I’m notSamantha and I’m not in Kansas, anymore…

It's not often that I'm shaken and stirred when it comes to men. For the most part they're pretty simple: sex, food, companionship and the occasional sporting event/computer thing/political issue for fun. Well, NotAFreak is bucking my carefully crafted ideas, and I don't like it.

Not one little bit, which would explain why I'm still so attracted, right?

I know women want a man to get them, and I count myself among those women, but to get me so quickly is a little frightening. So is him managing to lay out my issues before I can give voice to them. Seriously, its enough to make me want to run for the hills…maybe.

I've been taking the advice route with this relationship (okay, I didn't stutter, falter or gag…maybe just a bit). NotMiranda and NotASong have weighed in with advice because according to them, I walk away (true), I'm mean (also true) and I let the men I've dated live down to my expectations. So this time, I'm keeping a positive outlook (or as positive and outlook as one as jaded as me can keep), I'm being open to the good things that can happen between us and I'm finding enjoyment in the things we do. All the while trying to keep my head about me. I'm exhausted just typing it all out.

I think it comes down to trust for me. I don't trust easily and letting someone inside that trust takes years. And the fact that NotAFreak keeps revealing truths about me that I haven't told him about, gives him sneaky pieces of my trust and I'm not happy about it. But maybe that's what has to happen. Because I fight my mind and my heart on just about everything, that the man who's going to have a hope of having any type of relationship with me is going to have to outsmart both to get a fair chance…and if they can untangle that Gordian knot, then maybe…just maybe.

Dickmatized…

At about four weeks in, I'm not sure what's going on, but I know it's a lot different from my past relationships. And I can actually call it that without gagging or breaking out into a rash, go figure. I've decided to enlist the help of several of my row dogs. NotASong, NotMiranda and NotCharlotte have all sounded in about what they think about the situation. Because things had smoothed out, become twisted and then smoothed out again. I've been advised to be willing to risk something to get something back, make sure that we take things slowly and to stop thinking NotFreak will live down to my expectations. All of which is welcome and hardy advice and I've been applying it as much as I can.

And then there's the part that I'm usually in more control of but seem to be failing in that regard as well. The sex. In a word its fantastic, in two words its absolutely fabulous. And so I'm at risk of being dickmatized…

*gives self mental slap*

What is being dickmatized you ask…I point you to the Urban dictionary, which defines it as such:

When a girl can not concentrate on anything else because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass. Her work is jeopardized, she's a sell out to her girlfriends, she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever. She will do whatever it takes for the DICK. Even if the dick isn't all that great, she doesn't know the difference because she is dickmatized.

Though I will point out that I have yet to pick up his kids…and have no intention of doing so. Because we all know about my rational fear of children. Nor will I be selling out on my girls, because as always hoes before bros. However, I do wonder what I'm willing to do for this dick…I'm going to have to think about that and get back to you…

Now, here's the last bit. There's something there. Feelings and stuff. And fuck if I know what to do with it.

*sigh*

In Which NotSamantha tames her inner Shrew?

So this week was filled with enlightenment on the relationship front.

I had a late dinner/early breakfast with NotAFreak and I realized that my absolute need to control everything will never apply in this relationship.

He's got my number and called me on it.

I was under the impression that I could bend this relationship to my will and get what I wanted out of it and walk away, but now, I don't think that's going to be possible.

So after being visited by a company of ironies in the form of a conversation and Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew." I'm going to do some of my own taming and decide if I'm woman enough to drop the control act and just enjoy the experience.

The More things Change...

Its been a while since I've done this, so hopefully I remember how. Like riding a bike and all of that.

I've started dating again...or rather I've been on one pseudo-date and I'm not really sure if this is what counts as dating. Let me back up and give you some history.

NotKoi emailed me a few weeks ago and asked if she could pass my email addy on to this guy she knew that she thought I would hit it off with. Since, I had just that previous weekend told NotASong that I was ready to hit the dating road again, I figured this was a great opportunity. I said yes. And soon thereafter, NotAFreak entered my world.

He's suave, he's sexy...he's the father of several children (that alone made me almost want to forget I had agreed to talk to him at all) and he's charming.

Our first date was unconventional. A party full of people who I didn't know, but he was more than familiar with. Add to that, him bringing his "row dog" for me to hang with and we've got ourselves an interesting puzzle with too many pieces and not enough holes.

So now, I'm attempting to date him, and I'll keep you updated on the going's on, but its really in the beginning stages and we all know that I'm famous for getting fed up and going with the wind.

Shatter

Those in glass houses should not throw stones.

Was That...

Tumbleweed?

Welcome to 2009!!

Okay, so the ladies of NSATC have been busy living it up…and I know that we haven't kept you up to date, but it's a new year and since the ending part of 2008 sucked for me, I'm sure that 2009 will bring me nothing but good things. Which I will definitely be sharing with you guys (if there's anyone still left).

Well Fuck...

So, last Friday while getting it on with NotChrisRock, he says to me:

"I want to be monogamous."

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

That's How Strong My Love Is

Oh, Otis Redding...you break my heart and make it all warm at the same time.

If I was the sun way up there
I'd go with love most everywhere
I'll be the moon when the sun goes down
Just to let you know that I'm still around

That's how strong my love is, oh
That's how strong my love is,
That's how strong my love is, baby, baby,
That's how strong my love is.

I'll be the weeping willow drowning in my tears
You can go swimming when you're here
I'll be the rainbow when the sun is gone
Wrap you in my colors and keep you warm

That's how strong my love is, darling,
That's how strong my love is, baby,
That's how strong my love is, oooh,
That's how strong my love is.

I'll be the ocean so deep and wide
I'll get out the tears whenever you cry,
I'll be the breeze after the storm is gone
To dry your eyes and love you warm

That's how strong my love is, baby,
That's how strong my love is,
That's how strong my love is, darling,
That's how strong my love is,
That's how strong my love is, so deep in,
Well, that's how strong my love is

So much love, yes so much love, oohh,
Yes so much love, yes so much love,
Anything that I can do, I'll be good for you,
Any kind of love you want, I'll be with you....


~NotCarrie

Fearlessly Calling Bluffs.

I'm NotLexi, I've been reading this blog for sometime and am very good friends with NotCharlotte, who asked me to be a guest writer. Why? I can only assume she's amused by my manner of relating my various misadventures. She obviously thought other people might get a kick out of it as well.

Rewind to summer of 2005. I was a sophomore in college, and killing time. One particular afternoon, my buddy, NotBatman and I find ourselves hanging out with our other buddy, NotTheRiddler at the apartment in Georgetown in which he's renting a room from a guy he knows from work. We were there because the roommate has a big screen TV and ALL the channels, and we're not people who want to miss out on an oppurtunity to watch softcore porn on a big screen TV for free, also we were told there was a Five Guys nearby, so basically it was a situation that couldn't go wrong. As we're awkwardly standing around, NotTheRiddler takes the oppurtunity to introduce us to his roommate - let's call him NotSethRogen (we'll get to why later.) So, it's the usual, this is so-and-so, this is blah-blah-blah. I should also note, that at the time I was really sick with a cold, so I was in way on top form. Anyhow, the afternoon goes off well, the porn was amusing, the hamburgers - delicious.

The next day, NotTheRiddler tells me that his roommate thought I was cute. More than that, but that he would really like to do me. How flattering. So, I shrug this off. Now, I ought to also mention that at this point I was a pretty blase sort of girl, plodding along - however, somehow NotTheRiddler got this crazy idea (which he still harbours) that I am some sort of Black Widow, this may or may not be true. He tells me I'm not to "destroy the soul" of his roommate. Whatever.

Fast forward to Saturday night. I'd somehow managed to enter into a long winded text/email/myspace interaction with NotSeth. Eventually, I get talked into going to his improv comedy show. (No joke, he does improv comedy, hence the NotSomeoneActuallyFunny monkier.) So, I drag my long-suffering friend, NotHarleyQuinn, and NotTheRiddler and off we go.

It's funny, but not really funny, funny in a kind of weak way. But, I, ladies and gentleman am a woman of almost infinite patience. We sat through it, granted, I did manage to somehow wangle us in for free, so it was really no one's loss. After the "family friendly" show, we stepped outside, I congratulated NotSeth on not being too painful. He seemed...well, let's just say he seemed excited that I had bothered to show up. He also ardently encouraged us to attend the "grown up" comedy improv. I asked if I would be allowed to make suggestions involving beastiality. Yes. Necrophilia? Yes. Well, I was sold. After enduring the second round of this madness, NotHarley and I make our way downstairs for a drink. NotSeth says he'll join us.

When he finally does so, it's him, one of the guys from the show and some girl. She's an important character, let's call her...Sarah. After about 15 minutes, she enthusiastically grabs his hand, and makes some ridiculous comment and being able to "deal" with him not being Jewish. She and I apparently had a world in common, Jewish being just the tip of that iceberg. Anyhow - We then realize that this dull, poorly dressed Sarah is NotSeth's girlfriend, significant other, bit'o'stuff. Well, that's interesting - considering the barrage of flirtation I had been receiving/enduring up to this point. He however did not behave like she was much a girlfriend, despite excruciating discussion of their sex life.

Now, this went on in much the same manner, with her being pathetically demonstrative and him flirting with me, until NotTheRiddler made some whiney comment about not making enough money, to which, NotSeth said "Dude, you're so greedy. All one needs in life to be happy is to be is enough money to live on, a mistress and a slave." And that, to me, was an irresistable invitation to debauched conversation. Sarah rolls her eyes (subtext: not this again.) and I plunge into hilarious BDSM related banter. Of course, he loves this, I love a good bout of perversion, and she is freaking out (rightfully so.)

As the party eventually broke up, he bid me fairwell with the words "call me if you need to be disciplined." Yeah right. She, who was so keen on being my new BFF, was a little pale around the gills.

It has since come to my attention that they are in an "open relationship". She believes she's alright with this, and I think he certainly is. However, I think after that evening she felt a little more unstable. Because it's all very well and good to say you're okay with an open relationship...until there's a girl bitchy enough to call your bluff.

Oh, and call her bluff I shall.

Thanks, But No Thanks

This guy keeps hitting on me at work and while it's flattering, I really just want him to stop. The problem is, though, that I think he thinks I may be interested. See, I never recognize him when he comes in so I say hello like I do to everyone and I think he mistakes my smile and happiness for being excited to see him. Yesterday when he came by someone else went to say hello to him and he said hi, then came straight to where I was and said to the other guy, "I came to see her." (OMG) Of course, I was caught by surprise and in the miliseconds that this all happened, I was saying hello and smiling like I do to everyone (So you can see how he would mistake this interaction for me being happy to see him).

*SIGH*

The last time he came in, I honestly thought that maybe I had misunderstood him when he said he wanted to buy me coffee. This time there was nothing ambigious about what he said. He wants to " come back and see" me and "take [me] out for coffee". I don't know what to do when he says these things, though, because I am not in an environment where I can be mean or in a place like a bar where I can just leave. NotSnape, a coworker, made it even worse later when he told me that my inadvertant blushing* probably sealed the deal for the guy. Crap!

So I don't know what to do. My only plan so far is to have either NotSnape or NotGraceful** come be protective and boyfriend-like when this admirer is there. I can't just say, "I'm not interested" because then he has the opportunity to take it all back and said, "That's not what I meant!" and how mortifying would that be!? I'm also hoping that I now recognize him sooner so I can not smile when I say hi.

Like I told NotBecky, it's tough being so gorgeous and charming.

~NotCarrie



*It was really warm in there. I was so hot.
**Did I change his name? I thought I had. Hmmm

Ruminations on a Theme

So things with Starbucks guy didn't pan out. We went out a few times and I realized that either he was intimidated by me, or I was too old for him. Either way, we still have our little conversations when I happen to see him on my morning passing through that warm room of caffienated heaven and we send random Palin-related texts to each other sometimes. It is what it is.

I was supposed to go on a date tonight with the man that thumb licked my face. His persistence was trying to pay off and I finally consented to letting him take me out for a drink and to see a comedy show.
It was Thursday and we were chatting online and he said "ok, let's go at 8, I'll pick you up at your house." Then he quickly signed off, saying he needed to study and eat dinner.
I didn't hear from him the rest of the evening, nor on Friday, or the good part of today. I began to be amused. He wasn't a detail-oriented guy, but you would think he'd ask where exactly it was that I lived before he decided to not talk to me again before we had our date.
Around 730, he sends me a text, asking for my address. Yes, 30 minutes before we were expected to jet off to DC. Why didn't I give him my address before, you ask? I was too busy being amused at his insistence of planning the date and not asking my opinion, that I thought it was his job to ask me where he should pick me up.

I was telling notmiranda about this as she waited for her flight home from Portland, and she asked me if I was going to rethink the whole "he's giving me attention, I'll play along with it for awhile" point of view that I've been seeing him with.
I had a mini ephiphany and realized that hey, I want a guy that I love, not a guy that I sort of could possibly like.

This is the dawn of a new period in the life of NotCharlotte. I vow to not waste my time with any guy that I know will never have a chance with me.
Harsh as that sounds, I have realized that with all of the guys I've dated in the past, I knew that I couldn't see myself with them permanently. Within one date, hell, one hour of a date with any of them, I knew that it wasn't a permanent thing. I stuck with it because I wanted to "gain experience" and yes, on some occassions I did happen to fool myself into "loving" the person I was with, but now I think I've had enough of those situations. I need to start trusting my judgment, not making exceptions for what I think I could possibly deal with for the moment.

He's everything I want...can I give him back now...

NotChrisRock has told me in no uncertain terms that I'm contrary for no reason, than to be contrary.

I've decided to believe that he's right. To an extent.

With this latest relationship, I got just about everything I asked for in a partner: someone who could see through the smoke and screens I cloak myself in; someone with a backbone who would stand up to my nonesense; someone to cuddle with, etc, etc. The list seems to go on for a bit. So now that I've had a sample of the good life, what do I want.

To give it back with every fiber of my being.

NotChrisRock is great, but he does a lot of delving into my psyche and what he's pulling out a lot of the time is not what I'm ready to deal with. Last night was one such event.

In post-coital bliss he mentioned something almost sent me running from the bed and from him. Now, I'm stuck between re-establishing the just lovers statuse or go ahead with the status quo. Not sure what to do, but in the end I'm now an even firmer believer in "be careful what you wish for."

The Gild from the Lily…

As with many things that are new for me, the shine has seem to have worn off from NotChrisRock.

In fact, he made me quite angry this Friday.

I'll preface this with an explanation. I like the shiny. I like to window shop, and I do get the opportunity to do so, I don't place a definite time limit, or general speed on which to do it in. Normal time limits such as meeting friends or catching a movie will apply.

So, Friday evening started out like this: NotChrisRock is new to the area and hasn't experienced the wonder that is Tyson's Corner. When I suggested this as a place to go he was all for it. I mentioned that I would like to window shop, but would also be up for a movie. He was game, so after getting frisky with it, off we went.

Within 20 minutes of hitting the mall proper I realized that I had made a mistake. He was a shopping shopper. Not content to do window shopping or rather not content to let me window shop, he felt the need to guide me, under the guise of hand holding (dragging) from storefront to (away from) storefront. At first I was annoyed and told him so, then I got increasingly more so. By the time we had purchased tickets, had a beer and then walked around a bit more before returning to the movie theatre for our show, I was nearly beside myself with wanting to leave him stranded at the mall. If it weren't for the fact that my clothing (and my favorite pair of boots), were trapped in his apartment, I probably would have too. The final straw came in the form of a beckon, after I had exited the ladies room and was heading in a parallel line to meet up with him in front of the theatre I turned and he stood about thirty feet away calling me over (like a puppy). For this he got both raised eyebrows and a spike in my temper. When he continued to do so, I finally returned the gesture with one of my own (children were present so I had to refrain from telling him he was #1), but I'm sure he got the point. Finally, when he refused to move, and I refused to move, I turned on my heels and left for the movie.

He appeared beside me two minutes later, where I proceeded to blast him about treating me like a puppy. The conversation went something like this:

"I don't like nor do I need to be lead around." – NS

"You walk so slow…why didn't you just walk over to me after you came out of the bathroom." – NCR

"I saw you. We were going to meet at the theatre so I headed in that direction. I was walking parallel to where we were going to meet." – NS

"But you could have just turned and come to me." – NCR

"I didn't want to…look I don't like you beckoning to me like I'm a puppy." – NS

This continued until we entered the theatre. At which time, we sat, I hogged my armrest and he hogged his. Twenty minutes into the movie his hand crept over to mine. And forty minutes into it he draped my leg over his. The argument in my mind, was gone, but not forgotten.

Following the movie was the trek back to the car, where the real issues turned up.

"You're thinking, what are you thinking about? Talk to me." – NCR

"I'm trying not to think right now." – NS (See for me this is when he should have let it drop and move onto other things. I didn't want to talk about my busy week at work, my stress level with work, my issues with what happened earlier tonight, I just wanted to get in the car, go back to his place, bounce on him, have an O and then sleep until the morning. Obviously, what I wanted didn't matter…not right then anyway.)

"That's a cop out, what's on your mind?" – NCR

"I really don't want to crawl inside of my head right now, and I really don't need you analyzing me." – NS

"I'm not analyzing you. I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong." – NCR

A snort and a laugh from me. "You know sometimes I should keep my big mouth shut because I asked for this and I got it." – NS

What followed was the continued walk to the car. Silently, thank god. Followed by an even more silent ride back to his apartment, capped off by the equivalent of a Mexican standoff, tv/book style. Finally, I asked if he was going to ignore me all night. He then proceeded to open up with "You said you didn't want to talk."

Now here is where I kick myself. I have always lamented that I didn't have someone who got me, someone who I didn't have to go into details with because they just understood me. NotChrisRock in his own way, gets me. And it freaks me out because he does. And on Friday, that was the last thing I wanted to confront. So, I explained for a bit, complained I was tired, let him drag me into the bedroom, where I proceeded to bounce on him again, get my O and then fell into a semi-satisfied sleep.

Cowardly, you bet, but I've decided that all bets are off when dealing with NotChrisRock. He's way too good at poking at the parts of me that I'm not ready to look at yet.

Kill, Marry, Fuck- The Election Version

The rules are simple. You pick one to KILL. One to MARRY. And one to FUCK.

Joe Biden


Barack Obama


John McCain


and if you're into chicks:


Sarah Palin


Michelle Obama


Cindy McCain


~NotCarrie

The Backstory…

posted by NotSamantha

So I realize that while I've been tripping the fun fantastic dating life with NotChrisRock, I realize that I haven't filled you guys in on what's been going on between one visit from Aunt Flo and another.

The High Points: Following Bite Night, NotChrisRock and I continued to learn a bit about each other. For me, I learned, while not a slob, he's not really that neat either, pet peeve sorta, but given my own bedroom's state of disarray, I gave it a pass. Also, while at time self deprecating, he's also very honest about what he thinks about other people and sticks by his opinions, which I appreciate. There is nothing worse than a man who can't hold onto a thought when faced with an opposing one. He's a good cook and says he can play a mean game of cards. Oh, and one thing, that I'm starting to like/hate about him. HE's a football junkie. Specifically: college football, more specifically: the SEC. Now, as I consider myself quite the girlie girl, I've never been one for football. I can appreciate from afar and that's about it. However, I've found that more often than not when I'm over at NotChrisRock's apartment he's got his tv tuned to a football game or ESPN is reviewing one that he just watched. And because this is the DC area it just wouldn't be complete with the political, and he's definitely political. Not sure what he's learned about me, except that I like coffee and lots of it and that I can stay up until 4am and still be ready to go.

The Low Points: In the bedroom he's rocking the failboat on getting me there. However, we introduced one of my toys and that worked out very well indeed, so I'm sort of satisfied in that regard. He's very much into going with the flow, and I'm very much a plan it to prevent from failing and we found after a frustrating evening of trying to decide where we should go out to that week, that we were making each other angry…at least I was angry. He's into his stuff and often to the detriment of the others (read: me) around him. There have been several occasions when I've been over and he's been either watching a game or playing a video game and he's not stopped playing or has started one of these activities when I arrive and continues to do so. To be honest, I'm not sure if I care. If he were in the BF category I would be majorly pissy, as it stands I'm shrugging it off. He makes me laugh, cooks food for me if I ask and is really good at keeping my attention off of work.

Not the love of my life, but I knew that 10 seconds after meeting him. And I'm going to take some advice from NotASong on this whole shebang. "He's a nice guy, you deserve a nice guy…so stop looking for problems and just enjoy him while he's here."

And so I am.

This is the oddest thing...

Soooo...my phone just rang and its NotChrisRock. He says, "I've just put a pot of coffee on for you."

*raised eyebrow*

"Am I supposed to be coming over?" From me, she who now wears the clueless hat.

"Yeah, I'll see you when you get here."

Now, lets step back a bit. I've made no plans to see NotChrisRock tonight. Mainly, because I can't get any because Aunt Flo is visiting. He knows this as well. So why the invite? or lure since its coffee?

I have to appreciate his self confidence, but the chutzpah!

Is comfortable enough

Let me begin with the fact that I never (or maybe very rarely) dream about people I'm interested in or people I know in any kind of sexual or relationship-y way. However, last night I had what amounted to the sweetest, most realistic dream about one of my own. I don't want to mention his name here right now, but he has appeared on these pages before.

There was a lot more going on in the dream, but I'll just stick to the important parts. I was hanging out with my gentleman friend, and we were discussing our mutual friends. I confess that this one friend has been driving me crazy, and suddenly he kisses me. Full on. The odds of this particular boy doing this in real life are so slim I might win the lottery first (only b/c he is uber shy and wrapped up in layers of awkwardness). We kissed for a long time, and then pulled away and kissed again. We were happy. We were also very adult about it and honest. He looks at me, smiling, and says how comfortable that was. I smile because I was thinking the same thing. It wasn't full of passion or that "thing" that makes you think you might die if you don't kiss them again. It was just like coming home. It was the feeling that I could kiss that person any time I saw them just because I wanted to.

So here's my question to you all. Would comfortable be enough for you?

Two And A Half Hours Of Sex (And The City)

I finally saw the Sex And The City movie last night. The others saw it on opening night or something, but I was not into the idea of paying too much to see it at midnight in a crowded audience. I'm a fan of matinees months after a movie came out where we're the only ones in the theatre. But enough about when I didn't see it! Here are my thoughts (Oh, and if there's actually another person who hasn't seen it yet, there are spoilers ahead, I guess):

• It was definitely long, but I didn't feel like it was too drawn out.
• If anything, I would have cut out more of the Samantha parts-she tends to annoy me. It was good to finally see a wang in a movie that wasn't on Kevin Bacon. Especially after all the breasts.
• Speaking of...the Mirana sex scene was crazy! Whoa! Had she ever done one like that in the show?
• I love Steve.
• The fashion was definitely fun. My favorites were the couture wedding dresses, of course.
• The best scene (acting wise) was when Charlotte yells at Big after he doesn't show up at the wedding. And when Carrie yells, "Get me out of here!" It was very "Sandra Oh".
• I was going to turn the movie off if Steve didn't show up on the bridge. I'm still not happy that Samantha and Smith broke up-that's bullshit.
• Lily was super cute, but also a big trouble maker with that phone!
• Jennifer Hudson as Carrie's assistant didn't bother me as much as I expected her to. She was worst when she came off as kind of stupid and with no depth. She kind of oscillated between okay and stupid.
• I want Charlotte's apartment. Or Carrie's new one!
• Did they ever mention or show Carrie's parents during the show?
• So now they're saying they might have a second movie? What will the plot be for that, though?
• Miranda is so pretty when she has a lot of eye makeup on! (Not that she does not usually.)
• I loved the Valentine's Day scene with the balloons, haha!
• Carrie is a freak petite. This was obvious when Big proposed and was almost her height when on bended knee. I am glad I'm tall.
• I was glad Charlotte got some real scene instead of her usual stuff (like when she was in the shower in Mexico...it's just so...fake.)
• Samantha is my least favorite because every word she speaks sounds like she's doing voiceover for a p0rno.
• Carrie looked super hott as a brunette! Darker is better, my friends.
• That is all.

In The Meantime

1) Do you have any friends you would have sex with?
Of course. The list is way short, though.


(2) Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
why narrow it down? Bring it.


3)Ever had to pull over along the road and puke?
Yes...yuck!


(4) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Not yet.

(5) Shower or bath while having sex?
I hate baths.


(6) Mexican girls or Chinese guys?
Guys, please.

(7) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Be aggressive. B-E aggressive (remember that cheer?)


(8) Do you love any of your friends?
of course


(9) Love or Money?
<3


(10)Credit cards or cash?
cash


11) where is the weirdest place you had sex?
backseat of my car...oh wait, that's soon.

(12) Camping or a 5 star hotel?
are you kidding me? 5 star.

(14) Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
nooooooo

(15) Have you ever been to a strip club?
Camelot!

(16) Ever been to a bar?
do you know me at all?

(17) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
ugh, yes.

(18) Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
no

(19) Had sex in a movie theater?
no

(20) Had sex in a bathroom?
likely

(21) Have you ever had sex at work?
not yet

(22) Ever been to an adult store?
yes

(23) Bought something from an adult store?
condoms

(24) Have you been caught having sex?
no

(25) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
not yet


(26) Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
hahaha no, but one time I almost said the wrong name just in general. yikes! it's still bad.