can't just wash that man right out of your hair, no matter what the song says.
I came to the conclusion that, while I am so not a cool girl, I can convince myself to step back and keep my options open. I flirted my ass off on Saturday at work and had a hell of a time. I also managed to shine a little in front of NotGraceful today, too. If he wants this girl, he's going to have to come get me. At one point, I felt like we were almost there, but my obsessing took over. The obsessing is stopping while the flirting continues. I'm not giving up...he's still the one I want. I just need to give him a chance to realize he needs to give a little, too. My cab light's on. We'll see if he decides to hail me.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
4-Wheel Drive
I agree with you, NotCharlotte, the thought of staying in with a guy on this snowy night sounds REALLY nice. However, seeing as how I have been stuck inside all day, I would much prefer a guy with 4-wheel drive right now to come rescue me from my stir craziness.
If you have a 4-wheel drive, speak up!
If you have a 4-wheel drive, speak up!
Other Side of the World
Snow makes me want to cuddle with someone.
Well, more than usual. I look outside and see the flakes falling down and all I can think about is having someone to spend in the house, snowed in and watching movies, not caring about going out or spending money on frivolous things.
It also doesn't help that lately I've been into the slower, more melodical type of girl singers. KT Tunstall and Feist have been singing the soundtrack to the days I spend in my car going from home to work to school then back to work. Which is pretty much every day.
Snow has also ruined my superfun plans for the weekend, but hopefully something good will still happen.
Well, more than usual. I look outside and see the flakes falling down and all I can think about is having someone to spend in the house, snowed in and watching movies, not caring about going out or spending money on frivolous things.
It also doesn't help that lately I've been into the slower, more melodical type of girl singers. KT Tunstall and Feist have been singing the soundtrack to the days I spend in my car going from home to work to school then back to work. Which is pretty much every day.
Snow has also ruined my superfun plans for the weekend, but hopefully something good will still happen.
Friday, February 10, 2006
And the letter I sent...
I'm not going to do anything for your birthday.
On the 18th I've got two people who I want to help celebrate their birthdays so I'm going to divide my time doing that.
What you told me last night was cruel, but cruel in the way that I needed it.
(This involves a conversation between myself and NotSkippy where he tells me that after I've started putting together some birthday plans for him that involve ice skating and all of his friends for his birthday, that he wouldn't feel comfortable doing any of this without NotIttyBittyTitty there, to which I lit into him, about he has so far been unable to even decide if he wants to break up with her or not, and his excuse for not making this decision..."I've been sick")
It gave me the courage to finally realize what I want out of this friendship. I want someone I can watch anime with and chat with occassionally and go to Asian restaurants with. In short, a friend.
I don't want someone who's going to make me feel bad about not liking their girlfiriend. Or someone who's going to make me feel like the other woman, or feel bad about me. So I'm stepping back.
NotIttyBittyTitty is your girlfriend. I'm just a girl that is your friend. I have no claims on your time other than what you choose to spend in my presence. I won't make any more demands of you. We need some time apart. You need to figure out what you want, and you can't do that if I'm a crutch that keeps you from making that decision. So I'll bow out gracefully. You let me know when you're ready to be friends again, k?
This is what I sent and unlike the last time I went the email route with him, I don't feel any of the trepidation or the nervousness about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Instead, I feel better, and if I feel better now, than I can only imagine how badly I felt before.
On the 18th I've got two people who I want to help celebrate their birthdays so I'm going to divide my time doing that.
What you told me last night was cruel, but cruel in the way that I needed it.
(This involves a conversation between myself and NotSkippy where he tells me that after I've started putting together some birthday plans for him that involve ice skating and all of his friends for his birthday, that he wouldn't feel comfortable doing any of this without NotIttyBittyTitty there, to which I lit into him, about he has so far been unable to even decide if he wants to break up with her or not, and his excuse for not making this decision..."I've been sick")
It gave me the courage to finally realize what I want out of this friendship. I want someone I can watch anime with and chat with occassionally and go to Asian restaurants with. In short, a friend.
I don't want someone who's going to make me feel bad about not liking their girlfiriend. Or someone who's going to make me feel like the other woman, or feel bad about me. So I'm stepping back.
NotIttyBittyTitty is your girlfriend. I'm just a girl that is your friend. I have no claims on your time other than what you choose to spend in my presence. I won't make any more demands of you. We need some time apart. You need to figure out what you want, and you can't do that if I'm a crutch that keeps you from making that decision. So I'll bow out gracefully. You let me know when you're ready to be friends again, k?
This is what I sent and unlike the last time I went the email route with him, I don't feel any of the trepidation or the nervousness about whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Instead, I feel better, and if I feel better now, than I can only imagine how badly I felt before.
My Funny Valentine...
Okay, so Valentine's Day isn't here yet, but I figured that since Prince Charming or Master Charming or Well-Hung *rowr* Charming hasn't fallen out of the sky and next to my car, and given the previous weeks events, that I deserved some sort of Valentine's treat. So, I declare myself, my Valentine. I shall be taking myself out for a romantic dinner and then I will be showing myself what a real woman likes about this day of flowers and love.
Besides, who says I need to be someone's Valentine in order to feel validated as a female. I would love to have that special someone by my side as I trip the light fantastic through my day, but alas not to be this year. So I'll spend my time with someone equally fascinating who will hang on my everyword and who will give me their undivided attention for the entirety of Valentine's Day...myself.
Besides, who says I need to be someone's Valentine in order to feel validated as a female. I would love to have that special someone by my side as I trip the light fantastic through my day, but alas not to be this year. So I'll spend my time with someone equally fascinating who will hang on my everyword and who will give me their undivided attention for the entirety of Valentine's Day...myself.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Just the three of us???
NotSkippy commented to me last night as we watched a movie that his friends
thought he had the ideal setup. He was dating me (someone that he likes, has a lot in common with, etc.), but he's screwing NotIttyBittyTitty.
*raised eyebrow*
So while I play the part of the pseudo-girlfriend, complete with fun dinners out and copious amounts of his time, the supposed real girlfriend is the "other" woman...good for getting nekkid with and possibly bumping uglies...
*both eyebrows raised now*
Now its not that I'm against hanging out with him or that I don't understand the inner
workings of the male mind, this one in particular, but seriously, what is he thinking. And the really sad part of the whole thing is...it doesn't seem like he even refuted this claim.
Recently, I told NotSkippy that while I don't mind the random comment about NotIttyBittyTitty, I really don't care to hear about her at all, because 1) I don't like her and I think she's totally wrong for him, 2) I think she has some major body, mind and personality issues that she needs to address before getting involved with someone of the opposite sex and 3) she's marriage track girl and is three little words away from pressing NotSkippy
on the whole ring, dress and picket fence issue. To add to my dislike of her in general I have the additional fuel of his parents not thinking she is 'the one' for him either.
With this, I find I need to take another step away from this situation all together and limit my contact with him to movies on the weekend and the occasional dinner out, because anymore and I'll wind up in the pining from afar boat again.
thought he had the ideal setup. He was dating me (someone that he likes, has a lot in common with, etc.), but he's screwing NotIttyBittyTitty.
*raised eyebrow*
So while I play the part of the pseudo-girlfriend, complete with fun dinners out and copious amounts of his time, the supposed real girlfriend is the "other" woman...good for getting nekkid with and possibly bumping uglies...
*both eyebrows raised now*
Now its not that I'm against hanging out with him or that I don't understand the inner
workings of the male mind, this one in particular, but seriously, what is he thinking. And the really sad part of the whole thing is...it doesn't seem like he even refuted this claim.
Recently, I told NotSkippy that while I don't mind the random comment about NotIttyBittyTitty, I really don't care to hear about her at all, because 1) I don't like her and I think she's totally wrong for him, 2) I think she has some major body, mind and personality issues that she needs to address before getting involved with someone of the opposite sex and 3) she's marriage track girl and is three little words away from pressing NotSkippy
on the whole ring, dress and picket fence issue. To add to my dislike of her in general I have the additional fuel of his parents not thinking she is 'the one' for him either.
With this, I find I need to take another step away from this situation all together and limit my contact with him to movies on the weekend and the occasional dinner out, because anymore and I'll wind up in the pining from afar boat again.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
His Point Of View
Larissa's latest "Insider Thought" over on her blog has totally got me thinking...I wonder what my guy friends would say about me and my interactions with the opposite sex. What kind of advice would they give me and what analysis would they have of my previous relationships...or not-so-much-relationships.
NotStanford tells me all the time that I need to just go out and have sex while pining away for my crushes. He is also a fan of just telling people when you want them. I would like his comments on my flirting style and if I come off as just a tease or if people find my intentions genuine.
NotJason would be a VERY interesting participant if he would be honest and open about it. I have a feeling he would never ever give me advice on my interactions with him and other guys. His point of view might be the one I am most interested in, though.
NotTownie would be another interesting one as he knows I want his sass but I can also confide in him about real things. His experience with the opposite sex would probably provide some great insight.
I don't know, it just makes me wonder how I actually do come off to guys. I really want a male perspective now.
NotStanford tells me all the time that I need to just go out and have sex while pining away for my crushes. He is also a fan of just telling people when you want them. I would like his comments on my flirting style and if I come off as just a tease or if people find my intentions genuine.
NotJason would be a VERY interesting participant if he would be honest and open about it. I have a feeling he would never ever give me advice on my interactions with him and other guys. His point of view might be the one I am most interested in, though.
NotTownie would be another interesting one as he knows I want his sass but I can also confide in him about real things. His experience with the opposite sex would probably provide some great insight.
I don't know, it just makes me wonder how I actually do come off to guys. I really want a male perspective now.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Autobiography Page 321
When I was in 6th grade, or so, I was at the skating rink (shut up) on a Friday night when my older brother's friend said, "NotCarrie, Will you go with me?" He was at least 5 years older and I was thoroughly confused and said, "Go where?"
"GO with me," he said.
"GO where?" I responded.
Then I realized what he meant and I was so embarassed I ran (skated) away and ignored them both for the rest of the night.
"GO with me," he said.
"GO where?" I responded.
Then I realized what he meant and I was so embarassed I ran (skated) away and ignored them both for the rest of the night.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Mise-en-Scene
It seems as if I haven't posted in such a long time.
It's half because I've been busier than Hades with school, work, and Friday fun. Plus, I just haven't really had much to post about.
NotGay is back on the "good list," especially as of late. He's been bumped up to "permanent friend" status. NotMiranda kept teasing me on Friday, we all (the 3 of us and NotCarrie) went on a road trip to see some indie bands, and he was fairly friendly towards me. She kept making comments about us making out. Thing is, I would, but I can honestly say that it would be a purely physical thing. It's weird, but it's like I don't feel that kind of attraction towards him. If that makes sense. I mean that as in relationship attraction.
He did pick me up and spin me around though, which took me by surprise. I don't know why I feel the need to include that fact, but I just found it interesting.
Anyway, just letting you know I'm alive and that I'm still (unfortunately) single.
I have another blog topic (about NotHusband) that I shall elaborate on another time, it's going to be a long one.
It's half because I've been busier than Hades with school, work, and Friday fun. Plus, I just haven't really had much to post about.
NotGay is back on the "good list," especially as of late. He's been bumped up to "permanent friend" status. NotMiranda kept teasing me on Friday, we all (the 3 of us and NotCarrie) went on a road trip to see some indie bands, and he was fairly friendly towards me. She kept making comments about us making out. Thing is, I would, but I can honestly say that it would be a purely physical thing. It's weird, but it's like I don't feel that kind of attraction towards him. If that makes sense. I mean that as in relationship attraction.
He did pick me up and spin me around though, which took me by surprise. I don't know why I feel the need to include that fact, but I just found it interesting.
Anyway, just letting you know I'm alive and that I'm still (unfortunately) single.
I have another blog topic (about NotHusband) that I shall elaborate on another time, it's going to be a long one.
Friend Crush Update
I got in some quality time with one of my friend crushes yesterday. I need to super glue him into that category because I'm worried it's going to go from Friend Crush to Real Crush and that would be bad. He has a girlfriend and from what I learned yesterday, a fairly serious one. He's such a nice guy though and I really want him to be a real friend. Not just an acquaintance I see from time to time. I like people who can talk about music and movies and he's also funny.
We've invited him out a few times but it never works. I'm crossing my fingers for soon.
We've invited him out a few times but it never works. I'm crossing my fingers for soon.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
I'm a loser
I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to ask him up. I'm too fucking shy for my own good.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
I am willing to commit...or is it that I should be committed...
I've been rethinking this whole relationship thing. That and the kid thing. Note that I can't even consider either without objectifying them. But I digress.
The need to be with someone, or be in a committed relationship is a double edged sword. While I don't necessarily want to be alone, I also don't really want to navigate and emotional mindfield that may be worse than my own. I mean seriously, the catchphrase nowadays is "I have issues". We all have issues and when you add to that the want to be with someone else you get even more of these 'issues'.
Then, I've been noticing a steady trend and maybe its part of living in the Metro DC area, but there seem to be two groups of the singles crowds between the ages of 25 - 35, those who are itching, tingling, harping to get married and those who are going with the flow. For the former, its the biological-clock-is-ticking-(for men as well as women)-need-to-have-the-house-the-car-the-right-everything-right-now syndrome, and for the latter it seems to be more of a I'll do the dating thing and if I meet up with that person then I will and if I don't well...
And while neither is exactly healthy, they both have their respective places in my world. They balance each other if you will. And I love a well balanced group.
Or maybe I just need to be committed...or sedated. Not sure which.
The need to be with someone, or be in a committed relationship is a double edged sword. While I don't necessarily want to be alone, I also don't really want to navigate and emotional mindfield that may be worse than my own. I mean seriously, the catchphrase nowadays is "I have issues". We all have issues and when you add to that the want to be with someone else you get even more of these 'issues'.
Then, I've been noticing a steady trend and maybe its part of living in the Metro DC area, but there seem to be two groups of the singles crowds between the ages of 25 - 35, those who are itching, tingling, harping to get married and those who are going with the flow. For the former, its the biological-clock-is-ticking-(for men as well as women)-need-to-have-the-house-the-car-the-right-everything-right-now syndrome, and for the latter it seems to be more of a I'll do the dating thing and if I meet up with that person then I will and if I don't well...
And while neither is exactly healthy, they both have their respective places in my world. They balance each other if you will. And I love a well balanced group.
Or maybe I just need to be committed...or sedated. Not sure which.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Giddy school girls have nothing on me
I'm a ball of anticipation covered in a shy school girl's kilt. I've been hesitant to blog about NotGraceful because I hate to be a bore but can hold it in no longer. Considering we're talking about two shy people, things have been going really well. The only real hiccup came when I realized how similar he looks to NotSteve (the ex I haven't really blogged about). This realization had me pouring through old pictures hoping to invalidate this theory. Even though I came up with photos that bear a striking resemblance to NotGraceful, I'm convinced this crush has nothing to do with those similarities.
Speaking of this crush...can it get anymore ridiculously painful? I want this boy so badly I spend my days feeling nauseous and my nights battling my dreams. Ducked heads and stolen glances have progressed to real conversation and full-on eye googling (as my friend NotRachel calls it). Whenever we're alone I'm left with the distinct impression that there's something he wants to say to me. It's like it is this visceral thing hanging in the air between us. Poor boy...Saturday I got trashed at NotCharlotte's birthday and wound up ending the night curled up in a chair, asleep on his shoulder. NotRachel cracked me up by saying how she liked that he jumped to fulfill my every request that night. Ha!
At the moment, I'm all a flutter because tomorrow night I'm all set to ask him if he wants to come upstairs when he drops me off. I feel like I should leave it at this for the moment, but hopefully I'll be able to mix a little bit of snogging into my next post ; )
Speaking of this crush...can it get anymore ridiculously painful? I want this boy so badly I spend my days feeling nauseous and my nights battling my dreams. Ducked heads and stolen glances have progressed to real conversation and full-on eye googling (as my friend NotRachel calls it). Whenever we're alone I'm left with the distinct impression that there's something he wants to say to me. It's like it is this visceral thing hanging in the air between us. Poor boy...Saturday I got trashed at NotCharlotte's birthday and wound up ending the night curled up in a chair, asleep on his shoulder. NotRachel cracked me up by saying how she liked that he jumped to fulfill my every request that night. Ha!
At the moment, I'm all a flutter because tomorrow night I'm all set to ask him if he wants to come upstairs when he drops me off. I feel like I should leave it at this for the moment, but hopefully I'll be able to mix a little bit of snogging into my next post ; )
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