Tuesday, January 30, 2007
NotTuesdays: So NotCharlotte, yesterday I had an intersting conversation with NotTall about you yesterday.
Me: Oh really?
NT: Yes, really. We were talking about my work schedule and I said something about how much I love working on Tuesdays with you and he stops what he's doing and gets a far off look in his eyes. He goes 'Man, that NotCharlotte. She's got the most captivating eyes. If she were a little bit older, or I were a little less taken...'
Me: *abah* whaaat? How old is he?
NT: I think he's around 39. He kept talking about your eyes and how much he likes your laugh and how you're always happy and so fun to be around.
This was all very flattering, but honestly, I didn't expect this coming from a man that I consider old enough to be my... older uncle. He's always complimenting me on my eyes, but I didn't know it was that intense of a "like." I'm not sure if I should be flattered about this or slightly creeped out. Those are perfect words to be said about myself, I only wish they could have come out of someone else's mouth...
Monday, January 29, 2007
Moral of the story: Women are not all the same, and simply going with standard operating procedure is not always good enough.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Well, alert the media because I'm lifting this self-imposed idea for now. And who let me be such a stick in the mud about it all anyway? I'll rethink my personal position on random kissing after I get my next kiss in, but just like a heroin addict and his next fix, do you really think I'm going to quit after one? It's just been way too long.
So guys, go ahead and line up. Nice and orderly, please. I recommend Orbitz's new Mint Mojito gum if you're unprepared and try to keep your hands PG13, please. We're not making a porno here.
Monday, January 22, 2007
No seriously, I do.
And my favorite type of dance is latin. Doesn't matter which; Salsa, Tango or Merengue, I love them all. There are others, but for me, those are the only ones I can spell...that is unless I spelled merengue wrong. I've decided that in this mess of wanting (and for some needing) a boyfriend, I just want someone to dance with. Someone, who isn't afraid to get on the dance floor and shake his, hopefully with some rhythm, booty. It doesn't hurt that he'll be holding me in his arms either.
And right now that's all I want. Today, I feel like my wants and needs are simple, uncomplicated and easy to meet. So what about you?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
This evening I received some unfortunate news about NotGraceful and realized that not only was he an asshole, but that everyone of you that commented on my previous blog was correct in your assumptions about him. I started feeling bad about myself, embarrassed even that I had been so stupid and that I still have to see him with the knowledge that we hooked up and that it was just "friends with benefits" kind of stuff.
Although I never commented back to any of you, I'd like to thank you all for your insight. It's funny that sometimes complete strangers know more about your real situation than you do.
In my bout of self-pity pouting, I started to make a list of reasons that I would be a bad girlfriend. Here is what I came up with:
1. I require sleep and food at regular intervals. If I do not get either a nap or a snack in after a long day at work, I will be pretty grumpy.
2. I have a penchant for 80s music, specifically Journey, Foreigner, Europe, and Def Leppard. I have no idea why, but "Final Countdown" is the best song to sing at loud intervals while doing just about anything, including but not limited to driving from Fairfax to Springfield, making fruit tarts, or eating at Fridays with a big group of people.
3. I make unnecessary sound effects. A lot.
4. I watch Food Network like it's my job. And then I talk about it when I'm not watching it.
5. I speak German fluently. Apparently to some men this is a turn off because it reminds them of someone hacking up a hairball while trying to drink soup simultaneously.
6. I don't like watching sports on television, however if I am at a live sporting event I automatically turn into a fair weather fan.
7. I am an avid text messager. If you can't respect the text, then I can't respect you.
These facts are sad, but 100% true.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Please report in and let us know what you and your date decide to do. And if you're worried about us stalking you, tell us after-the-fact. That's fine...we are always looking for new things to do and date ideas would be much appreciated. Some ideas I've heard thrown around for the DC area are Lucky Strikes, The Black Cat for a show and/or drinks, grub at a restaurant, etc.
If you don't want to put your date details in the comments section, feel free to email me. And if you're really feeling it, let me know if we can ask you a few questions after the big night. Wouldn't that be fun!?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
+ UK Pants Guy- This is a regular and yes, he has an accent. NotMiranda actually got the ball rolling with him by commenting on said pants. I just hope he doesn't keep wearing them everyday in hopes that we will comment again. We do like other articles of clothing, too.
+ Knit Cap Guy- I wonder if you noticed when I looked deep into your eyes as you told me what you wanted. Connection-did you feel that? Please come back. I know what you'll want next time;)
+ Hot, Charming, Coworker- Oh wait, an empty category. I have high hopes for new hires.
+ Tall Guy With Too Short Girl- Dump her. She's too short and you're going to hurt your back bending over so far to speak loudly so she can hear you. I'm more on your level.
+ Randoms- Come back soon, please. So far you have just been blips on the radar, but if you come back, I promise you a nickname and some eyelash batting.
*So bad. I know.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The Retropolitan was right. All told, we raised $871 for V-Day. Our maximum bid total was $990, so if any of you ladies are feeling generous and feel like donating your maximum bid, feel free to go to the payment site and do so for V-Day.
Thanks so much to all who participated!! You guys (and girls) were awesome! I hope you had as much fun as we did.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Come on Chicago, REPRESENT!!!!!!!
*Ha, my use of italics made that sound kind of suggestive.
Want to make this real-life "Luke" yours? Bid on Tice!!!
How can you resist a man who not only has a cat on his shoulder in his pic, but loves "driving fast on a curvy back road"? That's hott, right?
Go bid! And to clear up any confusion, bidding ends tomorrow night.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
It's been a great day of some intense bidding, but we're not even halfway there yet! The auction will close at midnight on Saturday and since tomorrow has to be payday for a large majority of you chicas out there, I expect to see even more action on the bidding site tomorrow. So get some rest, get some money and bid on these guys! Keep spreading the word, too. We're not just in DC for this thing, we've got Chicago, Oxfordshire, Arkansas, California, Georgia, and Oregon with representation.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Maybe you’ll recall several months ago that NotGeorge appeared on my list of crushes. What started out in a “typical” blogger relationship, reading each other’s posts and commenting, developed into an online friendship. We began instant messaging each other and talking on the phone. There would be times I’d look up at the clock and realize we had been talking for 6 hours without pause. When a bottle of wine was involved, we would jokingly refer to these as “dates”. There was the obligatory exchange of pictures and my declaration that we were just friends. Still, there was minor flirting on both parts, and he wormed his way in. My crush developed. This is someone I would talk to every day. He got in, made it past my firewall.
There were warning signs that I think I wanted to ignore. Despite the flirting, this was no relationship. He made mention of other women, and I was busy kissing him and him. Eventually the inevitable happened, and a job interview brought him to DC and a weekend with me. As it got closer and closer to our actual meeting, I confessed I had developed a bit of a crush and was tired of hearing of these other potential women, particularly the body builder*. We had what I think was a frank discussion on the potential chemistry we may or may not have, and I began to get nervous about actually meeting him.
Meeting any fellow blogger for the first time is unnerving, but imagine meeting one you had developed a bit of a fondness for. I felt like I was being forced to take a midterm I couldn’t study for. Waiting to face someone at the airport who is supposed to stay with you for the next four days is unnerving. Oh wait, did I say supposed to stay with me? The first wrench in what could have been a smooth meeting was tossed in by me. Circumstances outside of my control dictated that he couldn’t stay at my apartment, so rather than tell him about it in advance, I arranged other accommodations. This is not the kind of information to wait to impart to someone you just met and that has just stepped off an airplane. It’s something I’m still living down.
Once we got past the fact that he would be staying in a motel, the weekend went ok. I was definitely a bundle of nerves that first night, but the first full day was better. After his first round of interviews, we met up for some legal reception and later his friend for drinks. Alcohol definitely helped the cause, putting everyone more at ease. Honestly, at this point I was still trying to figure out if we had “it” but was thinking maybe we did. Nerves made my emotions so difficult to sort out.
That night I stayed at the motel with him, and talk about awkward. I had no idea what to do with myself (no…not like that). I was supposed to be the aggressive one. That’s the way our online conversations played out, but how can you be sexually aggressive with someone you’ve just met. I guess you can’t really if you’re me. What ensued was quirky at worst, sweet at best. There was the back scratching thing**, the minor wrestling thing, and the cuddling/spooning/trying to sleep thing.
Stress levels were back up the next day because my birthday party was that night, and he was going to meet a good number of my friends, including all of the Not girls and some of the characters like NotGraceful*** and NotBeast***. To keep this as short as possible, let’s just say that on my birthday I got drunk, became obsessed with NotSamantha’s flogger and made a number of sloppy passes and the statement, “I don’t want to want you.”****
I woke that Sunday morning to be told that he was glad I (the sober, sane one) was back and that he had started not to like me last night. Despite hearing I’d made such an ass of myself, what ensued was an endearing day of napping and talking on the couch with some Amazing Race that night. At one point, NotGeorge shoots me a look and when asked what it was for, he says he is considering jumping me. When I ask why he doesn’t, the subject is changed. A bit later I look at him and tell him I want him to kiss me. His response is that part of him wants to kiss me, too. I ask about the part that doesn’t and what ensues is a confusing conversation about his being afraid if we took that next step we’d eventually lose the friendship and closeness that we have. In spite of the conversation, kissing did occur, and I’m really having a hard time describing it. Was there the chemistry that told my brain I’d die if he ever stopped kissing me? No. It was nice…and sweet…and I could have gone on kissing him for a long time. However, I sensed him holding back.
As I was driving him to the airport the next morning, I had wrapped my mind around the fact that we were destined for friends-only territory and had already decided it would be a goodbye hug at the airport. And then he kisses me goodbye. When I return the kiss somewhat platonically, his response is, “that’s all?” We kiss again with a bit more passion, and I say something about the fact that I think I’m going to miss him. I surprise myself by shedding a tear as I drive away.
At this point, I’m completely confused and becoming a total girl. Wtf? Are we friends? Are we more than friends? Rather than confronting this issue head on, I do what any girl would do…I analyze…and analyze. He’s back at home and things go somewhat back to normal. I think that perhaps I’ll see him when I go home for the holidays and things will get sorted out then. In the meantime, we continue to chat online and on the phone.
Flash forward a couple of weeks, and I get an email asking if I would be willing to drive from Austin to San Francisco with him and help him move after Christmas. Always up for an adventure, I agree. In a follow-up email, he writes this (among other things):
“We could spend a romantic new year’s eve in some motel! J”
What? Was he joking? My stomach flipped a little and the girl in me thought maybe. The warning signs were still there, though. I should have been taking off the rose-colored glasses and busting out a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. There were comments like, “I wish I had a girlfriend to…” I knew clarity had to be gained on the road to San Francisco.
(This post is really too long. Sorry!)
So, two weeks ago I travel to Austin and set out to help this man move from Austin to San Francisco and see a little bit of the country in the process. Moving is stressful, but it’s been a while since I’ve fought with someone as much as we bickered at the beginning of that trip. He would get frustrated and bark at me, putting me on edge and making me get snippy back. We weren’t communicating or were (quite literally) not hearing what the other person was saying. I sobbed that first night after a misunderstanding***** that had us sleeping in separate cars at a truck stop in Van Horn, TX.
On the road the next day, I knew we needed to talk (and soon). I, at least, had to clear up the whole relationship issue. That night we stopped for sushi in Phoenix, and I decided to strike******. I brought up the airport and explained how it completely threw me, how I had been ready to be ok with friends and that it made me think and hope there was something more. He reasoned that (1) it was just a kiss; (2) after such an intense weekend, it had felt appropriate; and (3) he had also been a bit confused at the time. I think I made it clear that I don’t kiss my friends or sleep/cuddle with my friends. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when he responded by saying if he had wanted to be more than friends, he would have felt me up. Hmmm…insulted. This was turning into a positive trip. Once back on the road, I kept thinking I should cry, that I should be more upset. It didn’t happen though. Maybe the stress of our arguing had drained me of any emotion. Maybe I just wasn’t that into him. I don’t know. That brings us to this post.
(This is where I play amateur psychologist.)
There was more tension, more stress, but things did get better, especially once the moving and unpacking were done. We were more open about what frustrated us in the other. The days that followed were sightseeing and domestic errands. It’s odd how quickly you can lull yourself into a routine. I found myself developing a deeper bond of friendship with him through everything we had gone through. There were moments like New Year’s Eve when I wanted to kiss or walking down the street when it would have been nice to hold hands, but in general, it moved beyond that. On the way to the airport on Thursday, I had to bite my lip to keep from crying, managing not to cry until I was on the plane. While I had wanted to bail at different points in the trip, I was truly sad to go home. Leaving was hard, and it’s up to me to figure out why. Why did I feel a little incomplete that first day back? Why am I not angry at some of the things he said or the way the situation turned out? Why does a small part of me still want to make out with him?
*His story, not mine.
**His story, not mine.
***Both of whom happen to be in the charity auction.
****I did want to want him. I just didn’t want to want him if he didn’t want me.
*****The misunderstanding wasn’t the cause of us sleeping at a truck stop, but I don’t want to write the sentence differently.
******So the wrong word, since it took me forever to get out, and I basically reverted back to my 12 year old self.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Want to find someone new to celebrate your own Renew Year's with? Want to help out a worthy cause? Bid on one of our eligible bachelors in the first Not Girls Charity Auction. Browse the goods here*, and come back January 11-13 to put your money where your mouth is.
*Like the site? It's all the handy work of Dan. Web designers turn you on? He's up on the auction block on come January 11!
Friday, January 05, 2007
I've been hooking up with NotGraceful for the past 2 months. Since our fateful night at the Halloween party, we've discovered more of each other than sequins on David Bowie's pants. These are all alcohol-induced hookups, which makes me realize that perhaps there's nothing to them. Of course, me being a girl, I've been tending to think otherwise.
How is someone to know the status of a hookup? Are there rules? Am I, for example, expected to "forget" each night and treat each new one as just that? It's very hard to do that when both parties remember what the other one likes.
I wish I could go into more detail, but I'm not, for fear that he reads this. If that's the case, then so be it. Let's figure this out, either way, so I can stop overanalyzing it.
Readers, I need advice.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
For example, how likely is it to fall in love while sitting at home watching Netflix movies? Hmmmm, not very likely, eh? How likely is it to fall in love while being antisocial at a party? A little more likely only because other people are involved, but how many guys want to talk to the girl in the corner?
I think the 2007 Fall In Love goal is completely feasible if looked at from the mindset of creating the opportunites to fall in love and for others to fall in love with me. I think it's about being out there and being myself and being absolutely fabulous. Who wouldn't want to fall in love with me? I just need to give them the opportunity!
I love 2007 already!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Onto the things I would like to keep in mind in Two Double Oh Seven:
1. Not that I get a lot of date invitations, but I want to be more open to the idea of new people.I think I am definitely the type to build a relationship from a friendship, which is something I should probably expand upon. There are gazillions of people out there and I need to not be afraid of encountering them in a romantic setting.
2. I don't want to let other people's negative moods to affect me. Sometimes it's like a club to join or something, but it's more important for me to remain positive. I'm an optimist, I really am. No negativity!
3. Floss more.
4. I won't wait to see what happens. I will try my best to make things happen.
5. I will not come home from my cousin's wedding without finding a fiance of my own.
Okay, kidding on #5. I might add to this later, but this is my concise list for the moment. Things to keep in mind.