Tuesday, May 31, 2005

You scored as Miranda Hobbes. You're Miranda! Smart, independant and yes, pessimistic. You're a good friend who is ready to listen and give your own unique, cynical advice. You do have a soft spot, though, and when you're ready you'll let people in.

Miranda Hobbes


Carrie Bradshaw


Charlotte York


Samantha Jones


Which "Sex and the City" girl are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Monday, May 30, 2005

You scored as charlotte. you are the EXACT opposite of samantha. you love the conservative lifestyle









what sex and the city character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com


You scored as Carrie. you are the glue in many friendships and relationships. you're weakness: SHOES!









what sex and the city character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

nobody said it was easy...

i guess i'm going the "friends first" route with NotElliot.
Like i planned that... <--sarcasm
this weekend we bonded and i have decided to not feel intimidated by him anymore.
Friday night he and NotMiranda inadvertently spent the night, after finishing off a bottle of rum. Nothing happened, everyone was too drunk to do anything but crash on the couch and snore.
NotElliot and i shared the couch, but the only thing i cuddled was his legs as he stretched out and proceeded to not want to leave my house.
I called one of my friends, NotKitty, the following morning to see if she and the rest got home ok and ended up telling her about the festivities that occured after we had parted ways.
i didn't mean to.
then on sunday at work she started railing me in front of part of the trifecta (NotCurly) about the reason me being tired was because i drank too much and didn't get home until 8am. i coyly told her that i was home before 8 and didn't get to sleep until 8. she then asked "well, what time did you guys get to sleep?"
and NotCurly raised her eyebrow and looked at me.
i did not mention names and was glad i didn't.
but then i saw the two of them (NotKitty + NotCurly) take their lunch break together and when they came back in she kept looking at me weird.
NotBigMouth was closing as welll and she was rude as always to me, but i wonder if word got back to her.
the only thing i told NotKitty was that the two people came to my house and we drank. that's it.
i'm waiting to hear what the telephone gossip train brings back to my ears.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Just Put Your Lips Together And...

Instead of blogging about my (lack of )love life and the frustrations I am experiencing in trying to obtain one again, I am going to instead blog about strangers. And kissing them.

I used to keep a list of people I had kissed. It was like my Shag List but since that list would be too easy to lose, I decided to make one that I would be able to add to often. Nevermind who was first (because I honestly don't remember anymore) or who was the most recent (because I am trying desparately to change that name). I instead want to remember those guys with whom I locked lips before knowing anything more than their first names. And now, a walk down memory lane (but in no particular order):

NotBradford- some guy at my wildly insane birthday party. a friend instructed him to "kiss the birthday girl" he did and then I said, "EW, Chex Mix!"

NotShortie-a night where I had about 5 too many drinks in Baltimore and ended up making out with NotShortie who was about a foot shorter than me. He was extremely disappointed when my friend said he would not be getting any and he should go ahead home. NotShortie ended up calling me a few days later which was interesting...mostly because he was in the car with his family on the way to a funeral. Who does that?

NotStranger- New Years Eve 2003, a night that will go down in kissing history. He was # 3 out of 5. We walked past each other on the street, made eye contact and kept walking. Then we both turned around and he said, "I haven't gotten my midnight kiss" and I kissed him. It was hot. Never saw him again.

NotARockStar- Bar Crawls are dangerous. My best friend, and partner in crime, yelled out to 2 hot guys walking to the next bar in front of us. We ended up hanging out with them the rest of the night and had one of the most random times ever. We went with them to check into their hotel room and my friend and I got separated with our respective guys. She later told me they went into a bathroom or something while NotARockStar and I took the elevator downstairs. It was like a scene in a movie where he'd kiss me when the doors were closed, step away when they opened, and then right back at it once we were alone again. Talk about hot.

NotIrish- I sort of knew NotIrish so maybe he doesn't belong on this list but I feel the need to include him as he had a tongue ring and also said I was a good kisser. I did not, however, know him well enough for him to kiss me in the middle of a bar like he did.

I haven't kissed any strangers recently...I'm wondering if that was a "younger twenties" type thing to do.

I'm not ready

This weekend I came to the realization that I'm not ready for a relationship yet. How can I be if I don't like myself enough? This realization hurts on so many different levels. There are still things about me that I can't seem to deal with....why? I'm an intelligent, grown woman; yet if I can't deal with my unappealing side, why should a man want to deal with them and also me dealing with them? Even the whininess of this post is driving me crazy.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

long slow goodbye

so today is NotVegas' birthday. it's also the day that i realized he was slowly breaking my heart. the night he went to a strip club and didn't want to tell me what happened there.
shortly after this day last year, my relationship broke apart. slowly but surely my trust in this guy dwindled to nothing.
the fact that i stayed with him for eight months is shocking to me. phone calls, car rides, secret work rendevous, they were nice but what they led up to was absolute crap.
what doesn't make me feel any better is the fact that i am still single after him.
it's sad to remember all of this stuff and hold on to it for a year after the fact, but what else have i got to hold onto?
this summer holds promise for new and exciting things to happen and i hope that one year from today i will not be the same person i am right now: lonely and bitter.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Finding your groove in the workplace

Workplace crushes...are they still considered forbidden or seen as more the norm these days? In fact, why don't we expand the conversation to include professional colleagues. I bring this up because, among the 'Not' girls, at least 3 of us have what I'm calling workplace crushes. In fact, some of us (i.e., me) are workplace crush sluts...spreading the love to many a beau. As I see it, there are 2 kinds of wrokplace crushes, the platonic uber-crushes and the omghowcanigethim crushes. Right now I'm kind of perplexed by my own omghowcanigethim crush with a 'professional colleague'. I swear to God we clicked in person, and I want to be bold and make a more personal move but am worried about how acceptable or unacceptable this is. I mean...I can just see my boss getting a formal complaint about how forward I am. *sigh*

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


Alicia Keys said it best when she sang, "I keep on fallin' in and out of love with you." But have you ever wondered why they call it 'falling' in love when it can make you feel so high? Perhaps it's that feeling of inevitability that your being sucked deep down into that person. Or maybe it's that feeling that you've just stepped off a cliff. Whatever the reason, people seem to be falling all around me at alarming rates. I'm amazed, too, at how quickly people go from being just friends to having to ask permission for doing something and having their style dictated to them. I started pondering this after having a drink last night with NotPrince and NotPagan. I found myself wondering how two very atypical people devolved quickly into such a seemingly average relationship. In a matter of days, it appears that NotPrince has gone from full-frontal attitude assault to checking in with NotPagan about what he can and cannot do. And NotPagan, who I never would have considered a girly-girl, is already looking for stylists to makeover NotPrince's hair. I think I began pondering all of this a couple of days ago when a goth-type chick, who was recently engaged, came to my register to purchase a couple of typical bridal magazines and a very quaint wedding planner. I am no way saying this is a bad thing. I just find it curious how quickly and readily people move toward the norm.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Annnnnnnnd KISS!

Can I just say how sick I am of watching movies that have first kisses in them? They are the poorest representation of actuality and only serve to make me angry that the real ones aren't that easy. You know what I'm talking about:
-both parties lock eyes
-often the gaze shifts to the lips
-both parties lean in at the same time
-there are fireworks in the background
-both parties know the level of intensity (read: tongue) to reach
-world peace is achieved.

Going along with the need for all males to wear nametags declaring their sexual orientation and availibility, I hereby declare the need for some sort of "kissometer." Something to let us know when, and if, they want to lock lips.

I'd be willing to wear one if they would. Things would probably be a lot easier, smoother, and quicker!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

What’s your theme song…

At the risk of sounding too bloggy (new word, yes!), I would like to ask what your theme song is for the many moods you go through and the many characterizations you embody during the day.
For example in the morning as I get ready to leave my house, I am humbly reminded of “flight of the bumble bee” wand would hum said tune if I had time to stop and think about where to start it.

But I also, have theme songs for the varying degrees of sex appeal I exude.

Case in point:

The “Everyday, I love the curve of my hips the bend of my knee and my obvious sway” song is the opening drum solo from “Get Up” by Janet Jackson. Basically I imagine my hips as a seesaw that bends up and down on each side as I walk where ever I’m going.

Next is the “Follow me to the pleasure you seek sashay,” which is accomplished with “Who’s that Girl?” by Eve.

The there is the “If you can’t keep up with my normal stride what makes you think you can keep up with me in bed stalk,” which is “He’s a Dream” by Shandi.

So where does your walk stand.

There are others that I will reveal later…that is, if you can keep up with my walk.


The Jackie O. – Marilyn Monroe syndrome…

Okay, I think I’ve become a victim of my own game.

I started out with this online dating thing, with two dates (see the coming posts for the details of that fiasco) and so far I’ve discovered that maybe its not the guys I’m seeing but the site I’m using. Its an adult themed site, so no worries that the young or too young in mind will frequent it, but its also so sexually themed that I’m wondering if there is more to it then just the sex it screams.

I am no Jackie O., but the guys I’ve been out with so far are only out for one thing. They’re not interested in conversation or in trading the best movies, they’re only interested in getting into my pants. Despite the fact that I’m not easy or a sure thing, I have to wonder if instead of women being the Jackie O. or the Marilyn Monroe, if it’s the guys who aspire to this flight of fancy. If they’re not the ones who are either/or.

Or if both sexes are, and the only way to find a successful partner is to find that person who meets both sides of that theme. *sigh*

On Dating Older Men..

I’m 26, I could pass for someone older (though not exactly sure how I feel about that one), and with the online thing one of the blocks I have on my filter is age. However, when you look at my profile, it clearly states how old I am and what I’m looking for. So given this fount of information, why is it that every 45-65 year old man with a pulse thinks that its okay to email me…

Despite that, the emails go into a separate filtered folder and on occasion I go through it and either delete the lot or chat with some of the older gentlemen. Hypocritical of me, probably, but then it’s my blog and I can be hypocritical if I want to….

Right now, I’m in email conversations with 3 older men, will I meet them, maybe, will I do more than just talk with them, maybe…will I put it up on the NSATC for you guys to comment on, you bet you Manolos I will.

the sex spy business is slow

I've had no new assignments as of late and am feeling a little restless. Hey, NotCarrie (fellow spy), what do you say we do a little spy work and figure out cooler places to hang out in the area? We seem to end up at the local TGIF often enough, and regardless of how much I love their fries, there's bound to be someplace nearby with a better atmosphere.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

positive tension

so as you can probably tell from NotMiranda's suggestions, i've been quite horny lately.
this is not my fault. it's not anyone's fault, really. i just need to get some action. of any kind, really. and it doesn't help that we email about this all day.
so this weekend a friend of mine from high school is coming home for the summer. NotSoccer and i had been really close in hs and have kept in touch in the past years. over instant messenger, we got to know each other a lot... better. He is no longer the "high school" NotSoccer that i used to know. Our conversations delved into the more... shall we say.. uber-personal realm. ever since these conversations however, we have not seen each other.
this friday will be the first time. and it will be interesting because of the content in these conversations. the potential for hooking up is quite high, if he sticks with his promise that he will go out with me. and my friends of course. one thing that has stopped me from ever doing anything with him is his severe lack for keeping to his word. he is one of the flakiest people i've ever known.
but i would not turn him down if he wanted to mo for a little bit. especially if he buys me drinks, which i know i can persuade him to do.
i am however still hesitant and would like some feedback on this situation. because this weekend holds a lot of opportunity for meeting new people.

fetishes, fantasies and "interests"

What do you get when you combine three single girls, gmail, and an addiction to email? Blathering emails about fetishes, "interests" and whether or not to get a b.o.b....that's what you get! Let's just say that the normal email string has taken a turn for the horny as hormones run high and spring mating season begins. Think again if you believe the way to a girl's bed is with chocolate. Next time try a little whipped cream, ties that bind or a semi-public venue.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Onions have layers! Ogres have layers! Onions have layers! You get it?

Every morning I think about underwear. You know...as in what do I want to wear today...Well, NotCarrie's email about matching bras and panties and her current rocking pair got me thinking about how much I like the panties I have on today. This, of course, led to other thoughts mainly about how happy wearing foundation garments you like can make you. Maybe this is just me, but if I've got on a pair of panties I really like, I feel better throughout much of the day...could be confident...could be sexier...just better. For example, today I have on these low-rise briefs I love with mixed drinks on them. To make it even better, they color coordinate with my shirt. It's not like anyone else would know this (except you guys now do), but it still makes me happy. Coordination directly follows fit in terms of me being happy. Why do you think these inner layers make our outer layers so happy?

Thursday, May 05, 2005

I haven't had much to write lately. Nothing is really happening, or if it is it's so minute it's not worthy of a blog. But I'm hoping this all changes soon.

random thoughts from a random personality

I'm walking to work this morning, and I start thinking about people who turn heads versus those who don't. It was then I came to the realization (not that this was new or surprising) that I'm not a head turner. I'll never be one of those girls a guy sees on the street and is immediately smitten with and wants to follow around like a puppy dog. I'm more the kind of girl that guys find themselves falling for slowly over time until one day they wake up and are like, "No...it can't be. Surely I don't. But, I do. I have a serious need to spend time with this woman." This may not be exactly what's running through their head, but I'm a girl that definitely involves a process. My question is what do I do if I don't ever have time for this process to happen?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

NotCharlotte needs to joust. Any takers?


i've realized that my posts have been few and far between, but honestly i don't have much to say.
so i'll talk about vibrators instead.
ever since that party NotMiranda and i went to, the subject has been in the back of my mind. the thought of something battery powered running my sex life is a bit odd, a little too high-tech for me but the more i think about it, the more intrigued i am. I talked to NotSamantha for a bit about it yesterday and i'm going to do some more research into it.
lord knows i could use a new outlet for some of this sexual frustration.
in other news, i have been bonding with NotPagan and NotPrince quite a bit. they have decided to start "talking" and i find it interesting to hear that both of their stories to me match up quite a bit. I give "mad props" to NotPrince for not caring that she knows he has a crush on her. i think that's very refreshing and i wish that i could be the same way around the men i like.
i have found, however, that playing hard to get is sometimes the way to go. NotMiranda, NotCarrie and i had planned a trip to one of NotCarrie's old stomping grounds and told everyone about it on Monday to mixed reviews. By friday, however, i had NotElliot calling and bugging me about the plans for friday and it turned out just as we planned. if you build it, they will come... eventually...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Operating under aliases

As more and more people stumble onto our regular blogs, I'm increasingly thankful for the anonymity of this site. The ability to operate under aliases and say whatever you want is freeing. Granted...it's also freeing to be able to say anything and have people know its you and know more about you, but in this case, keeping vital information out of the hands of the trifecta is more important (I've been watching way too much Alias).

I've given myself a deadline of June 1 for this article. I'm done interviewing people unless someone falls into my lap (then I might have to do more than interview them...hahaha). It would be great if you guys could interview a couple more people and then I could interview you about your interviews. I just want to clear this off my plate and move on to the next project...The Dark Underbelly of the Barn: Exposed! : ) Does this sound good to you guys or do you think more interviews are warrented? I was just going to enter the research phase and begin writing.

I try to be understanding about it...

This weekend was a bust datewise. Two dates, and not one guy seen. Now, I took careful stock of myself before I headed out on Saturday for the lunch date. Hair in place, makeup is flawless, breath is smelling good and hip sway is on point...and what do I get for my time and effort...a NO SHOW! I hate it. I hate it even more that he was late than a no show.

So, what do I do, fall into the arms of NotSkippy who I spend a wonderful afternoon and evening with and is pissed right along with me...of course this is where the kissing comes in.

Sunday, same song different partner, this time there is a phone call from my date to alert me that he is on the way. And then 45 minutes after the date was supposed to begin, I leave because if this person was going to be this late they should have called. Honestly!

So, not impressed thus far with the online dating pool I've selected. I'm very tempted to throw them all back and start from scratch....

Monday, May 02, 2005

Witty escapes me

When I don't post on a regular basis (re: the weekend), I feel really pressed to come up with something earth shattering. Unfortunately, this isn't going to happen today. All in all it was a good weekend. There was no action to be had on the man front, but I did enjoy myself on Friday night (until the evil drive of doom). I really am at a loss at the moment. In general, I'm restless in the man department. And, I'm sorry, but my restlessness will not decrease my pickiness. No online dating for me NotSamantha...at least not at this juncture in my life. I'm hoping a certain NotCowboy returns from West Virginia ready to sweep me off my feet, but seeing as how I'm grounded in reality, I know this won't happen.