Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What if Marriage isn’t the Goal?

While NotCharlotte has moved on, I'm still here and this is still the No Sex and the City blog. So I bid her farewell in this blogosphere, but I know I'll see her in others. There my hat is tipped…now on to the post.


At 28 years old I've come to the conclusion that while marriage is something I want it's not the goal. So while driving to Maryland to be scared to death, NotASong, NotADot and I confronted a fear of a different sort. I have many things I want to achieve in this go round of life, but the longer I'm single the more I realize that marriage isn't one of them. I want to be in a committed relationship, sure, but I don't consider getting married as the end of the road for me, or even the beginning. So, what if the goal is something else besides the societal norm? What if you're breaking away from tradition and saying that is not what I'm reaching for, but if I get there then fine, if not then, that's fine too. Anyone else for shattering the goal of marriage with me?


My goal – to own my very own specialized bookstore/tea and coffee shop. That's it no frills, no thrills, just coffee, tea or me with books.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Take What You Take

Gossip. It's something we all crave. For some, it's a way to feel wanted, like you're part of an inside group. For others, it's a power move. They use information to hurt, gain access, to shock the people it's about. It doesn't help that in our society, we have shows like Gossip Girl and Access Hollywood to fuel our fire. Come Wednesday night, I'm sitting in front of the television, waiting to see what B will to do S, and vice versa. I then start thanking my lucky stars that I don't have friends or situations that vindictive and hurtful. Then I read past posts and comments on this blog.

At the beginning, the four of us set out to anonymously entertain whoever wanted to read with the trials and tribulations of being single in the District. We sat around the table at the diner across the street from the bookstore we all worked and figured out which name would go with what person. We chuckled at the thought of channeling our favorite SATC characters as people ate up our stories like we were eating our cheese fries. "I wonder who will read it?" We pondered.

As things progressed, our friendships waxed and waned. The closeknit community of bookstore compatriots started to fail and cliques grew. The grapevine started to climb and along with it, our stories became more intriguing and detailed. We learned the hard way who to trust and who we should keep a safe distance from. Characters started to develop and we became fully committed to creating for our readers something worth a perusal.

Then people from work started reading this blog. I don't think any of us knew right away, but it became unsettling. I started to become paranoid that people knew things about me and I didn't know who exactly it was. This dissapated after I quit working at the bookstore, after I stopped hanging out with most people from there. I forgot about it and continued living my life and as it happened, giving you guys my honest opinion on my life.

Recently though, it came back. Anonymous comments stung through our posts and I began to narrow down the people I knew had been reading.
It was our fault, once you put something on the internet, it's free domain. Anyone can read. Hell, past me wouldn't give a shit who read, it meant more hits, more people reading something I took the time to write. I mean come on, we wanted people to read.

Then I started to think about what I was writing lately. About NotHarry. Considering he was married to one of the people that hangs out with the people I know read this blog, I started to feel like it was an invasion of my privacy. I know, my fault again. I used this blog as therapy. I wrote what I thought would make things good. When I wrote things out it was confirmation that I was happy. To think that people read this and discuss and write comments on something that I hold close to my heart makes me very frustrated and somewhat angry. I'm angry that people have the nerve to take apart something that makes me so happy and I'm frustrated that I don't feel I can defend myself because, well, this is supposed to be anonymous.

So with these recent developments and with a lot of thinking, I've decided to stop writing as NotCharlotte. I'm giving up this blog. I just can't do it anymore. I've shared for almost four years every single date, every single fuck up, every single emotion that I've felt with regard to boys, men, and relationships in general. I just can't do it anymore.

I can't speak for the other girls, it's up to them what they decide to do with this forum. I just know that I can't continue sharing my secrets when I know they're being read by people I wouldn't share with in real life.

I'm going to miss it though, I would look forward to comments from our regular readers. I got excited when a new person would read our blog and comment so favorably on what grew from four girls shooting the shit to a full blown commitment of our time and experiences.

I invite you to continue writing your thoughts and opinions to me, I can be reached at

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I think going west may be in my future…

Anthony Bourdain described the Pacific Northwest in one word…"Obsession." If there were ever one word to describe yours truly this would be it. I think the love of my life is waiting for me there as well. So, here's my send off NoVA. In three more years (if I can wait that long), I'm going to be west coast bound. And I'll be bringing it to you live from some Seattle coffee shop, or who knows, I might be opening my own dream store.

Monday, October 15, 2007

An "I Need A Hug" Day

It can be difficult when, after getting used to physical contact, you go a day without any. And I'm just talking hugs here. I could have used one today. My day just went on too long and began in a hurry that set me on edge for the rest of the day.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Spooning is for Lovers

I really don't understand how I can sleep by myself, when I've got the most perfect spoon partner just a few miles away.
It's so hard to rip myself from the comforts of NotHarry's bed that I find myself making excuses as to why I can go home just a little bit later. The only reason I left tonight is because I'm doing an event in Arlington tomorrow that requires me to be up at 8am and work from 10am until midnight.
Sleep is required for me to not kill someone tomorrow.

The way things are going though, I don't think i'll have to sleep by myself for much longer.